I (like most of you, I'm sure) have the image of "the perfect me" in my head that often seems just out of reach. I need improvement in so many areas it's hard to know where to begin to make changes, so often I just do nothing more than I'm already doing. Last week in church someone suggested we take 1 goal and work on it exclusively for a shorter period of time like a day or a week. I really started thinking about this today.
Since coming home with Walt I've felt like an escalating broken record with Dean. Part of it is because he's having a hard time adjusting, "Please don't touch him. Get off of him. It's NOT NICE TO POKE HIM IN THE EYE! What did I just say? LEAVE HIM ALONE! For the love!!! If you do that once more you're going into time out. That's it!" But some of it comes because he's just at that stage where he feels compelled to get into everything. "Get out of Dad's desk. Please don't open his drawers. Don't play with his stuff. I said DON'T TOUCH HIS STUFF! You can't eat his candy. You CAN'T EAT HIS CANDY!" He's figured out how to pull a chair to the counter and climb on up. Looks like I'm going to have to start locking up my knife block. I feel like I yell a whole lot more than I used to and I don't like it one bit. That needs some attention.
Another struggle I've run into is family meals. My family ate 2-3 meals together every day growing up. I think it's super important. There are lots of benefits to it. Despite my feelings on the subject, we don't eat meals together as a family at the table. At all. Well, Dean and I eat breakfast together in the morning, but Matt's never ready to eat before he goes to work, so he takes a yogurt or something with him. I rarely eat with Dean at lunch for some reason. And then dinner. Ugh. Don't even get me started. Ok, I'm started already so I might as well finish. Dean has an early bed time, 7. That means we start his bed routine at 6:30. That means if we were to eat dinner together it should be between 5:30-6. When I teach piano I'm usually not finished teaching till 5:30, but it doesn't really matter since Matt's not ready to eat that early anyway. So I generally end up slapping something together for Dean, getting him ready for bed, then making our meal. Nearly every night Matt and I eat in our computer room, doing our own thing in front of our own computers, barely interacting. Sometimes I wonder how this came about, though I know full well how it did. (After talking about it with Matt, we've decided to try and institute an earlier family meal time at the table.)
Then there are health related regrets. While I consider myself a generally healthy person, I definitely have my days where I don't drink enough water, eat too much sugar or snacks, don't eat enough lunch, don't eat enough veggies, etc.
And we can't forget how I fall short of personal and spiritual goals. I don't study my scriptures that often and even struggle to read them sometimes. Prayers could use some attention. We used to be really good at FHE, but that's fallen by the wayside. I'd like to waste less time in the evening at my computer and either read or get more projects done.
Ack. As I write this all down it feels like my list of "NEEDS IMPROVEMENT" is longer than I originally believed.
So, I think I shall try a goal a week. Focus on 1 thing specifically that week. For example, this week I will try to have dinner made and on the table by 6 at the latest. Next week maybe it will be no yelling or harsh words, regardless of how ornery or disobeient Dean is. One thing at a time and hopefully some things will stick.
Wish me luck.