PS

Oh, and Th., this new background color was out of love for you. Hopefully this one makes you think of chocolate rather than the dirty diaperness of the other one...

Is it too dark though? Does it hurt anyone's eyes? What do you think?

The End--PSYCH!

Well, Friday was supposed to be my last day of temping with the county. I had mentally prepared myself for the fact that I'd have a week without work before our East coast trip. I'd planned on looking for some more temp work that could last me through the summer when I got back, but I was looking forward to a little break.

Then one hour before The End on Friday, the acting supervisor (the true supervisor wasn't there that day) came and whispered to me, "This is for your ears only, but Sandy got permission to let you stay for the next month or so. Just don't say anything because the other temps won't have this chance." I thought it was kind of funny she'd say that because the majority of the temps had already been let go over a month ago, and it was down to just two of us. And the other one wanted to leave long before Friday, so I can't imagine her feeling jaded that I'd get to stay longer when she didn't.

When I spoke with our office HR lady to make sure my badge wasn't going to be deactivated, she told me that the time frame I'd be able to work was kind of indefinite. It almost sounded like I could temp there until I wanted to quit for baby reasons. This really is quite a blessing, though I'd already moved on mentally.

I'm sad I won't be able to exercise in the mornings, but I'm glad I can contribute to our savings as long as possible. Maybe we'll be able to get us a second car by the time we have this kid. That would be convenient. If not we'll make do. It helps that we only live 1 mile from Matt's work. Gotta love that commute.

Your Civic Duty: A letter to the lady

Dear lady at work,

I don't know who you are, but I've seen your dirty work. Have you no shame woman? Were you born in a barn wherein they had no running water? Good Heavens.

Your personal hygiene in your own home is your own deal. I don't care what you do there. It's you and your family who have to worry about that. But in a public place (as a public servant no less) you have a civic duty on your hands. Literally.

Let me tell you something your mother should have told you loooong ago. After you use the restroom, you wash your hands. Preferably with soap. Preferably about 20 seconds or so, but even a courtesy rinse would be better than nothing. NOTHING! I am still in shock. And while I was standing there watching you as you came out of your stall and immediately headed for the door with your grubby little hands! Did you feel no shame? Did you feel no embarrassment that I knew your dirty little secret?

Well if you didn't, you should have.

I'm not saying I'm perfectly clean, but hand washing in public is a given. I mean, think of how many people touch that door after you! Are you also the person who isn't such a sweety and forgets to wipe the seaty? Because that's sick too. I know you don't want to recognize the fact that you may have sprayed a little, but I don't want to sit in it. Nor do I want to have to wipe up after you.

I don't generally have germ issues, but it is people like you who drive others to become OCD about hand sanitizer and Lysol.

Please reconsider your nasty little habit. It does not become you.

What I should have written about this week

I don't know what it's been, but I've had a hard time motivating myself to write. I've been very, VERY hungry lately, my mind feels like it's left the building most of the time, and goodness I get so tired. So I'll give you an abbreviated version of all the post I should have written.

Monday
Hallelujah our sprinkler system is installed and working! Sure we have a Frankenstein yard right now (part of front yard pictured), but it should be ok by next year. It was a choice between this and a second car and we both chose this. With drought conditions and water restrictions we just couldn't keep up last year. Our yard is so big and our 6-hose-and-horribly-inadequate- sprinkler-heads-from- Walmart-system was just not up to the task. Our back yard was looking mighty sad and the weed situation was out of control because of it. We wanted to make sure our front yard didn't follow suit.

Tuesday
I had my first ultra sound! The baby is so cute. It has 10 fingers, two eyes, a healthy developing brain, knobby little knees, two legs, two arms, and a strong heart beat. This ultra sound was just to make sure everything looked normal and was on the right track. I had what appeared to be a fibroid, but the placenta wasn't on top of it, so the doctor said she wasn't even slightly concerned. I hope she's right! Matt couldn't come so I got to video tape it and let him see later that night. I'm only at week 13 so I didn't find out the sex of the baby yet. From crown to rump it was 6.5 cm. Approximately the size of a jumbo shrimp.

Also, I made an awesome chicken tortilla soup for dinner. This is a big accomplishment for me since I have been having a streak of bad, bad soup experiences. I think the key for me is to never make a crockpot soup.

Wednesday
Even once-semi-professional cooks have off days. And when I mean off, I mean off. Despite the fact that I was eating something almost every hour I was STARVING the whole day. When dinner rolled around, I was to the breaking point. We didn't have great food to work with, but I decided I'd steam some cauliflower and make a lemon pasta with artichoke hearts and olives.

