The emergence of a belly

I am officially past my 12 week mark and my belly is starting to bud. I am all for pregnant ladies wearing (nicely, not ill) fitted shirts and stylish outfits rather than trying to hide their emerging tummies.

Luckily I haven't really hit that awkward "they don't know I'm pregnant so I hope they don't think I'm just getting fat" stage since almost everyone I interact with regularly knows I'm preg-o. Today, however, is the first day I've had anyone comment about me actually looking the part. It wasn't only 1, but 3 co-workers who separately commented. I think it's part belly and part shirt choice. One woman was tactful, the other two not so much. But I know they all meant well, so I can't hold it against them.

8 AM "Oh, you're starting to show! How exciting!"
11:30 AM "Looks like you're starting to gain weight!"
3 PM "You have a pooch! Can I touch it?"

So it's been a little worrisome to me that I'll gain weight in places I can't blame on baby, so I'm trying not to obsess or stress. It doesn't help that every pregnancy book I've read has talked about eating enough (but not too much) and to gain weight (but not too much). They have ridiculous menus that, sure, would be good for anyone to convert to, but aren't all that realistic in my mind. Like sweetening muffins with juice concentrate rather than sugar, cutting out salt, etc. My mom suggested it is a swinging pendulum from the old days of "Eat on up! You're eating for two!!" or "You're pregnant, it's ok to eat a lot/ whatever you want."

I'll try and be smart, but I have to say it's been increasingly difficult to want to eat veggies other than cucumbers in my vinegar/salt brine and that delicious Olive Garden Salad.

Here's the "end of the 1st trimester" photo update so you can see for yourself.

Nasty little habits

Everyone (I'm generalizing and assuming here, and you know what happens when you assume...) has their own little list of pet peeves, annoying habits, or big time no-nos when it comes to interpersonal exchanges.

Since we all have our own personalities and our brains are all wired differently, our lists vary from person to person. This means our behaviors, personalities, and habits are likely to get under someone else's skin at one point or another. That's why I try to not get bent out of shape when someone finds that I'm not their BFF or their soul mate. Sometimes it's not just meant to be. And for every person who finds you more annoying than endearing, there's most likely someone who just "gets you". Now, there are people we love who have one or two "nasty little habits", but luckily our love outweighs our annoyance and we are able to get along 99.999% of the time.

I started thinking about this today when I checked my email to find 10 new messages in the last hour! "Holy emails!" I thought. I was hoping some spam distributor had not somehow hacked my account, rendering it useless and forcing me to change email. Luckily it was just one of my friends who I recently added to my contact list. She just sent me 10 forwards. And then I thought.

"Oh no! I have a forward frenzied friend! Must...stop...soon...before this gets out of hand..."

You see, this is on my list. I don't mind getting a forward on a very, very rare occasion if it comes from someone who knows me well enough to know what I'd find interesting. But how often is that really? Not very.

I very kindly let her know I didn't really care for forwards, but to keep me in her contacts because I care for to hear from her, about her. She was very understanding, and you know what?

She doesn't like forwards either.

Matt is great, he made me chocolate cake!

If you want to get technical, he actually made a "Better than Sex Cake." It is his long standing tradition for my birthday.

And what a good birthday it was (yesterday). I'm a whopping 26. More than a quarter of a century. Lol.

I don't mind getting older (not like 26 is old!). I notice I don't know much, and realize how much less I knew in previous years! Is that what makes you wiser? Knowing you don't know everything?

It was quite a pleasant day (except for the cold temperatures and a headache that plagued me half the day) that started with a testimony meeting/brunch with some Relief Society sisters. There were only 12 that showed up, but it was very nice indeed. Plus the food was great.

After that I went all over in search of a new Easter dress. I haven't bought church clothes in years and I really wanted to find something cute. I struck out at 5 stores and ended up finding 2 dresses at (where other than) Ross. They are very similar patterns and styles, but one is brown/white while the other is black/white. I'm happy. After wearing the new black/white one to church, I decided that "black and white" is the new Easter pastel. I imagined I'd see people wearing pinks, yellows, and purples to church today. But no, there were TONS of women in black and white patterned outfits.

Anyway, back to the birthday...we went to Blades of Glory (starring John Heder and Will Ferrell). It was funny overall. But if you're sensitive to sexual innuendo (not action, just talk), beware of Will Ferrell's character who's a "recovering sex addict".

