Why do I want this to work?

Well, I can't remember if I've mentioned it here or not, but I have been contemplating cloth diapering Walt. I tried it with Dean awhile back and decided it wasn't for him, but I thought I'd try a different kind of diaper with Walt. I found an online shop based out of a town just north of us, and she allowed me to come to her house and look at anything I wanted. She was not LDS, but it turned out that her daughter (who was there with her 3 girls) was! They were both very helpful and accommodating.

Anyway, at the suggestion of the ladies who own the store, I decided to try Gro-baby diapers this time. It's an all-in-one(AIO) so it doesn't need a cover. It's pretty awesome because the inserts snap in. No stuffing pockets. You can reuse the cover for multiple inserts so while it looks more expensive than the other AIOs, it ends up being cheaper because you don't have to buy so many covers.

They have actually been quite easy and so far as cloth goes, they're pretty great. The velcro and soakers are much higher quality than even the bumGenious diapers I hear so many rave reviews about. I have a few concerns though.

• Walt's only 2 mo. and I already have the diaper on it's highest rise! These are supposed to be able to last until they're out of diapers essentially. I need to try it on Dean to get an idea if it could really work for an older toddler.
• While I didn't notice it (I constantly have pee, poo, and puke smell in my nostrils), Matt said Walt smelled a lot like pee when he got home from his week long travels.
  
• I have a harder time knowing if he's gone poo for some reason, so I always feel like I have to check and check.
• I find myself still wanting to use the disposables even though the cloth are not much harder. It means more work for me with laundry, but since I don't have to stuff pockets, I just have to remember to wash and dry them in a timely manner.

That last one makes me stop and think, "why do I want this to work?" That's hard for me to answer. The cost? Am I a trendy mom? Do I feel like I have something to prove, like cloth diapering means I'm a "better" mom or "better" member of the community? Are disposables really that bad? Is it to help save the environment? Is it the chemicals? Is it the thought of making them wear (essentially) a huge maxi pad all day every day when I can't stand using (and don't) one week a month?

I guess it's partially the expense of disposables and having to constantly go back to the store to buy more. But if I used these diapers I wouldn't save a whole lot of money unless I stick with the cloth beyond the time I introduce solids. That really would mean more work on my part. I am quite vain, I decided, since I cringe at the thought of putting my baby in a prefold with the practical plastic pants cover. That would be very economical, but I just can't bring myself to do it. The fitteds with covers seemed like a good option, but with covers it was just as expensive as AIOs and they're pretty bulky.

I did decided that I just have to do all or nothing. If I have the option to do both I'll pretty much just go the easier route. If I make up my mind that cloth are the "better" choice for me, I can get over my reservations and just do it.

I'll let you know when I decide.