Freaking Out

Poor little Dean has acquired his first phobia.

Ablutophobia.

That's a fear of bathing.

It started a couple weeks ago. He didn't want to recline anymore for some reason. It didn't really get bad until about a week ago. He was standing up and climbing around in his bath tub. I had a hold of one of his hands, trying to get him to sit down. He turned and slipped. His head went under the water. He sucked some in. I pulled him out a split second later, but he was TOTALLY freaking out. I don't blame the kid. It would have been scary.

Ever since then he's started crying even before we put him in the tub. He starts getting nervous when we turn the water on to fill it up. When we actually put him in, he goes crazy. I mean ca-RAY-zy! Like red faced screaming and whole body trembling crazy. The entire time. From start to finish it is pure torture for him.

We tried calming things like soft music, me singing to him, and I actually got in my swim suit tonight and tried holding him the whole time. He wasn't quite as crazy tonight, but he still cried uncontrollably.

The first three months of his life bath time was one of the rare moments he wasn't crying. I'll take the switch (I'd much rather he cry only at bath time), but it does make me sad he's so scared.

(Picture taken November 2007)

Music Math while Daddy's gone

Me
Dean
+2 hours of piano lessons
_________________
Difficult
-Daddy
_________________
(Chaos)

At least Dean was happy for the most part. Let's hope the rest of the week goes at least this well...

Contentment

We bought our house really quickly. We came here for one weekend two months before our move. We had 3 days to look and find something, and the next thing we knew we were signing a contract on a home. I was the one really pushing for buying immediately because I really didn't want to face the prospect of moving to an apt. and then moving again just a few months later.

Overall, I think we made a decent choice. There are things I really like about this house. It was a reasonable price. It has a gigantic yard. The previous owners took care of it fairly well (though they did have many indoor pets, which I'm not overly fond of...especially with carpet.) It's on a cul-de-sac (making it the best street in our neighborhood). I like that you can see the living room from the kitchen. It's only about a mile from Matt's work.

But there are a few things I have issues with.

Almost all of the homes we looked at here have a separate shower and tub in the master bathroom. There's a nice big tub and a glass enclosed shower on the end. At first that seemed handy. I think it could be for some people. You know, if one likes to take baths and the other likes to shower, you could both do so at the same time and not be in each other's way.

But I don't like taking baths. At all. Only on my most very sick and achy days does it even sound slightly appealing. Matt never takes baths either. Our bathtub has been used a grand total of two times in the last two and a half years. There are three unfortunate things about this. 1. The already limited space in our bathroom is not put to good use. 2. Though I shower daily, I hate our shower because it's a tiny cramped box squished on the side of the tub, and the water gets in my eyes because I can't back up in the shower. I HATE water in my eyes. 3. Our tub's heat regulator is busted because we haven't used it. Weird, I know. I didn't know that would happen either.

When I was at a friend's yesterday, she showed me what the previous owners of their house did with the bathtub/shower. They turned the shower into a linen closet (something we don't have in our house and another one of my issues) and added a shower to their nice big tub. That sounded fabulous to me! I don't know how much it would cost, but I totally want to look into it.

Another thing we've found difficult about this house is the lack of open wall space. There are a lot of windows, which is great. But between the windows and the fireplace, we really are very, very limited in furniture placement in our living room. Add to that mixture my piano and we're screwed. At the moment we're making it work. The one open wall in our living room has our piano and 20 in. TV squished together. It makes for a tight corner when rounding into the kitchen, but it works. We'd like to upgrade our TV at some point and actually have some sort of entertainment center with doors we can child proof. The only way I can see that working is if we somehow demo the fireplace. It's brick and juts out into the room. If we could take out the brick and replace it with flush tile, we could cover up the front of the fireplace with something temporary (I mean, we are in Texas. A fireplace isn't really necessary, but I wouldn't want to take it out completely or do anything too crazy for resale purposes.) and put a TV/entertainment center directly in front of the fireplace.

I told Matt last night that one way we could solve our space issues is to turn our garage into a second living area (it's actually done quite a bit here), and turn part of our side yard into a covered carport (never seen this, but most people here don't have yards big enough...).

He said we ought to be content with what we have.

Oh, if only it were that easy...

"Next thing you know he'll be starting a band"

I bet my brother-in law Th. didn't know how true his comment was! (Oh, and please don't mind Dean's mismatched PJ's.)

