Thursday, October 08, 2009

My smart guy

I love my little guy. I'm happy to be his mom.

As I mentioned in the last post, my parenting books came. I'm simultaneously reading "1-2-3 Magic" and "Parenting with Love and Logic". Both are very good so far. I started using the 1-2-3 method today (I felt it would work better with a younger person than the "uh-oh song" in Love and Logic, plus I felt I could easily remember it since I'm re-training myself!) and it was a fabulous day. I feel much better about this "time out" situation than what I was doing previously.

If he misbehaves I say, "that's 1" (with no emotion and no lecture). I wait 5 seconds and if he stops, I stop. If he continues misbehaving I say, "that's 2". If he stops, I stop and we continue doing what we were doing. If he continues misbehaving I say, "that's 3. take 5." and I take him to his room and shut the door. I am perfectly content with him playing in his room with his toys. The time out is mostly to cool down and be removed from the negative situation. Now, you're supposed to leave him in there for 5 min., but I just held the door for a min. to make sure he didn't try and get out immediately (he tried to every time) and left. When he came out on his own (usually about after 2 min. total of being in, which is fine with me), he was very apologetic (on his own) every time. I didn't discuss his wrong doing or give him any lectures. I just happily welcomed him to participate in whatever I was doing at the moment. I saw significant improvement and he did not repeat many of the behaviors that he got put into "time out" for after he went to his room. It seems so simple yet I felt much more in control of myself, and he seemed more in control of himself. Magic I tell you.

We also started the bed transition today. He's been asking to sleep in the toddler bed the last couple of days. I tried twice this week and he came out both times and I put him in his crib as a result. Today I told him (well, actually he told me) that if he came out even once he'd go into his crib for nap. Well, he didn't come out once! I heard him talk and sing abcs and play with toys for about 30-40 min., but then came the quiet. I don't know if he slept on the bed or floor (though I think it was bed). He slept about 40 min. and when I heard him talking again, I went to let him out. The door was locked. haha. I knocked on the door, he unlocked it, and went back to sit on his bed! His room was a little more disheveled than when I left, and his bed had acquired a couple shoes and books, but all was well.

We had a great day together. This week has been really busy so we didn't go anywhere today. As a result I took a few more videos for your viewing pleasure.

Here he tries to count to 20. It's pretty much down hill after 13, but I think it's a pretty darned good effort for my not quite 2 year old.
video

Here he helps me read "I can do it myself". This is mostly for adoring grandparents since it is kind of long (2:12)...

video

3 comments:

Amanda said...

I know of a parent who did the 1-2-3 magic and solved the getting out of bed problem by installing a little hook and latch on the outside of the door. They hardly had to use it after the first few times, because he knows if he gets out of bed they will have to use the hook to keep the door closed. They only use it for a few minutes at a time, and they always make sure it's not hooked during the night. I'm glad that you had a better day.

Lindsay said...

I think I'm going to have to try that 1-2-3 idea with Garrett. It might help solve a few of our own problems. :) I'm glad it's working for you and Dean!

We're trying to transition Garrett to the bed, too. It's been a looonnnggg process. We started trying when we got him his bed in June, and he's still mostly sleeping in his crib. Every night we'll ask him where he wants to sleep, and lately he's requested his bed. When he does, we'll usually give him a few tries (depending on how tired we are) to resist the temptation to play all night and just stay in his bed. When he seriously wants to sleep in his bed, he's does pretty well. However, when he wants to use his bed as an excuse to stay up later, he'll usually request to go back to his crib. We have one more round of visitors coming next week, but after that I think we're going to ditch the crib altogether. I'm planning to raise the crib mattress up and wash/put away all of Garrett's bedding from it so he'll know that it's no longer a place where he can sleep.

Jodi said...

Do you not think it is important to talk about the wrong action and why it is wrong so he can learn? I am just curious about your opinion here.