Looking up

You know, life is looking up for me these days. It's a little ironic I'm writing this on a day that both of my kids have had low grade temps and one of them puked all over his bed at nap time. (update: today I found out they had/have hand, foot, mouth disease that caused the fevers and stuff.)  But I mean, overall, I'm feeling more content with life.

Dean's behavior has improved dramatically this past month. He has generally been very kind, helpful, grateful, and has started treating Walter like a playmate.  His whines and tantrums have subsided substantially, and he generally only lashes out (hitting) when he's really tired or sick.

Having no family or close friends nearby has been one of the biggest drawbacks for me living here in TX. (The one good friend I had from the get go moved away then moved back, but not as close, so we don't get together enough!) However, after 5 years of living here, I finally feel like I have some other solid,comfortable friendships. I have a great running partner. I have a good friend I can call for play dates. And I have been invited to some girls' nights recently (outside of church stuff).

After doing my half marathon, I feel very motivated. I felt so good doing it, and it made me want to keep setting goals and working for something specific rather than just running the same thing over and over every day. My running partner is signed up to do a full marathon in UT in September. I'll probably do a lot of the training with her, though I won't run that race. I'm more interested in doing a triathlon sprint next. There's one in Plano on labor day that I might just do. Before I decided to do a tri, I bought a mountain bike at a yard sale for cross training, but after riding it, I realize I really need something much lighter and all around better if I want to race.  I hadn't ridden a bike in over 15 years, and I've never ridden a gear bike before last week, so I am a complete novice!!! I've been stalking craigslist to see if I can find a decent bike in my price range.

I was starting to feel a little burned out on craft projects, so after Matt finished tiling, I'm feeling like I want to get our house put back together and better than ever. Rather than crafting, my time and efforts have been going toward organizing, decluttering, and cleaning out house. I have felt so happy with myself since this is NOT my strong suit. I bought a download for a cleaning system (printable) 2 weeks ago, and I've really liked it overall. It's cute little cards that break my day up into 3 pieces with each day designated to a different cleaning task. I have it sitting on my desk in a business card holder stand (without the rings that she has on hers). I like the look of the cards, and for the most part I like how the days are organized. I would add a few things and split up a few things if I were to make it myself (and I probably will when I feel like I get my cleaning style figured out), but it has been good for me nonetheless.  My house has been way cleaner the past 2 weeks.

I got my hair cut today, and I love that I have a husband who understands my need for short hair! I nearly went pixie short, but I like how a-line bobs grow out better. Maybe later in the summer I'll go pixie. The purple pics were taken about a month ago (by Dean), and the green were taken tonight.

It's exhausting being awesome

(This was written last Saturday night, but I didn't add the pics until today.)



Ok, I'm not sure where that title actually came from. I'm just exhausted from this week. I know some of you have way more stressful lives with work, sports, music, etc. I'm just glad that parenting is a gradual transition because what I did this week exhausted me.

I taught preschool, which was fun (minus a few stressful moments of Dean bullying other kids since he didn't want them playing with his things).  I had Q and R again even though I had them last semester. We have 5 kids now, so that threw off the rotation.

For Q we:

• Played a question game where kids hunted for 1 red, 1 blue, and 1 yellow question mark I'd taped up around the living room. They came back to the quilt and I "journaled" their answers to the questions. All of the blue question marks were blank and I had them ask me a question. This was far more successful that I imagined it would be. They were very intrigued by the question marks all over the place. I also played "question/not a question" where I'd either ask a question or say a statement. If it was a question they'd hold up a question mark and say "question!" if it wasn't, they'd hold up their arms in an X and say "not a question!" The older two kids really liked this. The three younger kids were a little confused by it.
• Made paper quilts where you glue patterned squares of paper onto a big sheet of paper. Dean was so proud of his. He carried it around all day until he could show Matt when he got home. He wanted to sleep with it, but I convinced him that hanging it on his wall would be good enough.
• Sewed with plastic needles and yarn in a loosely crocheted quilt. This was stroke of genius on my part I think.
• Ate Quakes rice snacks
• Q listening game. Once again, the older two (4 year olds) really got it, but the 3's not so much
• hide the quarters in the flour (it was supposed to be cut the quarter, but no one was cooperating and they were all enjoying playing in the flour. It was a huge mess, but it took a good chunk of time and the kids loved it).

For R we:

Blast off!

• Made toilet paper rockets by painting toilet paper tubes with glue, covered them with foil and stickers, made the tip out of a crushed cone of foil, and fire out of red tissue paper
• Balloon rockets, definitely the most popular activity of the day. I had 6 strings tied to our garden and taped to our house. Each had a straw piece on it. I taped a big balloon onto it and closed it with a mini clothes pin. We counted down and the opened the clothespins and the balloons rocketed down the string. They had me blow up their balloons 4 or 5 times.
• Water bottle rocket that Matt helped me make. I got one good launch off, but the kids wanted to help and touch and crowd too much after that. I got one more rocket off after the kids left, and the bottle ended up in our neighbor's yard. Oops.
• We collected "moon rocks" on our rocket trip to the moon (our sand box with decorative rocks I got from the dollar store)
• glued planets to a black piece of paper so we had a solar system to explore. 

Additionally this week I fed three missionaries. It's amazing how different Elders are than Sisters. We've had sisters so long in our ward and they just switched to Elders. SOOOO different it was funny. I fed them Israeli Couscous with grilled vegetables, chicken satays, hummus and pita chips, and a tomato/cuc. salad. They had no clue what anything was, but they did a decent job of trying/eating everything. I always try and do something "different" because I'm  so afraid they'll be fed the same thing over and over.  Even in reference to the salad, one Elder said, "Well, I recognize cucumbers and tomatoes, but I don't know what that green stuff is on top." When I said it was dill he said, "Hu, that's not something I've ever cooked with!" =)

Tonight I accompanied 2 girls at their high school band solo festival. It was hard to prepare with my kids begging me to stop playing, shutting the piano cover, crying, trying to play over the top of me etc.  In the end it turned out ok (not fantastic, but I did only have 1 week to learn the music). The worst part was having to play on an electric piano at the festival since the stupid music holder doesn't easily allow for more than 3 sheets. I actually had one sheet fall on one of the girl's song. Oops. I was shocked at how much more difficult it was to accompany instruments than vocalists. I was happy I had an electric piano at home so I could practice with them since my piano is 1 1/2 notes lower than concert! Also, lyrics are way easier to follow and accommodate for mistakes than another set of notes! One was a bass clarinet. One was a flute. I don't think I'll be doing it again next year if anyone asks! I am just so glad it's over and I think I'm ok with this not being my phase of life right now. Maybe when kids are older.