Svithing the Plan

Sunday I had the opportunity to teach in Relief Society. I love teaching in church for various reasons. It is, perhaps, my most favorite calling ever. While I wish I could get myself to do all of my scripture study as in depth as I do for a lesson, I don't. I love that it gives me motivation to try and understand a subject well enough that I can field questions confidently (and competently) as well as explain concepts well enough that others can find comfort and understanding as I have.

This week's lesson was on The Great Plan of [Salvation, Redemption, Happiness, God]. I hope that you all get a chance to read it.

(Now, what I say next is not to boast or compare myself to anyone. I know I am nothing without God.) Gospel understanding has always come easy to me. It has just always made sense. In my patriarchal blessing it says I "have the an eager mind and the ability to store wisdom and to understand and grasp the mysteries of the gospel." I know I don' t know all of the mysteries of the gospel. Not even close. I know that there are a lot more lessons for me to learn and that I've merely scratched the surface. That is why I get really excited to discover new (to me) doctrinal principals.

I was a bit blown away while reading this lesson. Yes there were a lot of things I'd heard my whole life, but there were some things I'd never even considered.

Take this for example:

"As the Lord liveth, if it had a beginning, it will have an end. All the fools and learned and wise men from the beginning of creation, who say that the spirit of man had a beginning, prove that it must have an end; and if that doctrine is true, then the doctrine of annihilation would be true. But if I am right, I might with boldness proclaim from the house-tops that God never had the power to create the spirit of man at all. God himself could not create himself. (emph. and italics added by me.)

Intelligence is eternal and exists upon a self-existent principle. It is a spirit from age to age and there is no creation about it. All the minds and spirits that God ever sent into the world are susceptible of enlargement.

The first principles of man are self-existent with God.

Okay, so I was with Joseph Smith up until this point, but what follows is what really made me stop and think. I'd never once considered this next little bit (though I should have since I've read the book of Abraham and it's right in there).

God himself, finding he was in the midst of spirits and glory, because he was more intelligent, saw proper to institute laws whereby the rest could have a privilege to advance like himself. The relationship we have with God places us in a situation to advance in knowledge. He has power to institute laws to instruct the weaker intelligences, that they may be exalted with himself, so that they might have one glory upon another, and all that knowledge, power, glory, and intelligence, which is requisite in order to save them in the world of spirits.

Now, here's where my mind started reeling. I thought, "Okay, so does this then mean that God our Father didn't actually have a Heavenly Father himself? Does this mean we were just immortal matter out in space from eternity to eternity until God our Father figured out how to organize everything?" I actually can't definitively give you an answer. It sure seems like that could be a plausible answer. That He is the first. However, after giving more thought to the subject, I can't disallow for the possibility that while we were intelligences with God, he very well could have had a mortal experience just as we are now having, by such gaining the knowledge necessary to instruct and organize instruct the spiritual matter which is now us.

I mean, if have the ability to become like God through His Plan of Salvation with the help of our Savior, Jesus Christ, then we will one day be Gods and Goddesses with the ability to create and organize worlds of our own. That statement could be then applied to us. Finding [myself] in the midst of spirits and glory, because he [I] was more intelligent [because of the mortal experiences I'd gained], saw proper to institute laws whereby the rest could have a privilege to advance like [myself].

I found this very fascinating indeed.

Okay, now on to the lesson.

Besides the Intelligence point, it focused on the beginning of the Plan of Salvation. The pre-mortal existence, the war in heaven, earth, and agency.

We spoke about how Lucifer was a noble spirit. He was a spirit of great enough light that he was in a position to actually have a plan to present. On the surface, his plan looked enticing (hey, that's how he still operates). Everyone makes it back safely. No one is lost. The credit and glory would be all his. This disallows for agency. He's also on a power trip wanting God's power and glory essentially. (Now isn't this an interesting aside point. If he'd followed Jesus Christ, come to earth, received a body and become exalted he would have had the opportunity to be as God is without usurping his power and authority...)

One sister wondered if any of the host of heaven who followed him ever felt remorseful for the choice they made because Satan had "pulled the wool over their eyes". Here's how I feel about that: Before them stood Lucifer, Christ, and God. On the one hand you have Lucifer who was a pretty influential, clever, intelligent and bright being. On the other hand you have Christ and God who are more intelligent and more full of light and are unified. The souls who chose to follow Satan were physically in the midst of God when they did so. To be a Son of Perdition you have to have a sure knowledge of God and then deny Him. They had their agency. Satan did not force. Just as he couldn't force people to do good and return, he can't force people to do bad. We cannot blame him for all the bad done in the world. People are agents who move closer to God or closer to Satan with every choice, thought, and decision they make.

