I was afraid it was too soon. Though I am ready, Dean was not.
I tried teaching piano lessons yesterday. He was sooo tired but would not go to sleep because of everything else that was going on. So what did he do during the 2 hours? Cried. A lot.
So I learned my lesson. I'm not just on my time schedule anymore. I have to think about someone else.
I'm pushing back my other lessons until at least after Thanksgiving. They might end up being pushed back until after Christmas. Really I wouldn't mind doing that, but I feel bad affecting 13 other people like that. But who's most important to me right now? Dean. So, one step at a time I guess. I can only do what I can do. And that's less than what I used to be able to do. I need to get used to that for now.
16 comments:
Yeah, that's a hard lesson to learn. It was for me, anyway. Though it's starting to get a little better for me, it's still hard for me to, at the end of the day, look back over what I accomplished and realize how little it really was (even though there are days when, though I don't have much to show for it, I'm pretty sure I took on the world). It will take, as you know, a lot of sacrifice on your part, but eventually you and Dean will figure out some sort of compromise. :)
As for the piano lessons...I honestly wouldn't stress it even if you had to push back until after Christmas. I would hope that these kids (and their parents) understand the major life change you just went through and will cut you some much deserved slack. When I was a kid taking piano lessons, my lessons were interrupted by a new baby (and this was my teacher's 6th child so it's not like she had to take time off to adjust to the new lifestyle of parenting), and it really wasn't too big of a deal. I got a vacation and my mom knew that my teacher would start up again as soon as she felt able to.
Anyway, good luck learning to take life on at Dean's pace! But it sounds like you already have your priorities in order. ;)
I too have great empathy for you. I'm excited because Megan is hitting the famous six week mark that is said to be where they peak in fussiness and then get better from there. She's a great baby, but has her moments for sure, so hopefully after Dean is six weeks old he'll give you a break and be more flexible with piano lessons. Hey, it could happen ;)
The day is over and I am now positive I did the right thing by not having lessons. We had a pretty decent day.
I even gave Dean a bath in the baby bath tub I got from a friend. He liked is SOOOO much better than the sink. He didn't cry at all! Very different from the sink baths where he never stopped crying!
good luck with this one celia. i have tried several times to do piano lessons with kids/babies, always thinking that mom did it with seven babies and always managed to pull it off effortlessly, but i have never had very good luck. the only time tat it has relaly worked since i have had kids is when cannon was home to babysit or i hired a babysitter and went to my students' houses, which kind of defeats the purpose of teaching piano lessons so that you can stay home with your kids. but even mom always took a month off when she had babies. and she felt really comfortable nursing them under a blanket while she taught. that is a skill that is not easy to master on your first baby. do what is best for you and baby. when he gets a little older, he will be more predictable and it will be easier to know how to handle him in tricky situations.
In truth, I'm finding I am not quite ready myself. I am tired. Taking care of a baby 24/7 is hard work. Especially when he's colicky or has a tummy ache and keeps spitting up.
Maybe I shouldn't have eaten that spicy food. Dang. I was hoping not to have to alter my eating habits. Oh well.
I say push them back until AT LEAST after Christmas. What parent will complain about one less thing to do during the coming holiday season? I know I took a 12 week maternity leave from work and I don't think I could have gone back even one day sooner.
Also, I'll weigh in on watching what you eat and how he acts--I even go so far as to reccommend a "food diary" if you have a baby that is at all fussy--you'll find that giving up certain foods is just no big deal in exchange for a peaceful baby that feels well.
yes silly, i am completely with amy jane on the food diary. take it from me, the mom of three major spitters, your diet really can affect your milk. i still remember chelsea SCREAMING after i ate some really peppered spicy fajitas. i felt so bad. some of the main culprits are dairy products, cruciferus vegetables (broccoli being the worst), and CHOCOLATE. boo hoo. i never had much trouble giving up broccoli, but chocolate, now that was a true sacrifice. hopefully you will find that your diet isn't a problem.
PS i might just write under cannon's account from now on. if he is logged into google at all (for e-mail) it puts his blogger name up for good and it is a pain to keep switching back and forth.
Mom recommended a food journal too. I am very, very bad about keeping track of things like this. But if it happens frequently, I will try. Today was the first day he spit up a lot. After almost every feeding spit up was cascading down his front or shooting out over my shoulder.
I did have spicy food and beans yesterday, so it could have been either of those things.
Also, if he's fussy and spitty, you might want to consider getting him checked for reflux. We found out when Garrett was 3.5 months old that it was reflux - and not colic - that was causing his fussiness. So, try the food diary first, but if that doesn't work, trust me -- an investigation into reflux (and the treatments for it if that's what the problem is) are worth every penny.
beans and green veggies (salad) were high on my personal list of things that made the baby spit up. can you imagine life for 9 months without salad? almost as bad as chocolate. if his spitting up is isolated, it probably is related to diet, especially if you can think of something that you just ate that isn't in your normal diet. also, vitamins, especially if they are really high in iron, make babies fussy a lot. can you tell i've done HOURS of research on this topic, and years of personal experimentation trying to get my babies to reduce their spitting up. i am glad this is his first really bad day though, so e probably won't be a terrible spitter. my bad ones started at about 5 days old.
It's almost harder for me to imagine life without beans! They're one of my most eaten foods.
Did you notice how much Dean looks like Matt in the picture where he is smiling? So cute.
I had to smile that Amanda thought I pulled it off effortlessly! I simply had no other choice. But I'm glad it looked easy.
I did love it that I could walk, rock, nurse, bounce, change diapers, etc and still maintain my hobby/career.
Good luck!
You didn't find it to be too distracting for your students?
FYI: the Baby Whisperer says that food won't affect your milk, therefore won't affect your baby. WRONG! That is one of the few things I disagree with her on.
Ashley spit up like a maniac, and her poo's were explosive! I thought every baby was like that, but my last three haven't done either one. Ashley also nursed like a horse--she sucked me dry in 5 minutes, no joke (that sounds kind of crude, but it's true!)--and then she spit 1/2 of it up. In retrospect, I think I probably overfed her a little, but I also think she was just like that.
I found my babies were most fussy around the holidays with all the wierd food we eat (I've had three fall babies), but gas/tummy probs has been an issue with all of them, and Ali's babies, for at least the first 3 months. Ali ate so many fajitas and curry her first week that her milk actually SMELLED like onions! HA!
Good luck!
PS Good luck w/ piano lessons. I taught 10 students for about 18 months (right after I had my 2nd), but when I moved from Denver to here I knew I couldn't keep it up. I liked to teach sets of siblings so that one of them would entertain the kids while I taught. I got Liv on a nap schedule that coincided with the lessons, and only did them in 2-hour increments. I am sure your mom has much more and better advice than I could ever give, although these things helped me!
Jacq,
I appreciate hearing how you did piano. As to the food thing, I've wondered many times if you just keep eating something if they'll get used to it. I know what you eat affects the milk taste, but how do babies in other countries with spicy or other upsetting foods cope? Do their babies just spit up the whole time they nurse?
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