Dinner was delightful. Olive Garden. I go there every couple of years for the salad dressing. YUM. I swear I could drink that stuff. So vinegary and salty.

Our after dinner party consisted of the afore mentioned cake and presents. It was one of the coolest years EVER for presents. Seriously. It was my first year making an Amazon wish list. I only could come up with 11 items to begin, but figured that was plenty to choose from and enough for me to be surprised.

My parents sent me some Isagenix shakes which were appreciated. They always leave me feeling nice and satisfied after drinking them.

To my surprise, my in-laws got me 3 items off my list.

1. The Cosby Show season 1
2. The Cosby Show season 2
3. Beatles Love album

I can't tell you how excited I am about all three of those. The Cosby show is one of my all time favorite shows. When we were kids we knew we were going to cut off the cable so we taped a season of The Cosby Show. Man those were good times.

I thought Matt would get me a CD or something from my Amazon list, but he REALLY surprised me with a SWEET new mp3 player. It's a sansa express and is supposed to give the IPOD shuffle a run for its money. It's small, light weight, awesome, and he also got me an athletic case I can wear on my arm when I run. It's the first "direct connect" USB mp3 in existence, so you don't have to worry about cables or chargers. It's 1 GB but can be expanded to 3 GB with an additional memory card. I've wanted an mp3 player for years, but always figured they're too expensive. This one just came out and it's very reasonably priced. But even better, Matt had a Best Buy gift card from work so it was essentially FREE!! Woo hoo!

After cake and presents we watched (or rather Matt watched and I partially watched while I was in and out of consciousness) Shaolin Soccer. It's such a funny movie but I was soooo tired.

What a good birthday though. I'm a lucky girl.

Just admit it already

When people ask me how I've been feeling, I generally tell them I've felt pretty well. Not sick, a little unsettled at times, but overall I've been just peachy.

But I think I've been fooling myself a little. I mean, for the most part I do feel fine, but I have my moments, or hours sometimes. For instance, it was unpleasant doing dishes tonight and the smells of certain things were very unsettling. Like I wanted to throw up, but didn't actually do it, unsettled. Some may call this nausea. Why is it so hard for me to admit I'm nauseous?

When people at work first found out I was pregnant, they were great. A little too great. Like, they wanted to pamper me and kept telling me not to lift things like a ream of paper! Come on people. I'm pregnant, not handicapped!

I have a strong, proud streak running through me. I like to do things myself. I like to mow the lawn. I string grocery bags up and down my arms trying to get everything in one fell swoop. I like to help move furniture. When pulled over for speeding, I made a conscious decision to not do the crying girl thing to try and get out of it. I don't like being told I can't do something because I'm short, a girl, pregnant, etc. Somehow I think if I admit I've been a bit nauseous it weakens me in others' eyes, that they'll baby me even more than they already are.

But I'll say it now. I'm nauseous. Just don't coddle me too much please.

General Conference

I love General Conference. This round seemed especially good. I only slightly dozed during one talk on Saturday afternoon and a prayer today. It was a long prayer. Sheesh.

Highlights:
Saturday
Elder Holland reminding us how important words are. Negative words about ourselves and others have a greater impact than we realize. I need to be better about criticizing less and keeping my speech KTN (kind, true, and necessary).

Elder Bednar relating becoming born again with making pickles. Boy did I want to make pickles after his talk was over. Seriously. It's a good thing we tilled up a garden area for us in our back yard last week. I'm going to grow me some cucumbers and make me some pickles. Oh, and hopefully I'll work more on saturating myself more in the scriptures and becoming a better disciple of Christ.

Sunday
President James E. Faust gave one of the best talks I've ever heard on forgiveness. I'm pretty forgiving by nature and I've only ever harbored black, angry feelings against three people that I can think of. But those didn't last, thank heavens, and I can seriously say I have no seething animosity toward anyone. Good thing since those feelings hurt us most in the long run. They distort our perception of reality and we are victims of our own anger. It also made me excited that I'll get to go to Amish country in May.

President Hinckley made me think again on the nature of God. I am continually amazed that anyone who reads and believes the bible also believes in the Trinity version of God as opposed to the Father, Son and Holy Ghost as three separate and distinct beings. Also, what an amazing and funny man. And 97 years old!!

