Owning up

Over at Hollywood Flakes, my friend Hollywood issued a challenge today to own up to our securities. Sometimes it's hard to say "I'm great!" and to embrace our own brilliance. It's much easier to say, "Oh, I'm pretty good at..." or "I'm not a bad..." or "I'm decent, but so-and-so is SO much better." Often times I think we do it for self preservation. I mean, how many people really want to be best buds with the person who's constantly blathering on about their superiority? It's also hard to say "I'm great!" when we see so many other great people and compare ourselves. But your greatness doesn't undermine my greatness! We can all be crackerjacks together.

Since I'm pretty good (okay, okay. Scratch that.) Since I'm GREAT at knowing my strengths and weaknesses, today I will break the bragging barrier and go for it. But before I lose you all because of my securities, I'll throw in some of my insecurities as well so you can feel secure that I am just a regular gal. ;)

Securities: I am so smrt. S-M-R-T

• I am a great cook. Growing up my mom taught me how to read a recipe, so I've always been a decent cook, but I have to say that I have grown leaps and bounds in this area in the last 5 years. Cooking at New Haven was probably the best thing I could have done (short of culinary school) to improve my skills. Cooking 2 meals a day, 5 days a week for 25-35 people (all by myself) for 2 1/2 years did the trick.
• I am a great teacher. The majority of my employment has had to do with teaching. I've taught piano since I was in 8th grade. Then there was my China trip where I taught English. And I was a TA most of my college years where I had to explain course concepts. My FAVORITE church calling ever was teaching Relief Society. I also love giving talks in church. As a teacher, I think I do well at assessing where my students are and then work with them at that level.
• I am a great student. I comprehend concepts quickly and I am quite studious. Oddly enough, I've had a reoccurring dream recently where I stop going to one of my classes half way through the semester and end up flunking it. Horrible.
  
• I am a great wife. Perfect wife? No. Great wife? Yes. Seriously, sometimes I think, "Man he's got it good!" haha.
  
• I have the potential to be excellent at the piano and music. I'd say I'm already a great piano player, but not nearly as good as I used to be nor as good as I could be if I were to practice more.
  
• I'm quite the harmonizer. I remember surprising people as a little child (4th grade? younger?) in church choir belting out the alto line correctly. Block and contrapuntal (sight reading in harmony) was the main thing that got me to All-State choir 3 years.
• I remember people, names, and faces quite well.
  

Insecurities: The "I am not so great at..." part

• While I love a clean house, I have a hard time putting things back or away immediately, so clutter ensues. Paper clutter is my worst because I really do hate filing. I often carry things around and leave them in random places, so I tend to misplace things a lot.
  
• I totally stink at job interviews. TOTALLY STINK! My mind goes blank. I am not quick at thinking up personal examples for their questions. I am not good at talking myself up (I know! After all those cool things I said about myself earlier you'd think I'd have no trouble! But how many employers really care that I've taught piano lessons since I was in 8th grade, graduated 5th in my HS or that I can make some tasty grub?) The absolute worst answer I ever gave to the question, "why should we hire you over the other candidates?" was "I don't know. I'm sure they're all very qualified too." Are you kidding me?!? Why would I say something so totally dumb? That was one of my first interviews and I made sure I had a better answer after that.
  
• At the moment I feel very insecure in my ability to respond with appropriate timing rather than rush in and rescue Dean when he's crying. How long is too long? How long is not long enough? Is he going to be an insecure little boy because I am inept at deciphering his cries? WILL HE EVER LEARN HOW TO GO TO SLEEP WITHOUT CRYING UP A STORM????
  
• I am NOT detail oriented unless I really make myself. Even then, I know I miss things. Matt is super detail oriented. He constantly amazes me with his observational prowess.
  
• Though I'm a terrific student, I do not retain random information well unless I find it very interesting or very important. I'll keep it in my mind as long as I need it (i.e. until a test), and then it just goes the way of the world. Luckily I pick it up again easily.
• I'm horrible at sending cards. Thank you cards, birthday cards and anniversary cards are sent out next to never. Mother's day and Father's day cards are generally sent on that particular day (therefore arrive late). Christmas cards are the only time I manage to get cards out.
• I definitely don't shave my legs often enough. ESPECIALLY in the winter. That's why one day I'll have laser hair removal. That will be awesome.

By the way, these pictures are 12 weeks postpartum. The first one I am more secure about.
I need a hair cut. Oy.