What's a mother to do?

Everyone went to a Shark's hockey game tonight except for me and the boys. Walt went down for bed in less than 5 min. Dean, on the other hand has been going on and on and on for over an hour and a half now.

Since being here we've tried pretty much every sleep situation possible. The first week he went down really easily, but he kept waking up in the middle of the night. So I stopped giving him naps for about 3 days. By that third day he was sleeping through the night, but I could tell he was super tired throughout the afternoon and he was falling asleep in his dinner chair by 5:30 pm. So we started giving him naps again and tried putting him to bed a little later. This, however, started a very long, drawn out bedtime.

Though he already has his "special flashlight", he discovered that he can turn the light on in his room, so he does and starts playing with his toys. He comes out telling us he needs something. He wants me to stay in the room. He wants me to hold his hand. I've tried staying a few extra minutes. I've tried leaving his door open and the hall light on. I've tried staying by his bed and holding his hand. I've tried sitting in a chair by his door (so he can't escape or turn the light on). Everything works for a little while and then it stops working.

After an hour and a half of this tonight, I started getting a little tired and frustrated. I finally told him I wanted to say an extra prayer. I knelt by his bed, started praying, and began crying as I asked Heavenly Father to bless him to not be scared and to go to sleep. When I finished, he said, "Please say more prayer." So, I started again and paused after I said, "Dear Heavenly Father" He then started his own, "Dear Hevn'ly Father. Gank you for day. Bless Dean no get scared. Bless daddy hockey game. Gramma at hockey game. Grampa at hockey game. Everyone at hockey game. Dear Hevn'ly Father. Dean no get scared. Mommy, please say more blessing." I couldn't hold back my tears. I said another quick prayer, and he prayed again as well.

After he finished his prayer, I told him that if he ever got scared he could always pray to Heavenly Father to help him not get scared. I then told him I needed to go. He came out one more time after I left. I put him back one more time. As I was leaving I heard again, "Dear Hevn'ly Father. Gank you for day. Dean no get scared...." Finally, I think he is asleep.

I love my little guy and I hope that I can help him be a secure little boy. I also hope that I can figure out how to help him and find a good schedule so we don't have to go through an hour and a half bedtime routine every night. I hope this is the beginning of him finding comfort and peace through prayer.

The best of Christmas 2009

We've really enjoyed being here in CA for Christmas. Here are some of the highlights:

The Discovery Museum

Christmas Eve happens to be my mother-in-law's birthday. Her birthday dinner request was curry. So, Matt and I did a combined effort for the main dishes. I made chicken coconut curry. He made chana masala (a chickpea dish). They both turned out DELICIOUSLY (if I do say so myself). My sister-in-law brought some basamati rice and naan that rounded out the dinner perfectly.

Unfortunately, my camera battery died so I don't have more pics. of the birthday celebration or the Christmas pageant we put on afterward.

Christmas morning Dean was up by 7. I had to totally DRAG everyone else (ok, mainly just Matt and uncle Neil) out of bed so we could have Christmas morning together as a family. I stalled Dean by giving him his milk in the kitchen while we waited.

Even Walt got in on the present action.

On Christmas Night Matt's sister's fam came over to join in the festivities. They have three sons. One is 6 yrs. One is about 4 months older than Dean. Another is two weeks younger than Walt. It was fun.

"My baby's gonna eat your baby." They're only 2 weeks apart.

I think that's it for now! I'm sick of loading pics onto blogger. It takes soooo darned long sometimes.

Merry Christmas!

On the move

Well, Walt rolled over for the first (and second and third and forth) times yesterday. I have actually yet to see him complete a turn, but I've seen the results. The first time he was trying extra hard to get/ see the tricycle that was by his head. The other times were in his little make-shift bed. In the middle of the night he'd rolled off the pad and was face down by the glider when I got up to feed him! So, I've put him in the pack n play for sleep now, even though it's a little hard to get him in and out without the bassinet insert.

I just love when kids reach milestones. It's so fun to see them grow.

Oh, and both of his bottom teeth have popped through. "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth."

We made it!

We got up this morning at 4:25 and left the house by 5. There was an unexpectedly crazy long line at the southwest counter when we got there at 6 AM. We didn't get through to the desk until 6:45. They luckily bent the rules and got our bags on our flight (phew!). TSA says your bags can't fly unless they're checked in 1/2 hour before the flight leaves. After we got through to the front and got our boarding pass and luggage check, we lucked out in the security line. We had to go in the family line, and it got us past about 60 people. After that Matt grabbed Dean and a bag, and I was running with Walt in the umbrella stroller with my backpack and all the other junk we had to strip off when we went through the security check. We got to the gate out of breath, but we made it by 6:50 and our flight left at 6:55!!!! There was a very nice lady who moved so we could all sit in one row. Dean did really well the first flight. The second flight was a little harder since we'd been in the same plane so long. Dean's restless by nature, but he did much better than I had anticipated. We had to walk the aisle a couple of times to get a little energy out so he didn't explode. Walt was a real gem and didn't cry once (even though he's teething!)

The boys are now in bed, Matt's at a hockey game with his dad, and I think I'm ready to veg for a little bit then go to bed!

My apologies

I am sorry my posts seem to be such downers recently. I'll try and post happier things too. They do exist.

Tears and Fears

Well, Dean's fears have started to manifest themselves. Two big ones have popped up lately.

One is the fear that he'll go down the drain when we unplug the bath. This doesn't end with him. He panics to get all of his toys out of the tub or dishes out of the sink if the water is on and the drain is not plugged.