Also, I have decided to run a half marathon in May. It's practically the only Saturday race in TX, and I figure if I'm going to do it, now's the time since I'm not pregnant or breastfeeding.  Last week our long run was 6 mi. and we kept a decent pace of 9 min. miles. Today we had a 5K run at race pace. I felt good about our 8.3 min. miles. It was so hot today I went through all my fuel belt water even though it was a "short" run. I don't know how I ever ran without water.  It's amazing to think that I consider 3 miles a short run now! It so used to be my max.

This pic has no relevance to the post, but I just loaded it on my computer. It was St. Patrick's day and the boys are wearing the rainbow hats we made at our party.

Life

As you can tell by the title (and the infrequent posts), I'm not feeling extra creative in my writing. As I mentioned awhile ago, I started a craft blog with my best friends from college. While it's only been a few weeks, it's been fun and craftingly motivating so far. This month I have made: a child's apron, child's tool belt, birthday cards and an organizer for them, and 3 tag blankets. Oh, and I made a 104 pg. blurb book of Dean's first year, but I'm still trying to edit it before I get it printed.

This past week was Walt's worst week yet, poor kid. He started getting fussy last Thursday. He's normally such a content little guy. And then it continued. And it got worse. He kept throwing up in his mouth and swallowing, gagging and choking during and after feedings, looked like he was in a lot of pain when eating, and was HORRIBLY fussy and pained after waking up from naps. His night sleep was interrupted badly as well. I tried stopping solids since I thought it might be a food allergy, but it persisted and got worse. I ended up taking him in to get medicine for reflux and I was determined not to leave without a prescription (the nurse over the phone just told me to feed him rice cereal before his nursings and to keep him upright for an hour after every feeding--including night feedings!--and I just wasn't going to accept that. He was in too much pain.) He's had medicine for 2 days now and is mostly back to his content self. I am trying to keep him upright after feedings and we elevated the head of his bed a little so he's not laying flat. I can't tell you how glad I was to get a smile from him after 5 days of pained grimaces!

Dean's having a hard time adjusting his sleep. He's been waking up between 6-6:30 the past two weeks. He takes a nap at nap time about every three days. I know he still needs it because he has fallen asleep on the couch 3 or 4 times around 4:30 the past few. If he doesn't take a nap he's in bed by 7. If he does, it's about 7:30 or so. I don't know what I'm going to do with him come day light savings! I will NOT get up with him at 5 or 5:30! That's where I draw the line...

We had a simple Valentine's Day celebration awhile back. I made heart shaped mini meatloaves that didn't turn out as well I would have liked. I got my meat at a different place, and I think the pork was a different blend and tougher. Ah well. I did make my classic cheesecake and Matt got me gerbera daisies, the longest running traditions we have (dating back to 2003). The cheesecake was really quite divine, if I do say so myself. My best yet. I used the base of Chantal's New York Cheesecake and Betty Crocker's graham crack crust recipe. A water bath. It was consistently cooked from center to edges, and the consistency was perfect. I was happy. We gave half of it away, though, since we just don't need a whole cheesecake!

My Valentines

And what about you, Celia?

I've been thinking a lot recently about the Anne of Green Gables books that I read last year. After reading Anne of Ingleside I remember thinking, it really shouldn't have been named Anne of Ingleside because it was more about her kids than her. Now I understand. When you're a mom (at least with little kids, and especially for a stay at home mom like me), much of your identity is wrapped up in your kids.

(Just so you know, I read them when I was pregnant with Walt, and that's actually where I first saw the name Walter - one of Anne's kids- and started considering it. Matt doesn't know that though.)

In 2006 I started this blog because I felt like my mind was getting too "soft" after graduating college. I wanted to write interesting things for people to read. My blog has turned more into a child brag blog and/or mommy venting session, but I don't mind too much. That's where I am in life, and this is now more of a journal than a literary venture. Hopefully I'm not too terribly boring, but if I am, at least I occasionally have pictures and videos, right? =)

Six months after having Walt, I wanted to check in on where I am in life.

At 28 (almost 29) years and after 2 kids I:

wanted to post a good picture of me but unfortunately don't have one! I guess I take all the pictures around here.

spend most of my time doing something for someone else be it my kids, my husband, or church. edit: I guess I shouldn't have included this, because as I think on it, almost everyone spends most of their lives doing things for other people be it employers, family, etc.

am still 5'3" (since 6th grade)

weigh between 122-127 depending on the time of day and if I'm clothed or not.

don't have as flat as a tummy as I used to. Need to work on pulling my muscles back up and in.

bought pants for the first time in 5 years. I had NO clue what size I really was. According to Old Navy, I'm a 4 in fit and flare and a 2 (what the?!?!?!) in boot leg and capris. I've never, ever been able to fit my legs/booty in a size 4. Ever. Don't tell me if their sizing is different from all other stores. I don't want to know. =) edit: While I fit size 4 and 2 I actually bought size 6 and 4's. After wearing them for 1/2 a day, though I realized with the bit of stretch in them I should have gotten a size smaller because they're looser than I want. Not bad looking though.

go to sleep between 10:30-12 if I don't have insomnia

have insomnia (meaning it takes me longer than 45 min. to fall asleep) at least once a week

finally feel like I'm getting over my postpartum mess

am starting a crafting blog with some of my best friends from college (so excited!!)

want to train for a 1/2 marathon as well as run the Snowflake 24th of July 10K

just purchased Brooks Adrenaline running shoes (size 7 1/2 wide) after trying 3 pairs of Asics that just didn't fit my foot.

want to buy a Tike Tech Sport Twin or a Baby Jogger Performance Double very badly

have no "mad money" to buy a jogger because ALL of my piano students dropped after my semester break I took with Walt. Most were for economic reasons. Some moved. Some switched to a teacher who could go to their house.

