That is why I get so frustrated by what seems to be daily privatizing of friends' blogs. If this keeps up, I'll have to stop checking in on my friends! I currently subscribe to 78 blogs. I have more blogs I try to keep up with that have already gone private. It seems like every day someone else says, "going private!" There's no way in heck I'd be able to check each of those regularly if everyone went private. Every time someone else goes private, I want to scream, "NO ONE IS STALKING* YOU OR YOUR CHILDREN!!!" I mean, I obviously can't guarantee that, but man it's unlikely.
So, I implore you, please stop going private people!!
I love keeping up with your lives and hearing from old (and new) friends. (*or stocking... except for Th.)
27 comments:
Today I agree with you, though I don't promise I won't be freaked out one day and go private. It's just that EVERYONE has a blog and I just figure the chance of picking up a real stalker from my blog is about as likely as picking one up at the grocery store, church or the park. Maybe that's dumb and maybe I'll feel differently when Addie starts school and is no longer under my constant and direct supervision. But before I would go private I would try to be anonymous like HOLLYWOODFLAKES. I've been trying to think of clever names for us for a while and nothing seems to fit yet.
PS I was raised with similar non-paranoia but I'm generally pretty paranoid.
Thank you! I hate it when people go private too! Unless you have a very large lapse in judgement and put your address and phone number on your blog, people can't exactly track you down. So they look at pictures of your kids...so what!?!?!?
And I DID grow up in a place where we had to keep our door locked!
I am a little more cautious than we were growing up, but I think that's partially due to living in a different world. We grew up in a small Mormon town where almost everyone knew each other. Here it's different. I'm glad one of my college roommates got me into the habit of locking the door even when I'm home.
And I agree, it's possible to have an experience that freaks you out a little. But I too would try and go with blognyms rather than private. I tried blognyms in the beginning, but it was too awkward and not my style.
Oh, and please don't take this personally if you have gone (or are planning on going)private. I do respect your decision, it's just frustrating, especially when there's no "real" reason for the privatizing.
I guess if google reader would allow subscriptions to private blogs you're allowed access to, I wouldn't mind so much.
I totally understand. I was thoroughly opposed to going private until just this year. And yes, I know it's a pain in the rear end when you can't check them on Google Reader. I'm not really a paranoid person, but after hearing from a cop that blogs are a major source of info for child predators, that kind of struck a chord. When I was 5 and 6 I was at my best friend's house a lot. Her dad worked nights, so even though her mom was there, he was also there a lot of the time. A few years later my mom was reading the newspaper and found his name in the crime reports having been arrested for child molestation. My mom thought she knew her parents pretty well and fortunately nothing ever happened to me, but from that I learned that you just never know. Now that Janelle is getting older (and the fact that she's a girl) and going more places without me, I just wanted to start taking a few precautions. Having our lives on our blog was just something I didn't want open to the public. So it was completely change our blog and make it less personal or make it private. I took the lazy way out and went the private way. Sorry about the inconvenience though!
P.S. Don't worry, I wasn't offended at all by your post. I think private blogs are a pain to check too! Google reader just needs to figure it out, right?
COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT BETTER!!
Yeah, if the reader could pick up private blogs I'd be less annoyed. You probably could figure out who I am from my blog, since I link to stuff with my real name, but I try to be careful. We have a separate blog about our kids and I don't link to it at all, so it's not connected to me in any way. And it's set not to show up on search engines, and we don't use their real names. I don't like paranoia without any sort of identifiable cause.
Laura, I have absolutely no data to prove this theory, but I would imagine that predators glean more info and find more victims through myspace. I would imagine police lump that in with blogs, but I think it's very different. The set up is such that it attracts a younger authorship than blogger or typepad.
If I had a child with a myspace account, I would definitely be more paranoid and monitor it like a hawk.
I guess since there are so many (blogger) blogs about so many things (like politics, food, crafts, etc.), it's a lot less likely that someone in YOUR area would find your blog with pictures of your kids and track you/them down. Maybe I'm just fooling myself into a false sense of security though.
I know I've toyed with the idea of going private, but this is what's kept me from doing so. I still want people to read what I write, and the odds of them doing that go way down without the convenience of being able to use a reader. Anyway, well said. And here's to keeping things public!
Someone needs to invent a program that can still pick up feeds from private blogs! Anyone?
I think that some people just aren't too excited about old boyfriends and rivals being able to find out so much about their current lives. But I definitely agree with you about the private thing being a pain.
