Last night I was almost asleep at 10:30 because I just felt so exhausted and I had a head ache. But Matt started watching some TV and I hate going to bed without him. So I got up and watched one of the stupidest shows ever with him (which made me get angrier and angrier), and the outcome wasn't pleasant.
When we finally went to bed at midnight, I was beyond tired and exhausted. I felt like I'd just completely wasted a portion of my life that I'd never be able to regain, and of course, I started to cry because that's what I always do when I'm tired beyond tired.
Then I started thinking many irrational thoughts and babbling incoherently to Matt who told me I wasn't making sense and to go to bed and I'd feel better in the morning. All of these horrible thoughts kept filling my brain and the tears kept coming even though I knew those things couldn't possibly be true. By the time I calmed myself down I couldn't breath through my nose and therefore I couldn't go to sleep. I had to go listen to yoga music while I tried some pranayama breathing. That helped after about 15 minutes, but by that time it was 1:30 AM.
Has it really been a month since my last post about crying and babbling incoherently? Yep. I guess it has. I did feel better in the morning, but that didn't make my eyes any less puffy.
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