Elder Eyring gave a great talk on procrastination. I can't tell you how often I think things like, "I'll be better about X when Y happens." Ok, ok. I get it. I need that someday to be today so I will be better for it tomorrow.

The little kumquat lives

There's no denying it. I received medical proof today that my little kumquat (that's how big the baby is right now) is real and not just a figment of my imagination. Yesterday marked 10 weeks into my 40 week hosting party. At the end of my visit my baby had its first karaoke party with the help of some gel and a special mic. It was a cute little heart beat. I called Matt and had him listen too.

My body's already changing. Though I'm not "showing" to an untrained eye, the once only flat spot on my entire body is not quite so flat. It's pretty exciting.

I've learned to never take a prenatal vitamin in the middle of the night if you wake up and remember you forgot to take it before bed. Not good at all. Unless you like throwing up in the middle of the night.

I nap during the day! I generally sleep during both of my 15 min. breaks at work and sometimes even during part of my lunch hour. I never knew I could be so tired and simultaneously sleep so poorly at night.

One thing I'd not expected was an aversion to sugar. Just hasn't sounded good at all. Except sour candy on occasion. But cookies, cake, ice cream, granola bars (except kashi), yogurt, and chocolate have sounded quite unappealing thus far. On the other hand, string cheese, artisan bread, eggs, potatoes and refried beans, and all sorts of fruit have all sounded pretty good for the most part. I get sooo hungry so frequently. At least I get full quickly now too. I eat about 6 or so small meals now.

Speaking of which, it's time for my second dinner. Or is this my third?

100 thing about me--on the installment plan: Part 4

This is the final installment. If you'd like to review the previous 3 parts, please see part 1, 2, and 3

76. The fist year Matt and I were married I made him handle all meat.
77. Then I got a job as a professional cook where I had to handle up to 8 lbs. of ground beef by myself at one time. Sick. But I got over it enough to do what I needed to do.
78. I hate sleeping with the top sheet tucked in tightly.
79. I often find myself complaining about systems and roads being poorly designed...a friend suggested I should have become an engineer. Maybe I should have...
80. On Hartman's color code personality test I am primarily blue with red as my secondary. I find that to be pretty accurate.
81. I bawled in Little Women but didn't shed a tear in Titanic.
82. I'll often start a baking project to find I don't have everything I need. I'm pretty decent at finding substitutes that work well.
83. I've never eaten more than 2 small bites of a steak.
84. I do believe in global warming and cooling.
85. I don't believe that humans are the primary cause (or even a true secondary cause) for that warming or cooling. I very much agree with this documentary. (It's long, but if you ever have time, it is very worth the watch in my opinion.)
86. I get annoyed when people say that anyone who believes in Christianity or a Supreme being is ignorant or stupid. Very annoyed.
87. I've always been wary of "empirical studies" and "peer reviewed material" as a definitive source of truth.
88. Mainly because I think data can be skewed to "prove" any desired result.
89. I think clowns are a little scary.
90. Maybe that's because I watched Steven King's movie IT when I was about 10. Freaked me out. I vowed to never again watch a movie of that genre.
91. I love the gingerbread from SouperSalad.
92. My hair was not curly until after I hit puberty.
93. The only movie I've ever walked out on was What Lies Beneath. The previews were enough to make me want to leave. I didn't make it through 5 minutes of the actual movie.
94. I love, love, love to be rubbed. (Shoulder rubs, head rubs, back rubs, foot rubs. You name it, I love it.)
95. I had bad migraines in high school.
96. It used to take me anywhere from 1-2 hours to fall asleep after laying down in bed. Marriage somehow cured me of that.
97. I dyed my hair red for 5 years. One time my mom forgot it wasn't my natural color.
98. I am very happy in my marriage, and I'm sad when other people are cynical about marriage.
99. My freshman roommate really disliked me and didn't talk to me the last two months we lived together.
100. I am very blessed to be a part of my family. I love my parents, siblings, cousins and grandparents. I only wish we could see each other more often.

I know this one!

I teach Sunday School to the 5 year olds who turn 6 this year.

Two weeks ago we had a lesson on Prophets. I had a lot of pictures of Old Testament, Book of Mormon, and latter-day Prophets. I'd give about 5 clues about the Prophet and say, "who am I?" The kids would then guess and point out the picture.

