Screen Time

It may not come as a surprise to most, Dean being Matt's son and all, but he is totally addicted to the computer. He could seriously go all day without TV or Wii (though he likes them), but I take away computer privileges, it's pure torture for him. As of right now, I let him spend about 2.5 hours of total screen time per day, and most days that is 1/2 hour of curious george and the rest is computer.

First of all, I have some internal conflicts about how much time he should be spending on the computer/TV/Wii. Of the three, I think TV is mostly a useless time waster and I hate having it on during the day (I never, ever turn on the TV for myself until after the boys are down and I'm doing chores or taking a break). I love Curious George, so I don't mind that being on, and there are a few other good kid programs I can tolerate, and Dean only watches PBS or videos we get from the library. It is the easiest for me to cut off. The Wii doesn't have many redeeming qualities though it does get him to move on some games. The computer, however, has tons of educational games, computer skills are super imperative to have these days, and I have no doubt that he will be a "computer guy" (in some form, be it professional or not) like his dad. He can navigate the internet incredibly well for a 3 year old. He figured out how to find angry birds by sounding out and typing in a web search. I don't think he spelled it 100% correctly, but it was close enough that he could click on the top search and it was it.

Dean has never enjoyed playing with toys. Never. He has loved learning shapes, colors, numbers and letters, and scissors, and how to read,  but he never really plays with toys. By the time he was 2, he could sit and successfully use the mouse at a computer. He would much rather find someone with a phone that he can play with than play with cars or trains, etc. Once he started preschool, he learned how to play a little better, but it's still takes a lot of effort on my part.

A typical day in our house looks something like this:

• The boys wake up between 5:40-6:15 am.
• We run at 6:30 with the boys in a stroller.
• We get home around 7:30 and make breakfast; Dean is already hounding me to turn on the computer.
• I usually let him play while I clean up the kitchen and take a shower.
• I try and get out of the house every morning by 9:30-10 either running errands, going to the library, the park, beach, or pool. If I don't, his screen time is used up very quickly and then I feel like I have to entertain Dean the rest of the day.
• We usually get home around 11:30/12
• We eat lunch and I put Walter down for a nap.
• I read books to Dean and inevitable get crazy tired and start nodding off while reading the third book.
• I'm so tired by then that I let him go play the computer (even if he's out of time) and I take a 1/2 hour nap or so.
• He usually likes to save 1/2 hour of screen time for the afternoon when I'm making dinner, so I generally make him get off and I either play with him or have him help me with chores until Walt wakes up.
• Dean, Walt, and I play until about 4.
• I usually make dinner from 4-5 when I turn on TMBG's Here Come the 123's or ABC's for Walt and Dean uses his last 1/2 hour on computer. (It's really way too hot here right now for me to just send them outside to play.) We eat around 5.
• After dinner I clean up and Matt either plays with the boys inside/outside or they watch him play his computer games.  When that runs out steam, Dean usually wants to get back on the computer.
• We get them ready for bed a little before 7, we read books and whatnot and have them in bed with the lights out between 7:15-7:30 most nights. Some times it's 8, but I don't like those nights because it really only buys me about 15 min. in the morning, if that.

I feel like it's a constant battle of trying to limit the time. If I don't have something concrete, he naturally gravitates back to my computer and I either give in or force him off again.  Then you add in friend time and it seems as though most play dates at other kids' homes result in playing wii.  I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but what I want to know is, if you limit screen time, what do your kids do during the day? Do they mostly play on their own, or do they require a lot of individual time with you? Do you have lots of structured activities? Was it different with your first child than your subsequent children? It bothers me sometimes how much he's on, but I'm also wondering what more/differently I need or could do. Even at the library now they have computers in the kids' section and that's all Dean wants to do while there. It's a library! Aren't we trying to get kids to step away from computers and look at a book for heaven's sake?  I have to admit, I let him play while I choose books most days because it then means I only have to wrangle one child while filling my bag.

It's so foreign to me because I didn't ever really play nintendo or atari, or the computer growing up. There were periods in my life where we had no cable. But I was also the 6th child, so I had a lot of siblings to watch, play with, and copy.  I read and played the piano a lot, but I don't have many memories of being pre-literate. And then there's Matt. It's hard for me to say to my kids, "It's not good for you to sit on the computer all day" because that is what Matt does the vast majority of his day every day.  Blah. I just don't have the answer on this.

And salty really sounds good

Well, it's that time again. You know, the time I announce that WE'RE HAVING ANOTHER BABY!! That's right. Bras(s) baby #3 will join our family early February 2012.

To answer some FAQs:
I am currently 7 weeks, though I am already undeniably showing. I think I will start my belly pics next week.