On with the lesson, one of the other points that kept coming to my mind while I was preparing had to do with bodies. Joseph S. says, "We came to this earth that we might have a body and present it pure before God in the celestial kingdom. The great principle of happiness consists in having a body. The devil has no body, and herein is his punishment." The thing that kept coming to my mind after reading this was: It's so easy, especially for women, to despise our bodies. To be frustrated with our appearance. It's easy to think "I'm too [fat, short, tall, skinny, ugly, etc.]". But really, those thoughts are planted by a jealous and bitter opponent. "The devil has no body, and herein is his punishment." Our bodies are gifts from God. Without them we could not share Eternal Life with Him. Our responsibility is to love, respect, and take care of our bodies as best as we can. To not abuse it with drugs, illicit sexual relations, and other such things that defile. It is to present it pure before God. That is all he asks.

And with that I must end. Dean just woke up from his nap. So without proof reading this, I will now post it. Please forgive me for the errors that are surely here.

Crazy 8's

8 TV shows I watch
Some of these we actually watch on Matt's computer on the weekends in stead of movies...
The Reaper
Burn Notice
Battlestar Galactica (waiting for the end of the final season, so this won't be on the list much longer)
Are you smarter than a 5th grader
Heroes
The Office
Pushing Daisies
Iron Chef America (Occasionally)

8 Favorite Restaurants
Sadly, most of our favorite restaurants are not located anywhere near us...
Bajio Grill (Good cheap Mexican food)-UT
Bombay House (Indian)-UT
Cafe Rio (Only ever eaten their grilled chicken salad..love it with the tomatillo dressing)- UT
Dumpling House in Chinatown- NYC (If you ever go, their veggie stuffed sesame pancake sandwiches are just about the most scrumptious food ever...)
Taco Bell if we go the fast food route
Jimmy Johns
Which wich
(Verona Italian?) The Italian Place inside Stay's Furniture in the next town over has BY FAR the best pizza we've eaten in TX.

8 things that happened yesterday
Woke up to Dean crying at 5. Didn't go in until 6:30.
Taught Relief Society The Great Plan of Salvation. (It was one of my favorite lessons yet.)
Made Chicken Taco Soup and Brownies
Made dough for Lavash Bread to go with our dinner tonight
Played Rockband with Matt
Took a walk around the neighborhood with Dean
Watched an episode of The Reaper with Matt
Talked with my mom on the phone

8 things I look forward to
The holiday season
Matt's parents' visit for Dean's birthday
Evenings once Dean's asleep
Fridays since I have no piano lessons
Possibly going to Scotland
Cooler and less humid weather
Dean walking and talking
Hearing from friends and family

8 things I love about fall
Sugar pumpkins for baking yummy things and freezing the puree for later baking if I have extra
Making Pies and other holiday food
Jackets, Sweaters, and Pants
Snuggling up under blankets and reading
Holiday crafts and decorations
Cooler weather
Halloween costumes and pumpkin carving
Leaves changing colors, though that doesn't really happen here...

8 things on my wish list
New furniture
New TV
New flooring (carpeting, wood, tile)
A house big enough to have a piano room separate from the living room
A good swing set or pool for our big backyard
A pedicure
A storage shed
Time and/or a place to practice the piano without the fear of waking Dean up

Like always, I don't tag anyone else. So, feel free to do it if you need something to blog about!

The annual trim

This is usually how I feel before and after I've gone in for my annual hair cut. (Yes, I generally only get my hair cut once a year. Sometimes twice, but certainly no more than that.)

The number 1 thing I hate about Texas!

FIRE ANTS!!!!!

I've hated them since my freshman year of college when my biology teacher (who was a transfer from TX) talked about them incessantly (and of course tested on everything he never spoke of). It was the only class in which I ever received a C. Stupid fire ants.

It is the season for fire ants here. It's practically impossible to keep up with all of the mounds that pop up all over our gigantic yard. The mounds arise almost instantaneously and will get gigantic quickly if not treated.