They found the right picture every time, but they didn't always know who the Prophet actually was. One kid continually guessed Joseph Smith (even on the clue "I was the very first Prophet. My wife's name was Eve. I was the first man on earth."). When I finally came to Joseph Smith's clues, that kid raised his hand and said, "Oo! Ooo! I KNOW this one!" Wanting to give him a chance to finally be right, I called on him.

"GEORGE WASHINGTON!!!!" was his enthusiastic response. It was so cute I couldn't help from laughing a little.

Me: "No, no.. your other guess Eddie."
Him: "But I know he was the first President."
Me: "You're very right. He was the first President of the United States. We sometimes call the Prophet the President of the Church, but he's not the President of the United States. Who was the first Prophet after the restoration?"
Him: "Joseph Smith?"

100 things about me--on the installment plan: Part 3

If you missed them and would like to know more about me, please see part 1 and part 2.

51. It makes me uncomfortable to watch people sing up close. Especially really sappy emotional singers that do a lot of weird stuff with their facial expressions and close their eyes a lot.
52. The summer after my senior year of High School I bought a photo enlarger and developing equipment thinking I'd one day have my own dark room.
53. That equipment is still sitting at my parents' house and I never have used it. If anyone wants it and is in northern AZ, I'm looking to give it away.
54. I submitted a portfolio for the BYU photography major but wasn't accepted.
55. I'm allergic to the cold. I get hives.
56. The worst job I ever had was working at a tomato farm picking suckers 9 hours a day. That lasted only 2 weeks.
57. The closest I ever came to getting in a fight was during an 8th grade city league basketball game.
58. I quit playing basketball in 10th grade because I didn't like how angry and intense I could get.
59. If someone tells me I can't/shouldn't do something I think I should be able to do, I set out to prove them wrong.
60. I was a frequent sleep talker and walker as a child.
61. I tend to freak out (unknowingly) if Matt comes to bed after I'm asleep. I sit up, hyperventilate, and/or speak rapid gibberish. I generally don't remember much of those episodes the next morning.
62. Sometimes I flip ahead in books I'm reading and read a random page or paragraph to see who's still important at that point.
63. I easily forget plots, twists, and outcomes of movies and books. I can re-watch and re-read almost anything at least once and still be genuinely surprised.
64. I've read every Mary Higgins Clark book. Some of them more than twice. I don't know what it is about her writing...
65. I generally like my body and have a good self-image.
66. I was going to get laser hair removal this year, but I don't think I can while I'm pregnant.
67. I would be happy with 11 months of temperatures ranging 65-75* and 1 month of sweater and hot chocolate weather.
68. Matt and I call each other by our names. We have no pet names. We don't even call each other honey or sweetheart. It's weird to even think about calling him that. lol.
69. I love adrenaline pumping activities like cliff jumping, fast roller coasters, and free falling.
70. I can get very fired up if I feel I or someone else has been belittled or unjustly berated.
71. I used to chew on pens until they were so bad I had to throw them away.
72. Once as a freshman I borrowed my biology teacher's pen and unconsciously chewed on the cap. I gave him back the pen without the cap and he freaked out. I think he swore at me if I remember correctly.
73. I participated in 2 scholarship pageants. (i.e. the county level of Miss America)
74. My parents were very sad when I chose to wear a 2-piece tankini the second year for swimsuit. I figured I'd rather people look at my tiny waist than my not so tiny thighs.
75. I was a mostly vegetarian for about 10-12 years. There is a little discrepancy as to whether I started that at age 7 or 9.

one more guys...I know you can't wait...To be continued

100 things about me--on the installment plan: Part 2

Please see part 1 if you wish to start from the beginning.