I've been feeling quite good so far in the way of nausea. I've only had a couple of "oh I think I'm going to puke" moments thus far.

I have been quite tired. I haven't figured out if that's due to pregnancy or the fact that my kids have been waking up between 5:30 and 6 am for the past 3 months or so. Probably both. I've been going to bed earlier, but boy some mornings are hard to get up. But for now, I'd rather put my kids to bed on the earlier end and have an evening of not being mommy than sleep in.

I am hoping we have a girl, but if we have another boy we will be just as happy.

I had two previous c-sections (one emergency and one planned) and felt kind of coerced into the second one since Matt's reasoning was "would you rather die or have a c-section?" and my doctor didn't seem too keen on the idea. What's done is done. I really, really, really want to avoid another c-section (recovery with other small children was WAY harder than when I just had a new little baby, plus I feel like it really contributed to postpartum blues for me), so I'm going to start doing consultations with ob-gyns and midwives who will consider vbacs after 2 c-sections. There is one in Denton (about 30 min. away) who is fairly famous for having a high vbac success rate, and has delivered successful vba2c and vba3c even. We'll see what happens, though, since Matt's really not supportive of it.

As for cravings, nothing specific but salt. Salty foods have sounded sooo good to me. Even things like tomatoes with a generous dusting of salt. It doesn't just have to be greasy foods, though chips and the like have sounded good too. The other day when I was eating chips and salsa, I was salting each individual chip. I know. Hopefully I can cut back on that before it starts making me retain a lot of water! =)

I've still been running 4 days a week and lap swimming 1. I just borrowed a road bike from friends and I'm hoping to start riding about 12-15 mi. one day a week. We'll see how long I can do that before I start bumping my belly. I wanted to do a tri-sprint in Sept, but I'll be 18 weeks and last time at 18 weeks I was pretty pregnant! There is one in July, but I don't know if I can feel confident biking by then. I'm quite the beginner, and this 26 year old road bike is much, much trickier than anything I've ever ridden.

I think the kids will do okay with it. Right after we found out we were pregnant, Dean told me (we hadn't told him we were pregnant yet) that he wanted to go to the hospital and bring home and new baby that day. I explained it didn't quite work like that and told him it was a much longer process. Today Dean randomly rubbed my newly protruding tummy and I told him that there was a baby growing inside. He seemed excited. Much better than last fall when he told me he didn't want any more kids in the family because "Walter was enough brother."

We're excited though a little scared to be out numbered. I'm already starting to feel the same sadness about not living near any family that I had when I had Walter. It was really, really hard for me to not have family around last time. Hopefully it will be better this time though. Or maybe I can convince Matt to move somewhere closer. Yeah right. Not impossible, but not probable either.

And finally, I'm really happy to not be 9 months pregnant during another Texas summer!!

Chomp, chomp, chomp. Timber!

The other night when I went to a Relief Society meeting, Matt taught Dean and Walter the "tree chopping" game.  He would "chop" their legs and push them backwards onto the bed. They LOVED it and begged me to play it with them the next couple of days. Dean got to the point where he was chopping himself, but the funniest part to me was how he'd say, "chomp, chomp, chomp." Here's a video of it.

Untitled from Celia Brasfield on Vimeo.

Wallow fire

A couple months ago my grandparents needed a little extra help at home and my parents uprooted themselves and moved to Mesa to help them out. They are saints I tell you. They're back home and taking care of my grandparents in Snowflake now for the summer, but right before they returned home, the wild fires in northern AZ broke out on May 29th.

If you haven't heard about the fire, it's awful!  As of today, the wallow fire has burned 519,319 acres (click here for a day by day progression of the fire. It's incredible how quickly it spread and how long it's been going!) and is the largest fire in AZ ever recorded. It is 58% contained, so at least they're making some progress. My sister and her family were evacuated from their house in Eager for a week and went to my parents' house 100 miles away.  You could see the smoke plume from Snowflake that looks like an A-bomb went off, but at least they could breath.They're now back in their home. Her husband, Mark, is a forest ranger and was fighting a different AZ fire when it started.  He got home during the evactuation and has been working on forest recovery before he goes to fight the wallow fire. She said, " It was a little smokey for the first two days that we were home, but now you can't really tell the the forest is still burning.  Mark has been working 12-16 hours a day.  This week it hasn't been too bad.  He is mostly working on forest recovery right now.  I haven't been able to see any of the damages because the roads are still closed, but Mark says that some of the prettiest parts look really bad.  I'm just glad that most of the homes around here were saved.  The fire that is burning near Sierra Vista has burned around 60 homes.  It's so sad.  That was a beautiful place, too.  We use to picnic up that canyon."