Things started out fine. I put my steamer basket in my pot, chopped up the cauliflower and added it to the pot, put the lid on, and turned the pot on high. Anyone catch what I was missing? I sure didn't. After a few minutes I heard a "pop". The bottom of them pan was lopsided. I was so tired and hungry I still didn't catch on to what was going on. Then the bottom of the pot turned BRIGHT RED and it was melting down onto our burner. I still didn't know why this was happening, but I pulled it off the burner and made Matt come look at it. "Why is this bright red?!" "You didn't put water in it!" I pulled off the lid and immediately put water in to cool it off. The water was instantly at a rolling/spitting boil the pan was so hot. A horrible chemical smell permeated our kitchen and our cauliflower was ruined. I was super tired and hungry so I continued to make the pasta despite Matt's warnings that I shouldn't be in the kitchen with the chemical fumes.

I don't generally care for pasta anyway, and it was completely unsatisfying that night. I was still hungry after eating and we were out of vegetables. By about 10 pm I went back into the kitchen and started crying because it was so dirty, I'd ruined our only little saucepan, I was tired and hungry, and I'd made no headway on finding a hotel for our trip. Matt helped me clean up, and I continued to cry for awhile. I got over it after awhile.

Thursday
This day was fairly uneventful, though I had some trouble breathing. Matt thinks it was from the pot chemicals the night before. Probably.

Friday
TGIF! I don't even know what we did, but man I was ready for the week to be over and the weekend to start!!! Oh yes. I figured out where we're staying on our trip. We originally thought we'd stay at a hotel in Chester, PA since it was HALF THE PRICE of anything in Philadelphia boundaries and it was only about 15 min. out. But I started looking for reviews and it was horrible. People said they found dried blood and semen in their rooms, the location was in a rough part of town, and one reviewer even said their sister was killed there! So, we opted to not stay there. The place we booked didn't have SUPER great reviews, but it was nothing too bad, and it was just under $100/night. Man hotels are expensive!

Saturday
Matt was gone from 7am-9pm for youth conference. I had a nice jog, using my cool new birthday mp3 player. I had to stop a couple of times because the hunger pains were out of control!!! After I got back and fed this ravenous little baby, I began getting our garden in planting order. We're a bit worried since we're planting a little late. We couldn't do it until our sprinkler system was put in so they wouldn't ruin anything. I thought we had already bought our seeds, but we hadn't and Matt had the car. (That's when the second car would have come in handy! Doh!) So all I could really do was prep the rows. It's looking good and hopefully tomorrow evening I can get some seeds planted. I'm thinking onions, cucumbers, zucchini, herbs (basil, oregano, cilantro), bell peppers, green beans, and tomatoes to start. I may try a watermelon, cantaloupe, and/or pumpkin. I've heard these take up a lot of room, so I'll have to see how much space we have after I plant the others.

It just takes a moment

This weekend I was reminded that it just takes a moment for your life altering moments to occur.

Yesterday morning my mom emailed our family telling us that my brother was hit by a drunk driver while he was jogging with two friends. Two of them were hit, but my brother was the worst off.

He was knocked out of his shoes (literally), and his head went through the windshield where his hat was left inside the car. He was then thrown back from the car and landed on the ground. When his friends went to pick up Eric's shoes, the cops told them to not touch them but to leave them there. When they asked why, the cops said, "this is a crime scene." When the friends asked why it was considered a crime scene they said, "your friend's not going to live. This will be a homicide crime scene." His friends to the cops Eric would live.

He was taken to the hospital and had X-rays galore. Luckily, he did and will live. His face got pretty cut up from the glass and both the tibia and fibula of one leg were broken right at the knee. I was told he may have had a severed artery because he lost a LOT of blood, but I never did have that fact confirmed. But he did not have internal bleeding, nor does it appear he had any brain trauma, which was good. This happened yesterday morning and I was able to talk to him tonight for a few minutes. He is one of the strongest willed people I know, so I'm sure his recovery will be optimal given what has happened to him.

Two of my sisters commented that it seems so crazy for it happen to him since he seems like the invincible one. He's Army trained, runs multiple marathons every year, and it just plain solid in every aspect of his life. But "bad things" generally don't take exceptions for good people. We all live in a mortal world where people have agency, and sometimes good people are affected badly by other's poor choices.