26. I chug rather than sip.
27. Room temp. water is my beverage of choice unless it's a really hot day or I am overheated; then I like a little ice.
28. At one family reunion I tried to get up on a wake board so long my hands couldn't grip the bar any longer. I never did get up.
29. The most torturous location in the mall is the perfume section of any department store. Sick.
30. The vast majority of my wardrobe comes from Ross. I swear I'm a walking advertisement for them.
31. I really enjoyed taking stats for my dad's JV baseball team in High School.
32. I was so obsessed with the idea of speaking at HS graduation I dropped a graphic arts class to take a physics class half way through my senior year to move up in the class standing.
33. It didn't really move me up much; I ended up 5th in my class and didn't speak
34. My mom said I stopped taking naps at about 1 year old.
35. I think my laugh is my most distinctive characteristic
36. Rachel Ray (Food Network) is VERY annoying and I get frustrated every time I watch her show. ("De-lish!" "We're making Fun-due today. That's what I call Fondue." "We just need a little EVOO. That's what I call Extra Virgin Olive Oil for those of you who don't know.")
37. If I'm retelling a conversation I had with someone, I like trying to imitate their voice. I'm not making fun of them, I just like to convey the whole experience.
38. Sometimes I'll tell people I agree with them even if I don't. I do this to avoid unnecessary squabble over trivial things.
39. I didn't own a pair of flat shoes (other than running/exercise shoes) from 1994-2003.
40. I always have dark circles under my eyes.
41. Once when I was a teenager, a dental hygenist jokingly told me I'd not need to floss since my teeth were spaced so far apart.
42. I took her seriously and I didn't floss once until I was 23.
43. I floss every night now.
44. I've never tried rubarb though I would like to.
45. Eating beets makes me feel like I'm going to throw up. It seriuosly made me gag.
46. In Jr. High I placed 2nd in regional shot put for my weight.
47. I had athlete's induced asthma in high school. I had an inhaler.
48. I can pass up sweets pretty easily.
49. Salty and sour foods are more temptatious for me.
50. Leno over Letterman hands down; it will be a sad day when Conan O'Brien takes over for him.

To be continued...

Journal Gems

Last night I was reading through a journal I had to keep for my 5th grade class. I was cracking up at my entries since most of them were notes to my teacher. My favorites include:

Aug. 28,1991
I have a poem for you.

Camels
Camels are strange anamals. [sic]
have you ever seen a camel?
Camels have a big hump.
It's like a water pump.
It can last for two days.
Maybe even two Mays.
One strange anamal is a camel.

Aug 29, 1991
I have another poem for you. =)

Waves
As I wait I watch and see.
The great waves as I sit there quietly.
I watch the great waves
Many watch them too.
Can it be the waves are saying peek-a-boo
The great waves pave the wonderful water.

Jan 27, 92
I have a game on Sat. at 2:00 pm if you want to come you can. I'll tell you where it is tommorow [sic].

May 8 (I was busting up over this one. Julie's only 3 years older than me.)
I read from 8:30 to 10 last night. Julie said she won't sign my assignment sheet anymore because it says PARENTS signiture [sic].

100 things about me--on the installment plan

I've seen a trend for my friends to post the "100 things about me" recently. I really enjoy reading the trivia, however, 100 in one sitting can be a little overwhelming. So I thought I'd do mine in installments.

1. I have been scared to tears by dogs. (within the past year even!)
2. I stopped wearing makeup on a regular basis about 4 years ago when Matt told me I look better without it. (easier, faster, and cheaper! That's how I like it!)
3. When Matt's gone, I like to crank up some music and sing while I clean.
4. I can't stand wearing nail polish of any kind. (toes and fingers alike)
   
5. I sweat more than most people, and I have since I was in 6th grade.
6. I only own a small "engagement ring." I was very specific about not wanting a second band or a big ring. I still very much like it that way.
7. I was extremely boy crazy from 1st grade until my sophomore year of high school.
8. Matt's the only boy I ever kissed after I was "legal" (over 16)
9. Matt was not the only boy I kissed!
10. Don't worry I can count them on one hand...
11. Cleaning the fridge has always been my least favorite chore.
    
12. Reebok is the only running shoe for me.
13. The TV is on in our house far more than it should be, even if it's on the Food Network the majority of the time!
14. I LOVE cooking but HATE figuring out what to cook
15. Math was my highest score on the ACT
16. I haven't taken a math class since high school
17. I love writing but have extreme difficulties placing commas correctly
    
18. Leadership and Self-Deception was the best/most life changing text I ever read for a class.
    
19. When I was little I often told people I'd be the first woman US President; I think I just wanted attention because I didn't know the first thing about politics.
20. Yangshuo China is the most beautiful place I've ever visited
    
21. I went through the Temple to receive my endowment at age 19. Unusual though it was since I wasn't getting married, nothing could have been more right for me at that time.
22. I love, love, love to dance--especially hot Latin ballroom dances like samba and cha-cha
    
23. I used to take pride in my arm wrestling abilities and arm strength
24. I now use that arm strength for sweet arm balance yoga poses rather than arm wrestling
25. In 5th grade, as a girl scout, I sold 150 boxes of cookies. For prizes I got a stuffed zebra, a shirt, a mug, and a patch. (And I only know this because of my journal.)
    