I am so grateful for the men and women who are risking their lives, giving their time, and giving up their comfort to fight this beast.  Beside my brother-in-law, one of my best friend's father has fought it as well.

All about my dad, by Dean

Taken on Valentine's day 2011

In church they did a little survey about the kids' dads. Here are Dean's answers.

Things my dad likes:
Favorite food: Tacos
Favorite dessert: Cake
Favorite game to play: Wii
Favorite sport to watch: Basketball (where he got this, I have no idea. I'm really surprised he didn't say hockey.)
Favorite sport to play: soccer (same. I don't think Matt's ever played soccer in his life. I don't think he's ever even kicked the ball to Dean)
My favorite memory with my dad is:  play memory with dad

My dad is the best in the family at: work. He works best.
At his job, my dad:  works at work
When not at work, my dad likes to: play wii (really? even though he's on the computer like 95% of his time?)

My dad is 12 years old.

My dad is 6 ft tall
My dad weighs 50 lbs.
My dad has green hair.
My dad's eyes are hazel.
My dad likes to wear: Robot suit (hahahahah. love this one. Plenty of robot shirts but no robot suits.)
My dad is special to me because he works.
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once when Matt was working out of town I suggested we pray for dad because he was working so hard for us. Ever since then Dean says in almost every prayer (even blessings on food) "Thank you that dad works so hard every day except not on Sunday."  He's so funny. 

Oh what do you do in the summertime?

Sorry I've been MIA. Apparantly blogging is something I don't do in the summer time much...or in 2011. I have my theories about this, but that will be for another post.

Summer is here in full force with temps in the high 90s and low 100s the past 2 weeks. Basically the only thing we can do outside now involves water. Last week we got to go to Lake Ray Roberts, a favorite from last year. I don't think I snapped one picture last year (I don't really want to risk our camera getting sand in it, and we don't have a phone camera), but my friend Erin took this one of Walt last week.  I have to say it was much more enjoyable with a 2 and 3 year old  than a 1 and 2 year old. I was happy with my purchase of longsleeve rash guards for the boys. Dean still got a little burned under his eyes, and Walt got a little burn on the back of his neck, but overall it was much better than usual.

Yesterday I busted out the sprinklers in hopes of getting the boys prepped for splash pads at the parks. They're both fairly terrified of the splash pads and getting sprayed with water in their faces. I bought some swimming goggles the other day and haven't had them try them out yet. When I asked Dean if he wanted to try goggles, he ran inside and got his work goggles. It was so cute I didn't even try and get the swimming goggles on him. Walter was a little unsure if he liked the swimming goggles, but he kept them on for awhile.

 

And when we are inside, we do things like....have a dance party! Dean made me play Twist and Shout over and over again. He was having sooo much fun today at our dance party. Walt got his incredibly cute groove on for awhile, but Dean stole the show today.

A professional swimer, biker, and runner, hu?

Since I decided I wanted to do a triathlon sprint in the fall, I have been looking for a decent road bike at a good price (still looking), and I purchased my first speedo racer swimsuit since I was probably 12 and in swim team.  I also bought a swim cap, something I've never really used, and some good goggles.

Matt hasn't really been that supportive of me spending $$ on a bike and other stuff since I've never really biked and "don' t know if I'll stick with it". He wants me to spend no more than $100, but that is a joke!  Anyway, tonight as I was heading out the door to go do some lap swim, he saw me in my swim cap and jokingly said, "A swim cap? What, you want to be a professional biker, swimmer and runner now?"

My response was, "Why not? You'd rather that than I be a fat and lazy wife wouldn't you?" =) He couldn't not agree with that. hahahahaha.

Looking up

You know, life is looking up for me these days. It's a little ironic I'm writing this on a day that both of my kids have had low grade temps and one of them puked all over his bed at nap time. (update: today I found out they had/have hand, foot, mouth disease that caused the fevers and stuff.)  But I mean, overall, I'm feeling more content with life.

Dean's behavior has improved dramatically this past month. He has generally been very kind, helpful, grateful, and has started treating Walter like a playmate.  His whines and tantrums have subsided substantially, and he generally only lashes out (hitting) when he's really tired or sick.

Having no family or close friends nearby has been one of the biggest drawbacks for me living here in TX. (The one good friend I had from the get go moved away then moved back, but not as close, so we don't get together enough!) However, after 5 years of living here, I finally feel like I have some other solid,comfortable friendships. I have a great running partner. I have a good friend I can call for play dates. And I have been invited to some girls' nights recently (outside of church stuff).