have dusted off my sewing machine and might just start an etsy shop to try and earn a little mad money. scary.

almost never turn on the TV anymore. Matt and I watch a few shows (Burn Notice, Heroes, The Office, Chuck) on his computer on the weekends, but other than that, I rarely watch a show on the day it airs. Leno most days. Don't know if I'll continue to watch him once he's back at the Late Show hours. Just too late.

read scriptures online now. It's nice to have conference talks, hyperlinked cross-references, institutes manuals, teacher manuals, etc. all in one place.

have given up paper crafting scrapbooks in favor of blurb photo books.

think we'll end up having at least 4 kids. Even with all of my craziness, I feel like there are more kids to come, and I do mean kids, plural. We'll see, though.

realized I'll never have that "out of a magazine" house. I'm not a good enough house keeper/organizer/decorator/shopper. Oh well. It's at least a comfortable and inviting house.

still wonder if I shouldn't just switch to cloth diapers. Why does this still plague me?? I thought I had my answer and it was to stay with disposables for ease and husband help. My only answer is that maybe the spirit is telling me I need to get prepared for some future where it's a necessity. Am I just ignoring a spiritual prompting?

know I spend too much money on groceries.

don't read as many books as I'd like. I go in spurts.

own 6 pairs of shoes. 3 are Sunday shoes. 2 are running shoes. 1 pair is a "cute" shoe that I bought 6 or 7 years ago that doesn't fit my foot all that well and is tall and not comfortable when toting a baby around. I'm in DESPERATE need of cute/comfortable every day shoes. I'm currently using my old running shoes. edit: I forgot I have pool flip flops and a pair of sandals.

am trying to cut most sugar treats out of my life. Sugar's been doing weird things to my hormones and emotions. Most of the time I do really well and am happy with it. Then every once in awhile I get a hankering to make cookies (and memories) with Dean. I eat about 5-6 cookies in the batch over a couple days and get all sugared out again. Overall I don' t think that's a bad way to live.

want to buy a wheat grinder and do all or most of my own flour making. Currently looking at a Nutrimill on ebay that's ending in a few days.

am trading babysitting with a friend so Matt and I (and she and her husband) can go out on dates more often. I went there last week and she's here tomorrow for the first time. I think we'll do it once a month.

That's about it. If I think of other things I may update it just for my journaling purposes.

Finally finished!

My gigantic Christmas project is now complete. And now I can go to bed. Thank heavens.

Ain't that somethin'

I started off my "new life" today with a bang. Walt had one of his worst night's sleep EVER last night. I got myself to bed by 10:35 and was able to fall asleep before 11 even though Matt had a hockey game to watch and wasn't with me. Then starting about 12 or 1 Walt woke up about every hour or so. And then at 4 something he decided he was up for the day. He's never done that. We let him talk it out for awhile, I tried to feed him, we let him scream for awhile, Matt rocked him, we let him scream a little more and just as I got up to rock/feed him about 6, I hear Dean crying and walking toward our room telling us to turn the light on. He's never done that. I tried to tell him it wasn't time to get up yet. I tried to coax him into bed with Dad even. But no, he just wanted to sit with me as I was trying to get Walt back asleep. By 6:30 I gave up and took both boys out so Matt could sleep a little.

Then as I was running later this morning, there was a short part I had to run on unpaved ground. My foot caught a hole and buckled under me. I didn't think it was that bad. It didn't hurt much and I even ran home on it. The majority of the day it felt very minor. And then around 4 I tried putting shoes on to go run errands. Ouch! And from there it's just gotten progressively worse. I have to limp and it's kind of difficult to cart Walt around on it.

Ah well. Such is life. At least crazy Celia didn't make an appearance today despite the obstacles.

As for my injury and exercising, well, I'm hoping I can do yoga on it. If not I guess I'll get a start on my killer abs and leg lifts till it gets better. =)

Getting my life back

Well, yes, I have been busy recently, mainly I've been doing a lot of family history stuff. All of those other crafting things I wanted to do? Swept by the wayside. However, that's only a little part of why I haven't posted much this month.

I've really been struggling to keep crazy Celia contained the last couple of months. My emotions have been all over the place. Some days and some moments I feel totally normal, fine, sane. Other moments and days I'm sitting on the couch in tears, feeling too tired and overwhelmed to deal with Walt screaming and Dean doing some normal 2 year old thing. I have felt profoundly lonely the last couple of months. I have been very aware of my physical distance from family and old friends, and I don't have the deep connections and friendships yet here that I really have been needing and longing for. It's so much harder to make those deep connections when you don't live with the people. Don't get me wrong. I have a lot to be thankful for. I have lots and lots of happy moments and days. But I've just had waaaayyyy more lonely/crazy days and moments than I care for.

Other things that factor in to my craziness: I have been pretty sleep deprived the last 4 months. And not just "nursing newborn" sleep deprived. It's that, plus we go to bed way too late, plus stupid insomnia once we get to bed. I often don't fall asleep until 2 am and then am up again around 7am when the boys wake up. I am pretty much running on fumes most days.

This morning crazy Celia was in full swing. Matt woke up to me sitting on the couch crying with Dean sitting on my lap (I was trying to get pants and shoes on him to go outside, but he was evading me) and Walt was lying on a blanket scream talking since he was tired of being ignored (and he skipped his nap, adding to my and his frustration). After a little crying and talking with Matt, he suggested I go take a run while he stay with the boys.

So I went. While I was gone, there were a number of things that came to my head about what I need to do to get my life back. First I tried to identify my problem: was it just lack of sleep? postpartum depression? pms? Then I decided it didn't really matter at this point. Before I get any sort of chemical or professional help, I realized there are common sense things that I have to do to take care of myself that might take care of my problems. I mentally made a list of things I need to change and can reasonably change. When I got home I wrote down a list of 10.

Common sense things I need to do to get out of this funk:
1. Exercise 5 days a week. At least 1/2 hour, preferably by myself, but with the boys if need be.

• This means I'll need to get up around 6 am before the boys, work out after they go to bed, have Matt stay with them (on weekend/holidays), and/or get a double jogging stroller.