The other, more annoying, fear is that of the dark. He has been a great sleeper the past year and a half. Even after we switched him to his toddler bed he did great at staying in his bed. Until about 2 weeks ago. He now panics at nap time or bed time if we don't leave enough light on. He begs and begs for me to stay in his room. He assures me that "Dean be quiet" so as not to disturb me if I stay. I generally can't stay even if I wanted to since I almost always have to put Walt down right after him.

He has woken up 2-3 times now at 11 pm needing to use the bathroom. But the worst is his 4 am wakings. Ugh. He comes in our room thinking it's time to get up. I've been successful once in getting him back in bed without staying in there. Matt's taken him back to bed a couple times. This morning I took pity on him because he woke up sick (stuffed up and coughing, not throwing up). I tried laying down on his floor at 4 am. He was fairly quiet, but definitely not sleeping. And then after about 5 min. he started complaining about his nose. I eventually let him lay on the floor with me if he promised not to touch or breath on me and by about 5:30 he finally drifted off. I was afraid Walt would be waking up soon to eat, so I tried sneaking out. No go. He woke up immediately after I twisted the knob. I laid down again. Waited until he was snoring, and tried again. Same thing. And then he wouldn't go back to sleep. By 6 am I'd had it and I told him I was going back to my room and to try and go back to sleep. He kept following me out and I eventually put a child handle on his room. He cried and cried and cried. After about 10 min. Matt went and checked on him. By 6:30 he was still crying, Walt hadn't woken up yet, and I was not sleeping since Dean was crying still. So I got up and got him his milk. It has got to stop. He does the 4am thing pretty often now and it's really getting to me.

In Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child he says to put the kid back in bed without saying a word (something I'm HORRIBLE at) and with no emotion (also something I'm horrible at at 4 am). And to just keep doing it over and over and over again until they stay there. It can go on pretty long the first 2-3 nights, but should work by the 4-5th night. Oh man. I thought we were done sleep training this kid! He had been sleeping SO WELL for so long. Not a peep out of him for 12 hours. Maybe we should move his bed time back a little (it's 7 right now), but I really don't want to. I honestly don' t know how parents do it when their kids go to be later than 8 or 9. I'm too emotionally exhausted by then.

So, although I got to bed by 11 last night, I only got 3 1/2 hours of sleep between feeding Walt and dealing with Dean.

Walter at 4 months

The big guy has reached his 4 month mark and our suspicions were confirmed at his doctor's visit. He's at the top of the charts in height and weight. He's nearly too big for all of his 6 mo. clothes which means I'll have to actually buy him clothes soon. Dean didn't have any 9 mo. winter clothes.

Stats at 4 months:
Height: 26 1/2 in. (90%)
Weight: 19 lbs. 2 oz. (97%)
Head circumference: 16 3/4 (53%)

This was our best visit yet. He no longer has a belly button hernia, his urological problems are completely gone, he doesn't favor his left side nearly as much as he used to. He's right on track developmentally (though it doesn't take a whole lot to be a 4 month old), he's actually a little "ahead" since he can already transfer objects from one hand to the other and actively reaches for things. When the nurse set him on the scale she started laughing and said, "Whoa. You are a BIG boy!!" And that he is. I'm a little worried about back problems for myself and I can baaaarley carry him in the bjorn easily anymore. I had him in there for our 15 min. library run today and my back was so tired by the end.

His sleeping has kind of been all over the place. We switched him to his crib the same time we stopped swaddling him, just about a month ago. After that it took me a lot longer to rock him to drowsy, and when I set him down for naps he'd only stay asleep in his crib about 1/2 hour. This week has seemed to be a turning point for naps, though. Most of his naps in his crib have lasted 45 min-1.5 hour. His night sleeping has been a little erratic. One night this week was horrible and another night was heaven with him only waking up at 2:30 and 6. So, in other words, he's a normal baby I guess. =)

Some things I just love about him right now:
I love when he grabs his feet and rolls to his side.
He has got the best little smile and uses it often. (Though it's hard to catch it on camera by myself.)
He loves to be included in whatever we're doing.
He smiles at Dean a lot and finds him amusing. (Even when Dean's a little rough. I guess he's a real boy. =) He's been trying really hard recently to be a good big brother and likes to say hi to him and tries and make him smile.)
He is ticklish.
His beautiful blue eyes and big chubby cheeks are too cute to pass.
He cranes around to see the action, whether it be a conversation, the TV, etc.
He loves to talk and to blow bubbles and he really seems to try and converse with us through his raspberry blowing.
He's still pretty easy going.
He's getting much better at putting himself to sleep even when I put him in the crib awake.
He's very social and likes strangers cooing and taking note of him. He almost always gives them a smile back.
He does quite well in the bumbo and jumperoo now.
When he sucks on his lips he looks JUST like a little grandpa.
He chews on his (extra long) thumbs rather than sucking on them.

Some of his quirks:
He doesn't care to be rocked much anymore.
He especially dislikes being held in a cradle position or held in toward my body. The best way to rock him is sitting on my lap facing out.


As tired as I've been, and as hard as it's been for me to adjust to life as a mother of 2, I sure do love him and am sooooo happy he's here with us. I understand now why many mothers love the early months with babies.

(Can you believe this is what he looked like just 4 months ago??)

Finally finished!

My gigantic Christmas project is now complete. And now I can go to bed. Thank heavens.