All we really can do is try and live our lives fully, love people without reserve, and do our best to do what's right and good. Today in church our Stake President said, "Don't put off living your life." Because it just takes a moment for it to all change.

The emergence of a belly

I am officially past my 12 week mark and my belly is starting to bud. I am all for pregnant ladies wearing (nicely, not ill) fitted shirts and stylish outfits rather than trying to hide their emerging tummies.

Luckily I haven't really hit that awkward "they don't know I'm pregnant so I hope they don't think I'm just getting fat" stage since almost everyone I interact with regularly knows I'm preg-o. Today, however, is the first day I've had anyone comment about me actually looking the part. It wasn't only 1, but 3 co-workers who separately commented. I think it's part belly and part shirt choice. One woman was tactful, the other two not so much. But I know they all meant well, so I can't hold it against them.

8 AM "Oh, you're starting to show! How exciting!"
11:30 AM "Looks like you're starting to gain weight!"
3 PM "You have a pooch! Can I touch it?"

So it's been a little worrisome to me that I'll gain weight in places I can't blame on baby, so I'm trying not to obsess or stress. It doesn't help that every pregnancy book I've read has talked about eating enough (but not too much) and to gain weight (but not too much). They have ridiculous menus that, sure, would be good for anyone to convert to, but aren't all that realistic in my mind. Like sweetening muffins with juice concentrate rather than sugar, cutting out salt, etc. My mom suggested it is a swinging pendulum from the old days of "Eat on up! You're eating for two!!" or "You're pregnant, it's ok to eat a lot/ whatever you want."

I'll try and be smart, but I have to say it's been increasingly difficult to want to eat veggies other than cucumbers in my vinegar/salt brine and that delicious Olive Garden Salad.

Here's the "end of the 1st trimester" photo update so you can see for yourself.

Nasty little habits

Everyone (I'm generalizing and assuming here, and you know what happens when you assume...) has their own little list of pet peeves, annoying habits, or big time no-nos when it comes to interpersonal exchanges.

Since we all have our own personalities and our brains are all wired differently, our lists vary from person to person. This means our behaviors, personalities, and habits are likely to get under someone else's skin at one point or another. That's why I try to not get bent out of shape when someone finds that I'm not their BFF or their soul mate. Sometimes it's not just meant to be. And for every person who finds you more annoying than endearing, there's most likely someone who just "gets you". Now, there are people we love who have one or two "nasty little habits", but luckily our love outweighs our annoyance and we are able to get along 99.999% of the time.

I started thinking about this today when I checked my email to find 10 new messages in the last hour! "Holy emails!" I thought. I was hoping some spam distributor had not somehow hacked my account, rendering it useless and forcing me to change email. Luckily it was just one of my friends who I recently added to my contact list. She just sent me 10 forwards. And then I thought.

"Oh no! I have a forward frenzied friend! Must...stop...soon...before this gets out of hand..."

You see, this is on my list. I don't mind getting a forward on a very, very rare occasion if it comes from someone who knows me well enough to know what I'd find interesting. But how often is that really? Not very.

I very kindly let her know I didn't really care for forwards, but to keep me in her contacts because I care for to hear from her, about her. She was very understanding, and you know what?

She doesn't like forwards either.

Matt is great, he made me chocolate cake!

If you want to get technical, he actually made a "Better than Sex Cake." It is his long standing tradition for my birthday.

And what a good birthday it was (yesterday). I'm a whopping 26. More than a quarter of a century. Lol.

I don't mind getting older (not like 26 is old!). I notice I don't know much, and realize how much less I knew in previous years! Is that what makes you wiser? Knowing you don't know everything?

It was quite a pleasant day (except for the cold temperatures and a headache that plagued me half the day) that started with a testimony meeting/brunch with some Relief Society sisters. There were only 12 that showed up, but it was very nice indeed. Plus the food was great.

After that I went all over in search of a new Easter dress. I haven't bought church clothes in years and I really wanted to find something cute. I struck out at 5 stores and ended up finding 2 dresses at (where other than) Ross. They are very similar patterns and styles, but one is brown/white while the other is black/white. I'm happy. After wearing the new black/white one to church, I decided that "black and white" is the new Easter pastel. I imagined I'd see people wearing pinks, yellows, and purples to church today. But no, there were TONS of women in black and white patterned outfits.

Anyway, back to the birthday...we went to Blades of Glory (starring John Heder and Will Ferrell). It was funny overall. But if you're sensitive to sexual innuendo (not action, just talk), beware of Will Ferrell's character who's a "recovering sex addict".