2. Eat 3 real meals a day.

• Lunch has been a real struggle for me because I've been getting Dean's lunch, feeding Walt, putting Dean down for a nap, and then Walt needs a nap. By that time I'm pretty exhausted and I end up choosing nap over food. I'll generally get a snack or have a shake once I wake up since it's around 2 by then.

3. Drink enough water.

• I used to be really good about this. I just get side tracked with the boys and forget.

4. Eat enough fruits and vegetables.

• This corresponds with #2. I need to make a big salad with lunch every day and eat fruits instead of other sugars in the evening.

5. Read scriptures and/or the Ensign at least 1/2 hour every day.

• Right now I read scriptures right before bed. I don't mind reading at night, but I need to start earlier since I end up only reading anywhere from 1 chapter to 15 min. max.

6. Make a detailed schedule for the week, post it on my wall, and stick to it.

• Having a goal and direction will help me as much as I like freedom and flexibility. I know I don't use my time as well as I should.

7. Go to bed by 10 and absolutely no later than 10:30. Even if I am having a hard time shutting my mind off.

8. Cut out most refined sugars. Absolutely no candy (yes, even over Christmas). If there is a homemade holiday dessert, that's ok, but limit myself to small portions.

9. Take a break from FB for a little while.

• I could explain this, but I'd rather not.
  

10. Go on an "out of the house" date with Matt AT LEAST once a month. Check into trading babysitting with another couple.

• We have probably gone on less than 5 dates this whole year, including trips to the temple. That has really added to my loneliness. Walt's getting to the point where we'd be able to leave after about 7:30 or 8 and not worry about him waking up till after 11 or 12 or so. (He just woke up and is crying as I type this, though. =P)

So, that's what I need to do for starters. (That and get a blessing from Matt.) It needs to not be talk. I have to make real, long term changes. I'm sick of crazy Celia. She needs to go.

Waiting for the fog to lift

Do you ever have those days/weeks/months where there seems to be a fog clouding up your mind and you can't seem to process things very quickly? This week kind of feels like that. I'm guessing it's from the classic combo of sleep deprivation and sickness, but I'm wanting to be done with it. My cold's finally leaving and Matt finished his big Warhammer painting project last night, so maybe we can get to bed at a reasonable time.

Rejuvinated and redeemed

I am very thankful that I'm feeling back to normal today. The last couple of days I've felt 2 1/2 parts crazy to 1/2 part sane. My "normal" is probably 2 1/2 parts sane to 1/2 part crazy, so I was really thrown for a loop. I don't know if it was postpartum hormonal issues, lack of sleep, or both, but man. I felt like I was living in crazy land in my head. I couldn't even get myself to make dinner the last two nights!

But today I felt much better when I woke up. I made some delicious blueberry muffins for breakfast (recipe soon to come to my other blog); I did the big "restock" shopping trip I've been putting off since I had Walt; I rearranged a couple cupboards to accommodate for the new food; I'm close to finishing up folding a mountain of laundry; I cleaned Dean's bathroom; I made a great dinner (mini meatloaves, garlic and rosemary mashed potatoes, sauteed zucchini and mushrooms) ; I had an enjoyable day with my boys. I still need to do dinner dishes and put away said clothes, but all in all it's been a much, much better day.

Now for my redemption. I once confessed that meatloaf is one of those foods I just can't ever get right. Well I got it right tonight! I am convinced that I was just trying a whole lot of crappy recipes because this one was easy and DELICIOUS! It's slightly more time consuming than regular meatloaf, but the extra step is well worth it. I followed the recipe exactly (well, as exactly as I can which is not exactly exactly, but pretty darned close.) This is a keeper for sure. Matt liked it and said he'll even take it in his lunch tomorrow as a leftover. The consistency was great. The taste was great. Dean ate it really well. I am redeemed.

That could have gone better

After Matt left this morning Dean, Walt and I headed to the eye doctor for a follow up. I tried out contacts last week (word to the wise, it can be relatively expensive to have a contact fitting and your insurance may not cover it! wish I would have known that before hand.) since I'm so sick of Dean ripping my glasses off my face or bending them improperly and nearly breaking them.

I haven't worn contacts exlusively since my senior year of high school. I've barely even worn them intermittently because my eyes just don't care much for them. Since I have astigmatism regular contacts don't fit quite right, plus, even in night and day (the easiest on the eyes), my eyes get really red by the end of the day. I tried toric (sp?) this time and they fit better, but my eyes still got really red and very tired by the end of the day.

I decided contacts were not for me so I started looking at frames since my prescription has changed a little. Luckily Walt slept most of the time because Dean was a handful and a half! You'd have thought I'd pumped him full of coffee and doughnuts for breakfast or something. He was all over. Opening cupboards, pulling down glasses, sitting in all the chairs he wasn't supposed to. I successfully distracted him for about 2 min. with a puzzle and a calculator and a succor, but he wasn't having any of it after that. At one point I put him on my lap and held him. He started screaming so I continued to hold him and covered his mouth. He started going ballistic. Walt woke up and started crying. I saw the lady helping me with my glasses glance up at the lady behind the counter with the, "poor lady, wish I could help" look. I was one of those moms with one of those kids. You know, the kind that you hope doesn't show up at your place of work. Luckily I wasn't screaming at him, though I did give him a little swat at one point and tried to make him have a time out sitting in a corner. That didn't prove very successful.

To make matters worse, I am one of the most indecisive people on the planet. I was able to narrow my choices down to two. Do I go for the one that's covered completely? Or do I go for one that I'll have to pay to get the flex ridge? Do I go for the regular lenses that are covered by insurance that will be thick and ugly, or do I go for the more expensive thin lenses that I'll have to pay for? By the time I got to that point, I couldn't concentrate because I had two crying kids, so I told them I'd just come back next week with my husband so he could help me decide. Ugh.

I let Dean play in the front of the car (something he begs to do multiple times a day) while nursed Walt in the parking lot so we could go straight to the store. I mean, not much else you can do when you're out of diapers and milk. They did ok at Target, but it was a shoddy shopping trip and when I got home I realised I forgot bread and a few other somewhat necessary items.