I decided to do a little yard work during Dean's nap yesterday and was bit 4-5 times while mowing. I was constantly moving and only near an active mound (that I know of) once. The little buggers hurt like heck! They leave a much worse souvenir than mosquitoes. The bite kind of puffs up like a hive at first, then turns red on the perimeter, and then there's a white tip in the middle that kinda looks like a zit. They itch and burn (hence the name FIRE ant) for awhile. This morning I was out cleaning up. I was only out for less than a minute and was not even near a mound (that I know of) and was bit again! It really makes me paranoid about letting Dean play outside. I never let him play on the grass and I'm constantly on the look out for ants coming near him while on the sidewalk.

Next year I think I may push for an all yard treatment by a professional pest control company. It may be pricey, but with a toddler to worry about, I think it will be worth it.

Look ma! No hands!

Well, yesterday and today Dean has been standing hands-free. He's tried twice to take one step, but he generally just does a front trust-fall knowing I'll catch him. He is very aware that he is standing on his own, and he gets excited and starts flapping his arms and hyperventilating. It's very fun. (As you can see, he's still a MAJOR drooler. I can't wait for that phase to pass!)

This is just another example of the funny faces he pulls. What a crack up.

Kids' music parents can listen to

Recently I've been on the hunt for good kids' music. It all started when I was in the kids' section at Walmart where they have music snippets blaring away. Dean was going crazy for it (I couldn't tell if it was the music or the flashing number telling which piece was playing). But boy was it annoying music! A couple years ago my brother made a mixed CD for my siblings with children of songs that kids like that parents can listen to as well. I didn't have kids at that point, so I don't have the CD (I'm sure I could request it). Anyway, I've been searching out music and I've come up with some interesting finds.

So far one of my favorite artists is Elizabeth Mitchell's You are My Little Bird. I think I may just download the whole CDs rather than pick out songs here and there. It is nice and mellow. (You are My Flower doesn't seem bad either, but I don't think I want the whole CD.)

Some funny songs include Barenaked Ladie's I don't Like and Crazy ABC's on the Snack Time CD.

Although Amazon didn't have a preview of the songs, I may just buy Jazz for Kids. I love, love, love Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong so I hope I'd like their (and similar artists') kids' music.

They Might Be Giants have a lot of kids' songs (as well as songs not made for kids but are apropriate for them to listen to). Among my favorites so far are No! and Istantbul (Not Constantinople)

I'm still looking. Anyone have favorite CD's (or songs) for kids that you enjoy as well?

Cloth Conundrum Follow Up

Remember a couple months ago when I said I wanted to try cloth diapering? I was going to do a cloth trial when I got back from Snowflake, but I just haven't.

My original desire to switch arose from a frustration with disposables. I'd tried Costco, Walmart, Target, Pampers, Luvs, and Huggies. Huggies worked the best until size 3. Once he hit 3's, nothing seemed to fit right and he was having blow outs like crazy. I have friends who happily do cloth diapering and swear they have less blow outs and problems than they did with disposables. I thought it was worth a try. Well, right before I left for Snowflake I decided to give Pampers another try. The Pampers 1 and 2 were so horrible I didn't want to, but I was desperate. To my surprise, Pampers Cruisers were WAY better than the swaddlers. They actually fit and we've only had 1-2 leaks in the past couple months.

Finding a disposable that actually worked slowed my cloth search. I still would like to try, but I am feeling like the optimal cloth learning phase has passed. It's practically impossible to get a disposable on him let alone learn how to do cloth properly and snugly! He's super-de-duper wiggly and often escapes naked bumed. I have to set him down 2-3 times before I can get his diaper on. If I went the bumGenius route like I wanted to originally, it wouldn't be that big of a deal to learn. They're a lot like disposables. However, they're quite expensive (though in the end would be cheaper than continuing disposables) and I've heard they generally don't last more than 2 kids because the leg elastic comes loose. The better option for longevity and cost is Chinese prefolds with snappies.

So, at the moment I'm feelings like I might just wait until our next kid to try cloth. Maybe I'll change my mind again, though. Who knows?

I just had to! (Matt through the years)

I was reduced to tears 3 or 4 times while making these. I can't tell you how much fun I had! If you want to do it yourself, the site is yearbookyourself.com

He was pretty hot through the 70's (boy we'd have made a great pair then if we'd been alive!!), but the 90's were not kind to him...