To be continued...

Svithe on my preoccupation: an explanation for my absence

I'll just spit it right out. I'm pregnant.

Wow that felt good. I've wanted to tell you ever since I found out last Monday, but Matt really wanted to wait till my first trimester was over. But who are we kidding here people? It's ME we're talking about! He does know, by the way, that I am writing this. I waited a week at least....

He and I have two very different ideas of communication. He likes to tell people things only when necessary. When it is necessary he keeps it to the very basics. He hates divulging personal information. I think he'd have a heart attack if he knew everything I put in our Christmas letters and my blogs. (But I'm not stopping him from reading them and editing out what he wants. He chooses not to read, so I choose to write what I want.) I try to restrain myself on very personal issues, but it is hard. I do that only because I love him. I, on the other hand, will tell my life story to someone I just met if I happen to feel a good vibe or connection upon our meeting. I don't like keeping secrets. I usually want everyone to know everything about me so they know what they're getting into.

Onto the svithe:
A miracle could be defined as "a marvelous event manifesting a supernatural act of God." Many people (Christians included) think miracles don't happen today. I beg to differ.

When we saw our specialist at the end of last year, we were told that it was highly unlikely that we'd get pregnant on our own; he said to get medical help rather than just pray for a miracle. I pretty much resigned myself to the fact that it would be a year, at the very least , before I'd be able to get pregnant. We took the necessary medical steps in the right direction, but continued praying all the while.

I've always had faith that things would work out like they're supposed to. I just got frustrated when I didn't know the plan. I knew we'd have kids, I just didn't know when, how, or what we'd need to do first to obtain them. God knows the plan for my life, but I wished he'd just let me in on the secret so I could get on with things.

I don't think the Lord really likes to be bossed around, so I kept the prayers to something like, "We're ready. Help us to know what to do. Thy will be done." I have faith the Lord can do anything. If it was His will, I'd have gotten pregnant immediately. "For with God nothing shall be impossible." (Luke 1:37) But it wasn't. So I just had to have faith that things were going the way they were supposed to. Some weeks were easier than others. I had a couple of cries. But overall I figured life would work out, and it is.

We got pregnant the week before any of the medical help. I think it was the Lord's way of reminding me He works miracles and that we need to pray for them when it seems most unlikely for them to occur. Such is the nature of a miracle.

Oh, and I'm due the last week of October as far as I can tell.

Who knew?

Tonight Matt asked me when I was getting my hair cut. I told him I hadn't set a specific date yet. He said, "You shouldn't get it cut. It should be long enough to put in a pony tail." (I wore it straightened in a pony today. A style I rarely do because I didn't think it was all that flattering on me.)

I just have to laugh since two weeks ago he told me he liked the meg ryan cuts the best on me.

It's taken me by surprise. I don't quite know what to make of it...

But I'll take the compliment.

Svithe: First comes love, then come marriage

With Valentine's Day this past week I have constantly been thinking about love, what it really means, and how love is applied in marriage.

I personally do not feel I need a material present or card for Valentine's Day. I don't ever buy a card for Matt and we don't always exchange gifts. I prefer giving the gift of good food (I have made it a tradition to make cheesecake for dessert) and receiving a thoughtful word or deed. It is nice to receive flowers, but mainly because I know he is trying to show me he cares. It is the gesture, not the flowers, that I most appreciate.

During his Feb. 14th monologue, Leno pointed out that Valentine's Day used to be more of an exchange of love and gifts between men and women, but recent advertising and promotions are geared toward women, women, women. Women need chocolate or flowers or diamonds. Women deserve a day of pampering for putting up with men. And men, you dare not forget it, or you will BE IN THE DOG HOUSE!

For some reason, none of that sits well with me. Maybe because I think it has turned from a day to honor your love into a day to honor yourself with selfish desires and demands. I think it is silly to demand gifts and even sillier to feel like a victim if you didn't receive what you wanted. Honestly, I think the acts of kindness and love on a random day mean more to me than those that come on a dictated holiday.