This afternoon after naps we're heading north of us to a woman's house who runs an online cloth diaper store. They keep their inventory at their house so she said I could come by and look before I buy. Walt just goes through diapers too fast. I'm spending about $10 every 3-4 days!! I use about 10-12 diapers a day for him. Since you can just throw diapers directly in the wash for exlusively breastfed babies, I think I'm going to make the switch at least until we introduce solids around 5 or 6 mo. Maybe I'll even stick with it with Walt after that. Who knows. Anyway, I hope that goes a little better than the doctor's visit this morning!

The last 10 years

I missed my 10 year reunion today. Unlike my 5 year (which I didn't attend), I really wanted to go to this reunion. It's hard for me to believe that it's been 10 years since I graduated from High School.



Since I couldn't be there in person to share my past 10 years, I thought I'd do a little recap here.


Fall 1999

• Took the 1/2 tuition scholarship at BYU over the full scholarship at BYU-Hawaii so I could hang with my sister Julie.
• Worked at the Education LRC 20 hrs/week and took lots of credits.
  

2000

• Started dating Matt (my now husband). We met in our freshman ward and had Sharing the Gospel class together. I pursued him.

• Lost my scholarship with a 3.52 GPA. Darned biology and Psych 111!!
• Participated in Miss Navajo County Pageant for the second time. Was totally bummed I didn't make as much money as the year before.
• Sent Matt off on a mission to PA
  
• Lived with the best set of roommates ever. Was crazy busy with school and work (TA for Child Dev. 210).
  

2001

• Went through the Temple and received my endowments.
  
• Lived in China 6 months teaching English & wrote Matt weekly. Can I say AWESOME???

• TA'd for Child Development again. Lots and lots of reading and grading papers.

• Lived with my friend Lisa in her family's basement and traded part of my rent for teaching piano to two of her sisters.

2002

• Tried going to TX to sell energy for the summer and was thwarted by Enron. Ended up in VA with my sister Julie and her family. Waitressed and made pretty decent money.
• Went to England for a week to visit my sister Amanda and her family while her husband attended Oxford.

• Matt came home from his mission. We dated. I bought my wedding dress (without him knowing it) 2 months before he asked me to marry him!

• TA'd for Child Dev. again. Took lots of credits.
• Received 2 different scholarships that covered almost all of my tutition!! Woot!

2003

• Got engaged very end of Feb.

• Got married very beginning of May. (Yep. 2 months later! I NEEDED a short engagement!)

• Sold Dish Network in Reno with Matt. We made decent money though we both stink at sales.
• TA'd for Child Dev. and Moral Foundations of the Family (with Dr. Olson.)
• Took lots of Spanish classes for my minor.
• Kept my 2 scholarships.

2004

• Took an unpaid internship as staff at New Haven, a residential treatment center for teenage girls. Worked about 30 hours a week (including commute). Was totally stressed.
• Graduated BYU! Majored in Marriage Family and Human Development and minored in Spanish.
  
• Took a full time job cooking (instead of staffing) at New Haven. Really upped my cooking abilities!! Cooked (and shopped, and planned, etc.) about 7-8 hours/day for about 25-30 people 5 days a week.

Summer 2004 - Summer 2006

• Continued cooking at New Haven while Matt finished up school.
• Went to Guatemala for one of our anniversaries.

2006

• Moved to TX and bought a house
  
• Had a hard time finding a full time job. Took some random part time jobs.
• Met some friends and had some fun.

2007 - Present

• Had Dean and have loved being a stay at home mom the last (almost) 2 years!

• I'm 10 days away from having another little boy.

Some people just have issues

You remember our fence issues? Well, after pricing it out and having 5-6 companies give us estimates, we found a company. They weren't the cheapest nor the most expensive, but they seemed the most professional and thorough. We decided to get the rot board on the bottom and have them stain it, so for our 130' of fencing it's going to cost us $3969 total. Not a small chunk of change. Plus, half has to be paid up front when they start and the other half has to be paid upon completion. So, it's not like we're financing this or anything.

One of the two sections we're replacing is totally ours since it's the front of our house facing the street.

Originally I thought the other section of the fence was totally our neighbor's responsibility. I figured that whatever side the posts were signified ownership of the fence. I was wrong and found out that it is legally a shared fence. I know this because the last time we had fence issues and received a letter from our HOA, I double checked legal responsibility. It was discovered that it was a shared fence, so they then sent her the same letter they sent us. After she got the letter saying the fence needed fixing, she came over and went off on this rampage about how it's not her fence and she'd had fence problems in her back yard and the people sharing the fence wouldn't help and blah, blah, blah. I tried to be really nice and non-defensive. By the time she left she had diffused a little bit and later when Matt was fixing the fence, she came out to see if he needed any help. Finally, I thought we were on the same page (or at least close to it) about the legality of the shared fence.

Before we got the fence replaced this time, I thought it would be best to run it by her, especialy since we'll be staining it. Anyway, I tried going over and chatting with her, but no one was home. So I made a copy of the estimate invoice and wrote a little note on the back. I explained we were getting the fence replaced and that it was a little more expensive than we expected. I let her know that the shared fence portion was costing us $1736. I tried to keep it from sounding like we expected them to pay half for that section, but that anything that they could contribute would be greatly appreciated. I gave her my number and said if she had any questions or concerns to either call or come by.

Tonight while I was out, Matt received a nasty call from her. She went through the same things she did the last time, claiming it wasn't her fence because of the positioning of her house, so she shouldn't be responsible for anything. Matt explained that according to the platt that it was legally a shared fence. He said that we can't force her to pay anything, but that seeing as though it was a shared fence and bordered her yard, it would be nice if she could help with something. She was defensive and belligerant until they hung up. So no help there. Honestly, we wouldn't have blinked an eye if she called and said, "You know, I really wish I could help you out, but I'm really strapped right now." But her tone and quarrelsome nature make it so much more annoying. Especially since we've been through this before with her.

The funny thing is, she was soooo mad about her back door neighbor not helping when their shared fence needed to be fixed. Um, hello lady. Don't you see you're doing the same exact thing?

Summer days

We've had two great days in a row. Yesterday was just packed full of fun.

