Tuesday, March 03, 2009

My uncanny gift

You know, I have this gift of offending people unintentionally. I have a tendency to say what I'm thinking, be very passionate, and not take offense very easily. All of those things combine every so often (i.e. far too frequently) and I end up saying something that others might perceive as mean, lackadaisical, offhanded, rude, controversial, and yes, offensive. In my mind I would not take offense to what is coming out of my mouth, but the passion with which I say them, and the words that I use sometimes seem harsh and abrasive. Matt has more than once called this gift to my attention. Sometimes I know in the back of my mind that people might take offense, but I say things anyway thinking that people just need to get over it [whatever it may be] and lighten up. (And I really do think that that is the case sometimes.) Sometimes I am totally clueless to my lack of sensitivity and am shocked when I'm called out on it. The truth of the matter is that I probably ought to stop and think more. Bridle my tongue more maybe. While it might be surprising, I do actually sensor some of what I say and write. I don't want to just use my open personality as an excuse for rudeness, saying, "Well, that's me, take me or leave me." But I also don't want to have a major personality overhaul because mostly, I really like who I am. Somehow, though, I need to find a better balance of openness and sensitivity.

So, in short, I'm honestly sorry if I offended anyone with my graphic language, my passion, my openness of information (way TMI for some, I know), or my sometimes shocking and abrasive nature both on my blog and in real life. I am aware of it and am working on it.

13 comments:

Ashby Family said...

I swear I could have written that exact post. I didn't realize you were quite so much like me! Just wanted to let you know that you've never offended me and I think people who say what they feel are refreshing to talk to and read about. But maybe that's because I know where you are coming from and don't notice what I say as being offensive either.

Love your blog.

Heather and Ryan said...

Yeah, I think I have this gift too. I think anyone who is a mother is allowed to have this gift. I used to think I should hold my tongue a little more, but I've decided that I'll say what I say and if it offends anyone, then they need to have a look at themselves. I'm not downright mean with what I say, I'm just very blunt and speak my mind most of the time. If someone were truly mean (ie name calling, backbiting, etc) then the problem would be theirs, but if they're just blunt there is no reason to censor their words.

Michemily said...

Wow, it sounds like we all have that gift. The only difference is, I don't always have that feeling somewhere inside that I shouldn't say something. I wish people would tell me when they're upset. I usually don't catch on until weeks of the silent treatment.

randa_joy said...

I was kind of hoping you would reveal the naughty thing you said that prompted this post. Or was there an offensive post that I didn't realize was offensive? Either way, I know anything you might say or have said that hurt or offended someone was not intentional because I know you're too nice. I, myself, like to stir the pot on purpose if I feel someone needs their pot stirred.

Celia Marie (W.) B. said...

I was mostly referring to anyone who felt my sex post was a bit over the top and too graphic. But really, it could apply in so many more situations I'm afraid!

Celia Marie (W.) B. said...

And please, no comments about how people shouldn't take offense to that post. While I didn't find it offensive (obviously since I posted it), I know some who did. I generally respect that everyone has a different idea of what is offensive and what is not.

Melissa said...

I had to laugh at your open apology. I really admire you and your ability to say what you think without fear. I find that far too often I hold my tounge because I worry about hurting feelings/coming across wrong/etc and then I end up complaining to my husband later about what "I should have said..." Be your true self, and know that those who love you for who you are are your true friends.

Celia Marie (W.) B. said...

Oh, I know that my openness is a double edged sword. It's one of the things most of my friends really like about me, but I know that it can get me in trouble sometimes too. Never "really big" trouble yet. I am usually quick to apologize if I notice that someone has taken offense. It's part of that "I can't hold it inside" thing. If I'm thinking it, it comes out.

I've only ever offended someone so greatly that she never spoke to me again once, but she was not a kindred spirit to begin with.

Kristeee said...

Hmm, I never would've considered anything you've written to be offensive. I think your posts are generally written to be as non-offensive as possible.

My dad always drilled into me, "engage brain, then mouth." Hehe - I still say that to myself sometimes. I do filter, but sometimes feel like I have diarrhea of the mouth anyways. :)

Sam & Jessica said...

I loved your post and how true to you it is and all your posts are. I love you and I love to read posts that sound like you, it makes it seem like it really hasn't been that long since I've seen you.

Juls said...

HAHA. That is just who you are and I love you for it!

Becky said...

I lived with you and was never offended by anything you said. In fact, I had a blast as your roommate! My favorite was our last night there (I think) and we found a box of mac & cheese in the supply room. Still the best tasting mac & cheese I've ever had! Oh, and our date with the Chinese guards that didn't speak english. That was fun too. Good memories!

Celia Marie (W.) B. said...

Becky, I was just thinking of that mac and cheese this week when I was making some for Dean!! I'm pretty sure it was our last night. Oh to have something that tasted like cheese! Delicious.