Weighing on my mind

I just have to preface this post with: I normally do not stress about these things. I almost always feel fine about my body and what shape I'm in.

However, ever since I went to the Dr.'s, I've unfortunately been thinking about numbers. Stinking weight numbers. I hate it. Why do they have to weigh you if you're going in for a bladder infection??

I think I'm a little bitter because the numbers on the scale said I was at my heaviest ever. Rubbish. I do not believe that ONE BIT! Never mind the fact that I still had my shoes on and never mind that "muscle weighs more than fat." I just flat out do not believe the numbers were correct. Nor does the husband. He said he thinks I'm as thin as when we got married, and that's when the scale's number were the lowest in the last 10 years. He's a pretty honest chap and I really believe he would not tell me something if he really didn't believe it. Plus I can fit in all my "skinny clothes" that I couldn't have fit in after I got home from China.

When we got married I wouldn't allow the purchase of a scale. Odd, maybe, but you see, I do not own a scale for a number of reasons.

1. If there is a scale, I feel a compulsion, even an obligation, to weigh myself. I hate that and feel like it then consumes my life. Then if I'm even 1 or 2 lbs (or 5-10 lbs.) off of my "target weight" I look at my body and start scrutinizing it wondering "where it's all gone." Goodness.

2. I want to control my weight; I don't want it to control me. If I am in good general health, eat balanced meals a good 98% of the time, and exercise regularly, I think I should be able to eat some "sinful" dessert or meal. Obviously one should not have high fat, high calorie, junk food junk every day. But why cut out something you love completely??

3. Scale numbers are so very subjective. They don't tell you your fat/muscle ratio. The numbers also vary from scale to scale.

4. I work with Eating Disorder girls every day. I see what improper use of scale numbers does to a person.

5. I would much rather go by how my body feels physically, how I feel emotionally, and what my husband thinks than some stupid numbers on a scale that I don't even know are accurate.

6. Doesn't everyone have another 10 lbs. they can lose, regardless of what weight they're at...?

7. When someone weighs in at X and says "I'm so fat" or "I could lose another 10," there is always someone at Y weight who then thinks, "If she's fat, I'm HUGE." I hate that.

That's my ranting. Soon I will forget about this whole number thing. I will continue to eat balanced, exercise regularly, and listen to my body. I just had to get it off my mind and onto paper...I mean computer...