6:30 -7:45 Got up with Dean, gave him milk, made us oatmeal, saw dad off to work
8-9 Walked to the park and played until I got too hot
10:30-10:45 Library
11-12 Pool
1-2:30 Nap for Dean while I made some low sugar blueberry jam
3:30-4 Errands
4-5:30 Dean played with Susie (he calls her Suzu) and I visited with Alexis (my awesomely organized friend)
5:45-6:15 Dinner
6:45-7 Scriptures, teeth brushing, prayers, and bed time for Dean
7-9 Tried organizing our files while I watched SYTYCD. The only judge I ever listen to anymore is Nigel. I mute everyone else and it helped me focus and get more done.
9-10 Relaxed
10-11:45 Cleaned up, watched Conan (still sad Leno's gone), read scriptures, and went to bed


This morning hasn't been quite as packed, but we had lots of fun at the pool. We met a couple friends there, so that's always fun.

Dean was the most adventurous I've ever seen him! I bought some water toys and that really helped keep him entertained. He also ventured to play in the fountains rather than just touch them with his hand. He still wasn't too keen on the idea of his feet coming off the ground when he got too deep, but he was more content to stay in the shallow end because of his new toys. I also experimented and tried to get him showered and dressed for the day there, and it worked out decently. Note to self: remember to bring "no tears" shampoo because it's really, really hard to wash the soap out of his hair in the shower without getting it in his eyes. I used his little watering can and that helped, but it was still hard. He was a real champ at the pool though.

I really love the good days.

Some days just don't go as planned

It's 2PM and I'm finally feeling human. Last night I was determined to clean the day away today. I'm getting sick of seeing the grime on my fridge doors and bathroom sinks.

But then I woke up today, and BOY was I tired. Almost non-functionally tired. I had tears of tiredness in my eyes as Matt left for work. After he left, I made Dean and me some waffles at Dean's request. They were blueberry waffles and Dean just picked out all the blueberries and ate those. (Though he did eat a waffle for lunch that he pulled off the counter after we got home.) By the time we ate and I got the kitchen cleaned up it was 10. Dean wanted to go to the park really badly so I got us dressed and stepped out the door. We made it about 1/2 a block before I turned back home. Yahoo weather says it was 85*. My body said it was at least 90*.

I just couldn't take that mile walk and 1-1 1/2 hour of play at the park in that kind of weather at 33 weeks pregnant.

So I came back home, got us dressed for the pool and by 11 we were "swimming". I use that term loosely. Dean is not yet a water baby. Oh, he LOVES playing in sinks and with watering cans and drinking from the spigot, but he is a little afraid of getting his whole body wet at once. The pool we go to is less than 4 ft. deep at its deepest. It has a nice shallow area with little fountains. For some reason he wants to wander the whole pool and gets thoroughly freaked out (shrieks and screams..sometimes with a terrified smile...sometimes not) when his life jacket picks his feet up off the bottom when he walks too far out. Even with me holding him and making sure he doesn't face plant in the water.

We got home at 12:20 and by the time I fed Dean lunch and got him down for a nap it was 1. I took a shower and decided it would be best to lay down for a half hour. Then I was starving and had to eat lunch myself.

Now it's 2:11 and I'm feeling human again. But what am I doing? Blogging instead of cleaning. I guess that means I should get a move on. Who knows how much longer Dean will be asleep...

Help your children help themselves

Yesterday we had a Stake Enrichment. I only got to make it for half of it, but what I got to attend was great. The best class I went to was "Help your children help themselves". It felt like I was back in one of my major classes at BYU. I just wished it was longer! She gave us some "homework", so I really wanted to do a series of posts relating to what I learn.

One hand out she gave us was by a bishop in our stake (Mark Ogletree, PhD) who specializes in MFT and Parenting Solutions (among other things). The article was called "These Beggars are Choosers" and was pretty much about the rising generations' entitlement problems and how parents enable children and give them too much. The whole thing was just packed with great stuff. (I promise, I won't normally quote so much, rather I'll talk about what I learned, but I just thought this was too good not to put up!)

The whole article is pretty awesome, and I wish I could find it online to link, but I couldn't. It's in Family Times Volume 3, Issue 12. Here are some examples of the great info in the article:

"Unfortunately, such a couple [independent, responsible and self-sufficient] is now the exception rather than the rule. More common is an experience I had in my counseling office not too long ago. I was visiting with a distraught middle-aged mother. She was worried about how she and her husband were going to pay for their son's rent and living expenses--mind you, their son had just been married the week before. This perplexed mother did not know how she and her husband were going to support two households. Why would this couple be footing the bill for their newly married son and his wife? Then, the mother shared that she was equally concerned that they had to rent a trailer for the newlyweds to transport their gifts and other belongings from TX to UT. Renting the trailer wasn't going to be cheap. Once again, I was bewildered that the parents were paying the way for these newlyweds. Then, the nail in the coffin was when the mother added, "I am also concerned that they will be driving all through the night to travel back to UT, but, they are adults, so I guess I can't say anything." Because I didn't want to offend this mother, I decided not to correct her on the spot. However, if I was more bold, I supposed I could have said something like, 'excuse me...Adults? what do you mean adults? These are grown kids just playing house!" In fact, they are just kids in grown up bodies! Just to set the record straight, an adult doesn't mooch off their parents; an adult is someone who can financially back up their decisions and pay their own way. An adult is someone who can stand, independednt of their parents. Simply put, and adult is someone who can process the consequences of their choices."

He notes some alarming trends such as:

• teenage boy who doesn't mow the lawn because the dad doesn't think he can make it look nice (so they have a lawn service come)
• 21 yr old who lives in parents home, eats their food, refuses to go to school, go on a mission, or work. He has retired, and ironically, has never worked a day of his life.
• Kids who want to work but parents won't let them because there's no need since they're rich.
• Parents who cover for their children so they don't have to bear the full consewuences of their mistakes.
• Teens who stay up till 2-3 AM and/or sleep in until noon or later.

"We cannot raise future church leaders, civic leaders, parents, and teachers on a steady diet of cotton candy, video games, and country club memberships. Ask yourself, "What is the hardest thing my child has to do?"