For instance, about two weeks ago I experienced one of my happiest weekends in my marriage. We both got off early on Friday because we had worked extra hours at the beginning of the week. We went to a dollar movie--we found that they actually do have a dollar theater here--where we watched Jet Li's Fearless (a surprisingly wonderful movie). After that we went to dinner at Jalapeno Tree, which turned out to be very second rate Mexican food. The next day we played racquetball together (where I lost horribly every time), and that night we rented The Illusionist. Not one of those things were AMAZING or expensive, but the spirit in which we did them was very gratifying. I very much felt his love for me and knew he wanted to be with me. That was better than any Valentine's Day chocolate, flowers, or diamonds, in my opinion.

I guess that brings me to the question "what is love?". Now, this is probably one of the most over answered questions in music, movies, poetry, and literature, but that will not stop me from giving you my schpeel on the subject today.

First off, if charity is the pure love of Christ, I'd imagine that is one of the types of love you would want to have for your spouse. To paraphrase 1 Corinthians 13:1-8: It means nothing if you speak in tongues, prophecy or understand all of the mysteries of the universe unless...; it doesn't matter if you can move mountains with your faith unless...; it is of no significance if you give everything you have to the poor or let your body be burned, unless you have charity.

Charity
1. suffers long (not in agony or as a victim, but is patient)
2. is kind
3. doesn't envy (or covet other's successes, good fortune or happiness)
4. vaunts not itself, is not puffed up (doesn't brag about own successes, good fortune or happiness; is not arrogant or "high maintenance")
5. doesn't behave unseemingly (inappropriately)
6. seeks not her own (isn't selfish but is concerned for others' well being)
7. is not easily provoked (doesn't get offended easily. not hypersensitive)
8. thinks no evil
9. rejoices in truth rather than sin
10. bear all things (including other people's burdens maybe?)
11. believe all things (Mosiah 4:9 "Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all things which the Lord can comprehend.")
12. hope all things
13. endure all things (with patience)

If we at least TRY to have charity for our spouse, I think our marriages would be all the better for it. They are not perfect. We are not perfect. The Lord is perfect and will help us along if we allow him. We just have to remember that our feelings, wants and needs are not inherently better or more important than our spouse's. They are people with feelings, wants and needs as well.

Lastly, I will end with probably my favorite quote. Gordon B. Hinckley, “A Conversation with Single Adults,” Ensign, Mar 1997, 58 (Quoting Jenkins Lloyd Jones in Big Rock Candy Mountains,” Deseret News, 12 June 1973, A4)

“There seems to be a superstition among many thousands of our young [men and women] who hold hands and smooch in the drive-ins that marriage is a cottage surrounded by perpetual hollyhocks to which a perpetually young and handsome husband comes home to a perpetually young and [beautiful] wife. When the hollyhocks wither and boredom and bills appear the divorce courts are jammed. …

“Anyone who imagines that bliss [in marriage] is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed. The fact is] most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. … Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”

Eat your hearts out chocolate lovers!

We just booked an anniversary trip (May 3rd will be our 4th anniversary!) to the sweetest place on earth, Hershey, PA. Well, we're actually going to fly in and out of Philadelphia, and our trip will technically start one day after our anniversary, but close enough. Since Matt served his mission in Philly (and since it is quite an historic city), we're going to spend a few days there partaking of the food wonders of the east coast and visiting cool places one might find in the Rocky movies...or history books.

After we've tired ourselves out there, we'll probably head to Reading, PA (the home of the Reading Railroad on the classic Monopoly board) to visit more people from his mission.

And from there we'll head over to Chocolate Town USA, the home of all things Hershey and my sister J.. This is their last year of her husband's medical residency, so we figured we needed to head over there before they head back west.

We'll be gone a little over a week. Hopefully we can figure out how to see my NY brothers while we're out that way.

Maybe we'll have a chocolate spa while we're there...

or not.

Lets just hope this anniversary trip treats our stomachs better than the Guatemala trip 2 years ago. Just say no to giardia!
*shiver in remembrance of one horrible (seemingly-never-ending) month of bowel issues following that trip*

Recovery

How many world renown surgeons do you know that call their patients the evening after surgery to make sure they're feeling ok? I know one.

Family History

My Grandma is a huge family history buff. She travels all over the country and calls people she's never met to find long lost ancestors' names and information. Last year she requested that her posterity write a simple personal history as a Christmas present to her. That little assignment was quite exciting to me.

