Svithe: On Marriage

Today on MSN there was a story on "why he's not the marrying type." It proceeds to list 4 reasons: 1. He needs his space 2. He's married to his work 3. Been married before and got burned 4. Has gray hair but still emotionally 22 yrs. old

Here's my take on "why he/she's not the marrying type":

He/she is selfish and tends to put more value and importance on

• Work
• Play (sports, shopping, video games etc.)
  
• Their time
• Their space
• Their needs
• Their wants
• Their looks
  

than on you, the relationship, or a possible future family.

Disclaimer: It is NOT my opinion that every single adult is selfish. It is also NOT my opinion that every married person is unselfish. There are plenty of wonderful, unselfish single adults. On the other hand, there are plenty of selfish married people; that's where crappy and unhappy marriages and plentiful divorce cases originate. All I'm saying is if you're single and wanting to get married, steer clear of people who fit the afore mentioned categories.

My take on a generally happy marriage:

Come to grips with the fact that life isn't fair and that a happy marriage will require work.

People are people and will most likely do annoying things from time to time. Be quicker to forgive than to anger.

Acknowledge both you and your spouse are worthwhile and valuable; respect each other.

Remember their needs and wants are just as important as yours.

Be willing to do what makes your spouse happy (so long as it is uplifting and worthwhile).

Be aware of your selfishness and how it hurts your spouse and/or children.

When you're frustrated, try not to "horriblize" your spouse (ex: "you always" or "you never").

Figure out the root of the problem rather than the surface issues and conflicts and then try to work on making it better.

Learn to laugh at yourself. (I'm working on this one still. It's a hard one for me sometimes.)

Are you doing your part? Am I?? It's good to take a little self evaluation once in a while.