Enabling Parenting Quiz

1. Do you often rescue your children and bale them out of trouble and responsibility?
2. Do you practically do everything for your children [chores, projects, scouting, young women's] and don't expect anything in return?
3. Do you not expect your children to have chores, work, or be respectful at home?
4. Do you often defend your children, feeling like they can do no wrong?
5. Do you believe that your children's problems are someone else's fault?
6. Do your children believe they are entitled to have rights?
7. Do your children believe that they are entitled to success without any effort?
8. Are you more concerned with political correctness rather than teaching standards, values, and beliefs?
9. Do you buy your children something every time you walk into a store?
10. Do you let your children come and go as they please, having set no limits or boundaries?
11. Do you let your children sit inside day after day, watching TV, playing Video games, and complaining that there is "nothing to do."

If you said yes to more than 5 of these questions, run as fast as you can...the inmates are running the prison!

"Elder Maxwell has voiced this concern when he said, 'A few of our wonderful youth and young adults in the Church are unstretched. They have almost a free pass. Perks are provided, including cars, complete with fuel and insurance--all paid for by parents who sometimes listen in vain for a few courteous and appreciative words. What is thus taken for granted....Tends to underwrite selfishness and a sense of entitlement.'" (Neal A. Maxwell, BYU Devotional, January 1999)

So what do we need to do as parents?

1. For those of you who have children living at home, I would give them a daily does of Vitamin "N". Just tell them "No."
2. Give your children responsibilities. They need to work; they need to have chores, they need to help around the house; they need to pick weeds. Children will never become responsible adults if they do not learn responsibility in their childhood. No child should have a cell phone who is not helping to pay for the monthly fees, or working for the privilege.
3. Have children pay for some of their activities. If they drive, they can help with gas. if they have a cell phone, they better ante up each month; etc.
4. Get rid of teenage retirement in your home! If I can't retire until 65, I'll be danged if my kids can do it at 13!

What about those who have adult children? Do the same rules apply?

Absolutely! If you have a 22 year old son or daughter who has retired before you have, then you had better make some changes! I am aware of parents who are paying the entire way for their college-aged children who are fully capable of working their way through school. If you are paying for everything in your adult child's life, please reconsider. Your child is being robbed of the experiences of growth and development.
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What I learned about myself:
You know, my parents did a whole lot of things right! My mom was occasionally chided by her contemporaries and professors for having so many kids (7), but she knew she was raising producers and not just moochers! We learned to work hard, set and achieve goals, and to produce results.

I also realized that I do "rescue" Dean more than I should. I know, he's only 18 months. That's part of my problem. I'm an inexperienced mom who's trying to figure out what kids are and aren't capable of for their age. I decided after attending the class, that I needed to stop going to nursery with Dean for the first hour. I didn't go today, and Matt said it was one of Dean's best days in nursery! I'm sure not all weeks will be this great for him, but goodness, the kid needs to learn that I'm not going to be at his disposal 24/7 like I am right now. In 8 short weeks he's going to have to share me with another little being.

I also realized that I should say "no" more often than I do. I need to practice saying things like, "No, Dean, you can't play with the [toothpaste, hair gel, glasses, sink, lotion, CD player, soap, etc.]." Sometimes I don't say no because I want to avoid a fight, a tantrum, or I'm tired of stopping him or redirecting him all day long. However, the better I get at saying no now, the better I'll be at holding boundaries later when they're deliberately pushing the line on more important issues.

Random Thoughts on a Rainy Day

Some mornings I wish babies had snooze buttons. (Though I can't complain since he got up after 7:30.)

I wish eggs weren't so stinky when cooking them. I do like to eat them, but I don't like how they make the house smell.

I'm very happy I've been feeling the baby move a little. It's just a nice reassurance between Dr.'s visits that they're still alive.

I can't for the life of me figure out why every white shirt I have found recently is made of the sheerest material possible. What's up with that?!

My "normal" clothes don't really fit anymore. I have a couple pair of pants and shorts that still work, but my shirts and garment tops are right on the edge of not covering my belly. The few maternity shirts I have are just way too big still. I have a couple transition shirts from last time, but not enough.

Maternity shopping is not nearly as fun as exercising. (I told Matt that I was tired of my shirts not fitting so I was going to look for some new clothes. He said, "Maybe you should just work out instead." Haha. If only that would work.) Maternity wear is soooo limited and just not very flattering (and more expensive than regular clothes). So once again I bought a couple loose fitting shirts in the Jr.'s section at Kohls. Glad that style's still in since that's what I had to do last time too.

I generally hate shopping online, but I ended up buying 3 shade maternity shirts today because I was getting desperate. I hope they fit ok. They're normally $24.50/shirt, but if you buy 3 they're only $18/shirt. Much cheaper than most maternity wear that I can find.

It's nice when all your appointments get cancelled on a rainy day. No pest control. No piano lessons. I had dinner cooked, eaten, and cleaned up before Dean went down for bed! I think that's a first!

And speaking of food, I think that Millionaire Chicken is one of my favorite chicken dishes ever. That's what we had tonight. Yum. I also discovered that you get really, really tender shredded chicken by cooking it in gingerale in the crockpot.

Callings and Kisses: A Sunday Svithe

Matt has a new calling at church. He's in the nursery. When he got the calling I had mixed feelings. It will make Dean's nursery transition much, much easier, so that is a plus. However, I was kind of looking forward to him getting used to not being with one of us. He's never had a babysitter during awake time (well, once, but it was grandma and grandpa), and I thought it would be a good thing for him to learn. I'm glad I'm not the one in there though. I don't think he'll be quite so demanding or clingy or possessive with daddy. Another added bonus? Starting next week Dean will be going to nursery full time (a month and a half early)! I was so happy to hear that after having him by myself today during both Sunday School and Relief Society. He was such a handful! I was starving, exhausted, and nearly in tears by the end of church. I think he will enjoy all the fun toys (and hopefully kids) in nursery.

During Sacrament meeting today Dean was "playing" with a little boy about two months older than him. Out of the blue Dean goes up to the kid and tries to give him a hug and a kiss on the lips! He knocked the kid down in the process, and I was laughing so hard I had tears come to my eyes. After they got up Dean tried to (successfully) kiss him on the lips again. (He's NEVER tried to kiss anyone on the lips other than me and his stuffed animals.) A couple minutes later the little boy kissed Dean on the cheek. Matt was perfectly mortified that his son was giving a little boy kisses (on the lips nonetheless!) and leaned over to me and said, "See what you taught him?" (He does not approve of parents kissing their kids on the lips, but I don't think it's a big deal and occasionally do anyway.) After all, he was just following Paul's advice to "greet one another with an holy kiss".