1952

1960

1970


1974

1984

1990

1996

Funny faces through the years

My sister had this on her blog and I thought it was pretty funny. I used a few different photos, and some worked better than others. I had to photoshop some of my original hair out of one of my pictures to make it work, '66 and '78 are my favorites. (As a reference point, I was born in 1981 and I graduated in 1999.) Gosh, the '80s were pretty horrible...

1952


1966


1968


1978

1980


1982


1996

Things I made

Here are a few pictures of things I've made recently.

A cute fabric pumpkin.
My friend Erin created the pattern and template which can be found here.

Festive Halloween Wall Art
(This idea and template also credited to that crafty Erin.)

Cantaloupe from our garden. Also, a totally DIVINE vanilla syrup.
(I will post the recipe on my cooking blog tomorrow.)

Hamburger and hotdog buns per a request of Matt.
These were some tasty burgers, and the buns were WAY better than store bought.

And this little guy. He just couldn't be left off my list.

Change is in the air

Well, we had a nice overcast/rainy day again, and it made me feel like fall just around the corner. I wanted my background to reflect the new season. Matt thinks I change it way too often, but I just get bored of it when I see it everyday for extended periods of time. Plus I never get to rearrange furniture, so this is my outlet for change.

I tried something new, so once again I have to ask.

Honestly, does this hurt your eyes? It's pretty bright. Is it hard to read? It won't hurt my feelings.

Attempts at communication

Yesterday was my first Monday of fall lessons since last Monday was a holiday. I have been dreading Mondays because I have 2 hours of lessons that go right up until Dean's bedtime. He did really well during the first hour. He ate his dinner, played with toys, dumped out all of our recycling, etc. At 5 he started getting a little needier and luckily for me, daddy came home and took him. I don't think Dean counts himself lucky. He did ok for the first 15 min. And then he cried inconsolably for 40 min. The last five min. Matt got him a cheese stick to help distract and calm him down. At that point I could hear him in the other room saying, "Dada. Ok. Ok. gagagagagaga." The tone he was using clearly indicated his attempt at conveying an important message. He did that a couple of times with me after my lessons were over.

I have a feeling is going to be a very communicative child. Just shy of 11 months, I am pretty sure he's learned to say (though doesn't necessarily know the meaning and context completely) thank you, ok, mama, dada, cracker, yogurt, and drink. If I ask him to turn the light on or off he understands and complies, even if I don't show him or he's not facing the light switch. He gets excited if I tell him we're going outside. He waves a lot more and will even wave to his daddy now without promptings.

He anticipates things. Often when he's eating he'll close his eyes, open his mouth, and hold out his hands while waiting for me to bring the spoon in. Tonight when I was nursing him before bed, at the very end he started giggling. Right after his giggle, he gives me a sly look and bites me (not too hard, just testing me for a reaction I think)! I found it so funny, but I had to keep myself from laughing because he was totally anticipating a reaction.

From belly to knees

Well, my mom reminded me that I hadn't taken/posted a video of him crawling on his knees yet. So, this is a really quick video to demonstrate his "real" crawl as opposed to the army crawl he used for about 2 months. His knees are always rug burned.

No, no Dean!

Dean's actually crawling on his knees now instead of just army crawling (though his army crawl was quite fast). He's also able to "run" while holding onto things. He's no longer content with me holding him or sitting in the grocery cart while we're out shopping. He wants to be down on the ground. Not always easy. He makes quick getaways when I'm changing his diapers. Tonight he got away before I got his new diaper on. I said, "No, no Dean. We need to get a diaper on you before you pee on the carpet or something." And then, as if on cue, he peed on the floor. Well, mostly on one of his library books and partially on the floor. Gross!

It seems like we're constantly telling him no or pulling him away from objects that shouldn't be chewed or pulled. We definitely need to baby proof better. I decided to document his naughty behavior and catch him red handed on camera.

He loves my sandals. SICK! We have a pile of shoes at our front door and he always goes straight to my sandals. They immediately go in his mouth.
Another favorite location is the phone table. I just got a magazine organizer since they were originally just stacked underneath. He'd pull them out and walk on them and rip them up with his feet.

Ug! and my glasses!! These were new in April, but I don't know if they will survive for 2 years (the next time I can get glasses on my insurance). Oh would that I could get lasik.

He's taken to biting me as well. (Didn't get a picture of that!) He thinks it's a big game. I've yelled in startled protest. I've even flicked under his chin since my sister said that worked for her kids. But he just smiles and thinks it's so funny. He bites my bare chest just under my collar bone. Maybe I need turtle necks (in this weather? Ha! I can't even stand them in winter!).

