Medical Trips

It had been about 5 years since I had been to the dentist for a real check up. It's so expensive. I had 8 teeth to work on. Five on one side and three on the other. They were splitting me up into two visits. No dental insurance back then.

Normally I only get a local anesthetic. But those never really work completely. Just enough so I don't throw up, pass out, or scream in pain. But the pain is still there. Just not quite as intense.

Five cavities to fill. Three hours in a chair. Local anesthetic, and for the first time in my life, the gas. I didn't feel a thing. Except weird floating sensations and some dizziness.

Breathing in. The room started moving around in a figure eight. My body kind of felt heavy and light all at once. Was my hand always so hard to lift?

Breathing in. My head felt disoriented, nothing quite seemed as it should. My eyes kept closing, each time for a longer interval; upon opening them, I was surprised that the doctor and nurse were so close to my face. I think they're inside that interpersonal bubble.

Open you mouth wider, they tell me. Wider? I think. Isn't it as wide as it can possibly go? But no, just as my eyes drifted shut my mouth did as well.

Breathing in. Listening to Norah, I can only faintly hear the grinding of the teeth. Sitting in the chair with contraption on my face holding my lips back. The prongs are digging into my gums. Shouldn't this hurt?

You're all done for today, they tell me. Stay in the chair a little while as the gas wears off.

It is wearing off. I'm crying. Why am I crying? I can't figure it out yet I can't stop it. It's almost like I'm not in my body but I'm feeling the pain now. I want to throw up but I don't. Is this how other people feel? Unsure now if the gas was worth this. I can't imagine trying to drive home. Very disoriented, I can't walk straight. I'm glad Matt is with me.

Half of my mouth is still slack from the local. They give me some pain killers for the road. I'm still crying, and I still don't know why. We pay the gross sum and leave.

I vow to floss every night and go in regularly for check ups.

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I've started to feel the winter cold creeping into my chest. Not that it's cold outside this week. It's been in the 80's. Nevertheless, I can feel that congestion that is getting ready to break up with horrific coughs that are sure to come in a day or two. My nose is continually filled with who knows what from who knows where. How can I have so much gunk in me?

I took a night time cold medicine last night for the first time in years. I didn't really think it would knock me out or affect me much. It took awhile, but I was out. I woke up more than once last night thinking, are my arms always so heavy? Feeling like I have to fling myself to move my limbs.

I woke up today feeling sick still, but I felt as though the drugs had completely worn off. Matt didn't agree. As we drove to his work he told me I shouldn't be driving under the influence. What? It's all gone.

I came back home and fell asleep for another two hours. Upon waking I felt very dizzy. A little like I did after my dentist trip. My stomach kind of felt sick. Only now, 5 hours later, do I feel like I'm back to my normal sick self.

I wonder if it stuck with me so long because I rarely use drugs when I'm sick. Maybe it's because I'm short. Yes. That's probably it. It always comes down to my being short one way or another.

Nothing like medical trips for the infrequent drug user.