Oh, and as a side note, I am once again reminded why I HATE Day Light Savings! At 7:40PM the older kids in the neighborhood are still running around screaming, and Dean is still making noise 1/2 hour after putting him in bed (we put him him in bed at 7:15 and normally it's no later than 7. But 7:15 is still 6:15 to his little body!) We need to petition Obama to completely cut day light savings while he's on his CHANGE streak. I mean, they did conclude last year that the extended DST actually created more energy usage rather than lessening it. I'm sure we could pose it as an environmental threat and get it attached to some ridiculous bill that's going to get passed in the next couple months here, right?

Sometimes it pays to be nice

Last week my mouse started shorting out and then died. I was a bit miffed because it is a brand new mouse (within the last month), but we didn't have the receipt or box for it any more. I tried plugging it into the back and front USB ports, but to no avail. It was dead.

Or so I thought.

I went and bought another one. I took it out of the box, plugged it in and it didn't work! Ack. So, I tried it on Matt's computer (what I should have done with mine in the first place!) and it worked. That meant my USB ports were just plain toast. My computer is falling apart piece by piece. Partially because it's old. Partially because of Dean playing with it. Luckily we just have to get a new case, a few parts and rebuild one of Matt's old computers which will end up being better than mine anyway. So I repacked the mouse and took it back that same day. (Matt got my mouse to work using the adapter and the PS2 plug in. Unfortunately, however, I can't access any pictures from my camera until we get my new computer.)

That cashier must have been fairly new because as he scanned it he said, "Oh, we can't put the money back on your card the same day. We'll have to give you a gift card." I didn't want a gift card so I said I'll come back another day.

That day was today.

Upon arriving at the store, the cashier returning it said, "Oh, we only do exchanges on opened electrical stuff. That's our policy." I had Dean on my hip (who was snuggling right into my shoulder) and I said something like, "Oh man. I took it out of the box once and realized it was my USB port that was the problem, not the mouse. I tried to return it that same day, but there was some confusion. That's really too bad." I think he felt sorry for this pregnant little mama and he said, "Well, we could call a manager and see if there's anything we can do." I kind of hesitated because I didn't want to be one of those annoying customers, but it was over $20 so I figured I'd just see if there was anything that could be done.

He called the manager and I hear, "Yes I explained the policy. She just wants to see if anything can be done." and then he moved away a little and said something else. The manager came over and looked at the box, made sure everything was there, explained the policy and said, "Well, the box still looks new and nothing is wrong with the merchandise. I can still sell this, so I will go ahead and take it back this once. Just know that our policy is blah, blah, blah for future reference." Woohoo! And just like that. $20 back on my card.

As the cashier was finishing up he said, "You know, I wouldn't have called the manager if you hadn't been so nice and understanding in the first place. I told him that everyone needs a break sometimes." Haha.

Well, here's to not cussing out the cashier when things don't go your way!

My uncanny gift

You know, I have this gift of offending people unintentionally. I have a tendency to say what I'm thinking, be very passionate, and not take offense very easily. All of those things combine every so often (i.e. far too frequently) and I end up saying something that others might perceive as mean, lackadaisical, offhanded, rude, controversial, and yes, offensive. In my mind I would not take offense to what is coming out of my mouth, but the passion with which I say them, and the words that I use sometimes seem harsh and abrasive. Matt has more than once called this gift to my attention. Sometimes I know in the back of my mind that people might take offense, but I say things anyway thinking that people just need to get over it [whatever it may be] and lighten up. (And I really do think that that is the case sometimes.) Sometimes I am totally clueless to my lack of sensitivity and am shocked when I'm called out on it. The truth of the matter is that I probably ought to stop and think more. Bridle my tongue more maybe. While it might be surprising, I do actually sensor some of what I say and write. I don't want to just use my open personality as an excuse for rudeness, saying, "Well, that's me, take me or leave me." But I also don't want to have a major personality overhaul because mostly, I really like who I am. Somehow, though, I need to find a better balance of openness and sensitivity.

So, in short, I'm honestly sorry if I offended anyone with my graphic language, my passion, my openness of information (way TMI for some, I know), or my sometimes shocking and abrasive nature both on my blog and in real life. I am aware of it and am working on it.

The End of an Era

Just to forewarn you, this post may contain more info than you'd care to read.

After I found out I was pregnant, I knew I needed to wean Dean relatively soon. I really have loved breastfeeding, and I was sad and scared to stop. Sad because it's the only real snuggle time I get with Dean. (He's not a cuddle bug! Must get it from Matt.) Scared because his meals really need to count for something now! There's no sure supplementing before bed. I mean, he's always on board for a good nursing session. I can't say the same for cow's milk in a sippy!

I cut out day feedings back in November, but I held onto night and morning feedings through the Christmas break. One night last week when I had a particularly hard time sleeping because of my cough, Matt offered to get up with Dean in the morning. It would be the maiden voyage of morning weaning. I took him up on it.

Dean was quite confused since Matt has never once gotten up with him first thing in the morning. He didn't really cry though. And while I didn't actually sleep after I woke Matt up to get him, it was kind of a relief to just lay in bed and not have to take care of anything. The next morning was not so wonderful. When I got up with him and didn't nurse, he was not happy. He cried and cried and rolled around on the floor. He finally got over it and drank a fair amount of milk out of his sippy. Luckily it was only that one day of unhappiness. The next day he was already used to the new routine. And he started sleeping later! Now he's sleeping about 13 hours at night!! (6:30pm-7:40am ish) We'll see how long that lasts.

I didn't want to cut off night feedings until he was over the morning feedings. So tonight was our last night. I am sad, but I can tell my milk is not as plentiful since cutting off the mornings. Both last night and tonight Dean nursed almost 10 min. longer than normal and didn't seem satisfied even with that. And I hurt at the end. So, it's time.

The era of Dean's breastfeeding has officially come to an end. My little boy is growing up. And maybe I am too.