A year or two earlier I received a book about my great-grandparents as a gift from my mom. I tried reading it once or twice, but was never interested enough to make it very far. One Sunday, however, I decided I should read it to tell my mom I'd read it. I began to read, and to my surprise, I didn't want to put it down. It was very well written, a lot of work had gone into it, and I was learning things about my family I'd never known. It was delightful.

After reading that book I started writing my own personal memoir. I jotted down a few memories, but lost interest after the first day. So when my Grandma requested, I decided it was good to pick up where I'd left off. By the end of the day I had a 25 page rough draft! I've recently felt the desire to make it more complete. Sometimes I'll have random things trigger memories I didn't know existed. I need to write those things down.

My mom just finished her 30 page life history and sent it to us today. I enjoyed it very much. Though I've known her my whole life, I learned things about her I never knew. The moral of the story is, it's good to write things down. Make it easy for future posterity who may be interested in finding you.

Back to square one and a half

Some of you probably remember that I've been waiting to hear about the HR Assistant position I interviewed for last November. At the end of December I was told I was still being considered for the position, but they were putting off hiring until they could get W-2's and the new time clock worked out. Since W-2's were due out last Wednesday, I decided to call and check on the status of the position after work on Friday.

"We're in a quandary [yes, she really did say the word quandary] over that position. You haven't been completely eliminated, but [my supervisor] is the one with the final decision. I wouldn't hang everything on the chance of getting this job. You should keep applying for other jobs in the county. If we are unable to fill that position by the time you're done at the property tax office [at the end of February], I might have you come over and try that position as a temp. and go from there."

It was pretty much what I expected. The woman who would actually be my supervisor liked me in the first interview. I could tell. Her supervisor was my second interviewer and I didn't have a good feeling after that. When I can't read people's body language and responses, I get nervous and a little up tight. I tend to give dumb answers, and I walk away slapping my forehead, wondering where some of those things I said came from. I actually think that if I were to walk in there right now, knowing what I know about the county and how I can contribute to an office setting, I would be snatched up in an instant. But I refuse to be like those sad American Idol rejects, begging for a second chance with no hope of acutally obtaining it.

I'm not quite back to the beginning, but I am trying to figure out, once again, what I should do with my life.

Keep job hunting, hoping that my resume will somehow stand out enough to get interviews? I'm starting to feel a little dejected and the thought of hours of fruitless job searching is a little disheartening. The best options seem to be with the county in all honesty.

Go back to school for my Masters or PhD? I could see myself doing some sort of Counseling Degree. Like a school counselor, not a therapist. Certify as a music teacher and either teach school or beef up my piano teaching? Maybe I could combine these two and get a Masters in Music Education...

Certify as a yoga instructor or message therapist? As appealing as both of these are, I am left to wonder if these will be as useless in the job market as my degree in Marriage, Family, and Human Development. I'd have to somehow wriggle my way into teaching at one of the two studios here or start my own studio. Though I have the entrepreneurial spirit, starting a business requires a lot more than I may be willing/able to supply. Capital, looong hours, marketing, patience, a location, permits, etc. It's enough to make my head spin.

Cosmetology? Culinary school? Graphic Design? Become a professional quilter and sell my stuff on Ebay?

Though I have interest in many, many things, I don't know if any of them are truly marketable or worth the time and money I would have to put into obtaining the training necessary.

The Office

The Office is one of my all time favorite TV comedies. It ranks right up there with The Cosby Show for me. Anyway, it's a wonderful conglomeration of awkward and odd people mixed with some witty and rational people. It makes for some side splitting laughter on my part.

However, I'm here to say it's not just fictional offices and management that can be humorous. Though it's a little unprofessional for me to do this, and I really ought to be more careful, I thought I'd let you all read a little ditty that was passed through my office this week. I will not mention any names or places for fear of the wonders of Google searches, but rest assured this was an honest to goodness memo.

English majors, prepare yourselves.

Subject: Wednesday will be Jean/cold weather gear day

Wednesday, January 31, 2007 will be a day for jeans, or cold weather gear.

I don't know to suggest "layering" of clothing, due to outside temperatures, and the variability (some just say cold) of temperature we have had recently in the office.

Thanks.

I say, no, thank you. Thank you for helping me feel less intimidated when I go to my next job interview.