Wednesday, November 24, 2010

"Let's send Walter away!"

We have had a fun, longstanding morning routine (when we're not out running) of "pushing dad's car out" when Matt goes to work. Dean has done it for a very long time, and now that Walt's getting bigger, he's started joining in on the fun. The boys get so excited to say goodbye to dad and help push his car out. Dean has been pretty angry about having to share the responsibility often saying things like, "No! Only one kid pushes!" or "Don't let Walter push!!"  This morning after we pushed dad's car out, Dean said, "Mom, let's send Walter away!" When I asked him where he thought we should send Walt, he said very reasonably, "To Grandma's!"  I was surprised he came up with an answer, and a pretty smart one at that. He's obviously thought this one through. I told him that I would miss Walter too much to send him away, just like I'd miss Dean too much if we sent him away.

It was a hard transition to 2 for him. He had lots of issues with bringing a new baby home, and I don't think we handled it very well. New parents, crazy postpartum mom, 2 boys under 2. We did what we could, but the sibling rivalry persists and gets stronger it seems. We have good moments of sharing and caring and love, but it seems like the moments filled with frustration, anger, and jealousy are increasing the more mobile and able Walter is.

They constantly fight over me. Who gets to sit on my lap at church or during books. Who I hold. They HATE sharing my lap and end up whining, crying, and/or hitting each other when I try to do both.

Any good book suggestions or church articles that have helped you out on this topic anyone? Or your own tips?


The Drapers said...

May i ask why you push matts car out of the garage every morning? That is all I could think about after reading this. Lol!

Celia Marie (W.) B. said...

Dean thinks he is helping Matt back out. It makes him feel important and he thinks it's fun.

leethie said...

Reading this reminded me of an article I came across online. It helped me recognize a few things I was doing that were unknowingly promoting negative feelings.
I've read Chick Moorman's Parent Talk book and our school used their Parent Talk curriculum for in-service this year. He has some helpful ideas.

Another thing that came to mind - the talk "Tongue of Angels"
by Elder Holland gives a caution about comparing children.

Wish I could say my kids were always best friends. They love LOVE to play together, but they have so many tiffs. When I remember to, we figure out ways to have "alone time" even if its just drawing a picture or reading a book for 5 min. That makes a difference.

The Drapers said...

Oh I get it. I literally thought you guys were pushin the old car out of the driveway every morning! Lol.. Anyhow lily has been with just us for 3 years and all these things your writing sound all to familiar!

Celia Marie (W.) B. said...

Thanks Lis, that was a good article.

Me again said...

In our house, if the kids are fighting over something, neither one gets it. Toys, etc.

so for your lap at church or reading a book, no one gets it. If its a toy, the toy gets put away until I remember to take it out again. Sometimes that's days, or until I run across it when cleaning.

It works for us. Of course we have 2 girls and not boys...:) But they are 22 months apart.