Oh, and though this isn't related to the pictures, we started making him sleep "through the night" without a 4-5AM feeding. He wakes up between 6 and 7 now, but I won't go in before 6:30. He's usually really good about it.







































How can I be upset for long while looking at this face??? (I'm usually not upset, but Matt gets a little bugged when he's in the computer room and CONSTANTLY going for no-no's. Any tips for baby proofing computers and cords and the like?)

An interesting linky-link of the political type

Matt showed me this today. I didn't check all the reference pages it listed to verify that all of these were taken in their proper context, but it was interesting to see Obama's and McCain's promises and proposals side by side. It's obviously a right winger who posted it, so take that into consideration. I particularly found the tax thing freaky...

Oh, and tonight I saw a breakdown on how expensive McCain's wife's yellow convention outfit cost. $280,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That makes me sick.


And I thought $100 on jewelry was frivolous.

Convention

Does anyone else have a hard time visualizing either of our Presidential candidates as THE PRESIDENT? Neither of them seem very Presidential to me.

After watching the Republican convention last night and tonight, here are a few of my thoughts:

• It's very weird to see grown people in suits shouting "U-S-A" every minute or so like they were at football game.
• I have come to really dislike the overuse of the word "Maverick".
• The more I see and hear Palin, the more I like her. Strategic choice. Risky, but it just may pay off. I actually enjoyed hearing her speak.
  
• The more I see and hear of Biden, the less I like him. I would be second guessing my choice if I were Obama. Did you see Biden cut Obama off as he was talking to a reporter? The guy needs to shut up and realize that HE is not the Presidential candidate. I think that if they're elected, he will undercut Obama's ideas and decisions and that he will try and run the White House as a back seat driver. Sure he "makes up for" Obama's lack of experience, but I also think it really emphasises his lacking experience.
• Don't most of these speeches feel like someone running for a High School office? It feels like people promise a lot of stuff they'd never really be able to deliver.
  

Somebody call the Waaambulance

This morning I started a ranting post about silly things. Tonight as I think about it, I amaze myself with how very superficial (and American?) my complaints were.

You see, I went to a Lia Sophia party (think Pampered Chef party but with cute and trendy jewelry instead of cooking stuff) the other night. While those who have met me in the last 10 years might find it odd, I did at one point in time wear make up, necklaces, and dangly earrings. My interest in such things just petered out over the years.

But there's still a bit of a girly-girl inside of me that enjoys those things, and she was bursting to get out after that party!

There were a handful of pieces I wanted. The total would have run me just over $100 (with the discounts) for the 3 top items on my list. For someone who's never actually purchased anything nicer than Claire's junk jewelry, just thinking about spending that much for 3 items made me want to gag. But they were so cute! And with a lifetime guarantee!! I went back and forth all weekend like I had the little angel and devil on my shoulders.

The little devil: Buy them. Your previous frugality makes up for this one purchase.

The little angel: You don't need them. Your money will be better spent (or saved) elsewhere.

The little devil: But you really could use a little sprucing up. You're not a poor college kid any more. You can afford a necklace or two.

The little angel: How often will you really wear them anyway???

Me: Fine. FINE! I won't get any jewelry.

*shed a tear and feel sorry for myself*

Seriously. I shed a tear and felt sorry for myself. And then I started a blog rant about how how I'm sick of living like I have no money to spare, etc. etc.

And then I remembered one line from that Saturday night Stake Conference meeting (I'm telling you, it really was a good meeting). Someone was talking about money and spending:

"Financial well being isn't a function of income but of the relationship of income to expenditure. Don't live during the up times as though they will never end."

So, even though I can afford them now that doesn't mean I deserve them or need them. (Most of us really don't want what we truly deserve. Thank heavens for the atonement!) It doesn't mean that down the road I'd be able to afford them either. Who knows what's in store?

And then I started thinking about how blessed I am that it's even an issue of should or shouldn't I buy this necklace. At least it wasn't "Can I or can't I afford to feed my family today?". Necklace or no necklace, I have it pretty good.

(Matt said it was my decision. Now, I don't really think it would have been that big of a deal if I'd bought it, but honestly, it wasn't necessary right now. Maybe I'll find something of theirs I like on ebay sometime for cheap.)