Dinner was delightful. Olive Garden. I go there every couple of years for the salad dressing. YUM. I swear I could drink that stuff. So vinegary and salty.

Our after dinner party consisted of the afore mentioned cake and presents. It was one of the coolest years EVER for presents. Seriously. It was my first year making an Amazon wish list. I only could come up with 11 items to begin, but figured that was plenty to choose from and enough for me to be surprised.

My parents sent me some Isagenix shakes which were appreciated. They always leave me feeling nice and satisfied after drinking them.

To my surprise, my in-laws got me 3 items off my list.

1. The Cosby Show season 1
2. The Cosby Show season 2
3. Beatles Love album

I can't tell you how excited I am about all three of those. The Cosby show is one of my all time favorite shows. When we were kids we knew we were going to cut off the cable so we taped a season of The Cosby Show. Man those were good times.

I thought Matt would get me a CD or something from my Amazon list, but he REALLY surprised me with a SWEET new mp3 player. It's a sansa express and is supposed to give the IPOD shuffle a run for its money. It's small, light weight, awesome, and he also got me an athletic case I can wear on my arm when I run. It's the first "direct connect" USB mp3 in existence, so you don't have to worry about cables or chargers. It's 1 GB but can be expanded to 3 GB with an additional memory card. I've wanted an mp3 player for years, but always figured they're too expensive. This one just came out and it's very reasonably priced. But even better, Matt had a Best Buy gift card from work so it was essentially FREE!! Woo hoo!

After cake and presents we watched (or rather Matt watched and I partially watched while I was in and out of consciousness) Shaolin Soccer. It's such a funny movie but I was soooo tired.

What a good birthday though. I'm a lucky girl.

Just admit it already

When people ask me how I've been feeling, I generally tell them I've felt pretty well. Not sick, a little unsettled at times, but overall I've been just peachy.

But I think I've been fooling myself a little. I mean, for the most part I do feel fine, but I have my moments, or hours sometimes. For instance, it was unpleasant doing dishes tonight and the smells of certain things were very unsettling. Like I wanted to throw up, but didn't actually do it, unsettled. Some may call this nausea. Why is it so hard for me to admit I'm nauseous?

When people at work first found out I was pregnant, they were great. A little too great. Like, they wanted to pamper me and kept telling me not to lift things like a ream of paper! Come on people. I'm pregnant, not handicapped!

I have a strong, proud streak running through me. I like to do things myself. I like to mow the lawn. I string grocery bags up and down my arms trying to get everything in one fell swoop. I like to help move furniture. When pulled over for speeding, I made a conscious decision to not do the crying girl thing to try and get out of it. I don't like being told I can't do something because I'm short, a girl, pregnant, etc. Somehow I think if I admit I've been a bit nauseous it weakens me in others' eyes, that they'll baby me even more than they already are.

But I'll say it now. I'm nauseous. Just don't coddle me too much please.

General Conference

I love General Conference. This round seemed especially good. I only slightly dozed during one talk on Saturday afternoon and a prayer today. It was a long prayer. Sheesh.

Highlights:
Saturday
Elder Holland reminding us how important words are. Negative words about ourselves and others have a greater impact than we realize. I need to be better about criticizing less and keeping my speech KTN (kind, true, and necessary).

Elder Bednar relating becoming born again with making pickles. Boy did I want to make pickles after his talk was over. Seriously. It's a good thing we tilled up a garden area for us in our back yard last week. I'm going to grow me some cucumbers and make me some pickles. Oh, and hopefully I'll work more on saturating myself more in the scriptures and becoming a better disciple of Christ.

Sunday
President James E. Faust gave one of the best talks I've ever heard on forgiveness. I'm pretty forgiving by nature and I've only ever harbored black, angry feelings against three people that I can think of. But those didn't last, thank heavens, and I can seriously say I have no seething animosity toward anyone. Good thing since those feelings hurt us most in the long run. They distort our perception of reality and we are victims of our own anger. It also made me excited that I'll get to go to Amish country in May.

President Hinckley made me think again on the nature of God. I am continually amazed that anyone who reads and believes the bible also believes in the Trinity version of God as opposed to the Father, Son and Holy Ghost as three separate and distinct beings. Also, what an amazing and funny man. And 97 years old!!

Elder Eyring gave a great talk on procrastination. I can't tell you how often I think things like, "I'll be better about X when Y happens." Ok, ok. I get it. I need that someday to be today so I will be better for it tomorrow.