Well tell us how you really feel!
I love checking in on old rivals and flames!
I'll give you one reason I've considered going private. No stalkers, but peers. I know, it sounds funny. But seriously, sometimes I make a post that I think is harmless and inevitably someone is offended. I've had to remove a few posts b/c of it. It's my blog I want to write whatever I want, I use it as a journal with pictures and plan to print it out. I was told by a friend to keep my blog "vanilla" so as not to offend anyone. Whatever. It just made me want to keep it private and not let anyone see it, just use if for me only (as a journal), it's fast and easy. But, since I haven't gone private and I don't want to hear the whole, "where are you?!" speech, I'll just keep removing my posts. Silly if you ask me. But there's another reason for you. :) Cuz I know you wanted it! hahaha
V-
I know what you mean. I am continually offending people unintentionally.
I hope people know I don't really expect others to agree with me. I like that we have differences of opinion. That's how God intended it.
I do use my blog as a journal, but I actually have a handwritten journal for things I don't want published in front of the world. (Surprising, I know. It seems like I tell all.) I don't write in it super frequently, but it's still a nice outlet.
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What are you talking about? I stock children. Just in case of emergency, you understand, but I have several boxes in the garage just in case, and I'm not picky as to whose they are.
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On a more serious note, however, I know a few teachers whose innocuous blogs have gotten them in trouble with parents and administration. The real reason most people I know go private is not stalkers, but to keep certain doors of their lives closed to certain people they know. Who wants their boss knowing they hate the office birthday party? Or the den mother to know you think her Scout troop is a waste of time? Etc.
Bahahahaha. I told you I stink at proof reading.
While I agree with you, th., the reason that most of my friends have given for going private is their children's safety.
Sorry, too many weirdos out there for me to list my kids and where I live. I have some darn-cute daughters, and there are just too many sickos who could take advantage of that. To each their own.
I go back and forth from private to public. When I have happened upon someone unintentionally, it weirds me out a bit. I realize that people could "happen upon me," and personally, I don't want everyone in the world knowing everything about me--especially about my kids. It's a smaller world that we all think sometimes. Why wouldn't you take precautions to protect your family?
So, since I am now private, please email me at jjaoee@gmail.com and I'll send you an invite (if I haven't before...can't remember, sorry!). Once you're signed in on Blogger, you can easily access the private blogs without having to sign in every time.
PS I had the weirdest dream about your brother, Brian, last night. How odd is that?
"Unless you have a very large lapse in judgement and put your address and phone number on your blog, people can't exactly track you down. So they look at pictures of your kids...so what!?!?!?"
That is a quote by erin. I haven't read all of the comments yet, but this one freaked me out. So what if they look at pictures of your kids, and maybe get obsessive about them? how old are your kids? Maybe you'd be shocked to know how many sex offenders live in your area. Look it up. (I was shocked to know a child rapist lives two streets away from my daughter's school, and multiple "prey-on-children" sex offenders live in our area--and we live in a REALLY NICE area.) If they are online and looking for people in their hometown, and you have your town listed (and your names--first and last, like a ton of people do), it may be all too easy to get to know intimate details about your children from your blog. They could know their nicknames, what they did yesterday, what they like and don't like, what their siblings names are, etc. All a perp has to do is look you up in the phone book and then find out where your kids go to school. They could oh-so-easily endear themselves to your kids by knowing so many intimate details. It would be easy for someone to gain trust, now wouldn't it? Think about it.
Personally, I'd rather protect my kids.
I like happening on peoples' blogs. I don't mind them happening on mine. It's one of the things I like most about blogging actually.
And I understand peoples' concern, though I find it too paranoid for my taste. I wouldn't mind people going private so much if I could use google reader for their blogs.
I also wish there was a way to ask for an invite to private blogs when you don't have their email address.
You make some good points about the first and last name. I never list my hometown, but it probably is better not to list both names. So I will now just use initials for the links.
I don't like to be paranoid, either, and I consider myself cautious and protective rather than paranoid. ;) I suppose our ideas about these type of things may have to do with some of our experiences in life. To be honest, mine have not all been pleasant. And personally knowing people who have been sexually molested freaks me out, too. People aren't open about this type of thing, but I sat in on a trial for a man who was beloved in the community and was a local pastor. Too bad he was molesting girls for 10 years, the same girls who were buddies with his three daughters and his own neighbors. It was disgustingly shocking and appalling. It's enough to make anyone think twice about who they expose their children to.
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