After doing my half marathon, I feel very motivated. I felt so good doing it, and it made me want to keep setting goals and working for something specific rather than just running the same thing over and over every day. My running partner is signed up to do a full marathon in UT in September. I'll probably do a lot of the training with her, though I won't run that race. I'm more interested in doing a triathlon sprint next. There's one in Plano on labor day that I might just do. Before I decided to do a tri, I bought a mountain bike at a yard sale for cross training, but after riding it, I realize I really need something much lighter and all around better if I want to race.  I hadn't ridden a bike in over 15 years, and I've never ridden a gear bike before last week, so I am a complete novice!!! I've been stalking craigslist to see if I can find a decent bike in my price range.

I was starting to feel a little burned out on craft projects, so after Matt finished tiling, I'm feeling like I want to get our house put back together and better than ever. Rather than crafting, my time and efforts have been going toward organizing, decluttering, and cleaning out house. I have felt so happy with myself since this is NOT my strong suit. I bought a download for a cleaning system (printable) 2 weeks ago, and I've really liked it overall. It's cute little cards that break my day up into 3 pieces with each day designated to a different cleaning task. I have it sitting on my desk in a business card holder stand (without the rings that she has on hers). I like the look of the cards, and for the most part I like how the days are organized. I would add a few things and split up a few things if I were to make it myself (and I probably will when I feel like I get my cleaning style figured out), but it has been good for me nonetheless.  My house has been way cleaner the past 2 weeks.

I got my hair cut today, and I love that I have a husband who understands my need for short hair! I nearly went pixie short, but I like how a-line bobs grow out better. Maybe later in the summer I'll go pixie. The purple pics were taken about a month ago (by Dean), and the green were taken tonight.

Our new floor

Here is a picture of our old linoleum while Matt was ripping it up. It was pretty nasty. There were very weird pink stains throughout the kitchen and bathrooms that we found out came from markings on the concrete slab. I have no clue why the marks were on the concrete or how they could have seeped up through the linoleum...

After 5 months of working a couple hours every night after work, Matt finished our tile in our bathrooms, kitchen and laundry room. It looks SO good (I'm so impressed with him cutting and laying tile. He taught himself everything and this was his first time tiling anything), but he said he never wants to tile again in his life if he can help it! Now I just have to paint the baseboards and touch up the cupboards and it will be complete!

Come on over baby

Happy mother's day! It started out quite rocky over here. I heard Walter start screaming at 6:08 am because Dean turned the light on when he woke up even though Walt wasn't awake yet. He came into my room to wake me up about 2 minutes later. The kids were both cranky and disobedient and I was cranky and short tempered. Apparently none of us got the memo that it was a holiday celebrating the joys of motherhood where the kids were supposed to be sweet little angels and I was supposed to be a perfect mother. So I called for a redo before we went to church.

Matt's stomach was really not agreeing with him this morning, but he didn't want to make me brave Sacrament meeting alone with the boys, so he came for the first hour. The primary did a very cute musical number and it was sooo cute to see Dean's head poking over the rail in the front of the chapel. Boy is he still a little guy compared to the older kids!  He didn't sing all the words, but I could tell he tried on the parts he kind of knew. I had a huge smile on my face nonetheless.

When the boys and I went to our classes, Matt went home until church was over so he could be close to a personal restroom. After I got home and put Walter in bed I thought, "wow. Did I actually leave their room this clean?"  And then I walked into the living room and thought, "I DEFINITELY didn't leave this room this clean." And then I walked into the kitchen and it was all picked up, the dishwasher was running, and it looked great. That was a great surprise. An added bonus? Matt used our horrible beyond horrible vacuum and said, "that thing is horrible! We need a new vacuum." I said that the first week we got it, but he was like, "meh. can't be that bad.". (It's a cheap Bissel bagless. THE WORST vacuum I've ever used.)  We may be in the market for a dyson soon...

And then what did I do? I took a nap. Ah bliss. It's been ages since I took a nap on Sunday.  While I was asleep, Matt made dinner (posole) and Dean made me a card and played on the computer.

We had a good FHE and got to talk to Matt's parents on skype. After that we played outside for a little bit even though it was time to get ready for bed. The redo was waaaaaaaay better than the original!

Despite all the frustrating moments and times I want to rip my hair out, 

I love being a mom. 

I love watching my boys watch their daddy so they know what to expect and how to act "when they grow up like a man."

I get to make cool things like this cardboard rocket ship and explore the moon (ie. the sandbox and playset)

I get to camp inside when the weather  is bad (and outside when the weather is good).

 And I get to see some of the best bedhead and smiles after good naps.

I get to be the subject of some pictures that turn out ok...and some that don't.

I get to help my kids make messy memories...

...as well as good clean (and sweet) memories.

I get to try out cool things like homemade fizzy sidewalk paint.

And collect cool custom made pieces of ABC art.

And I get to hear my kids sing and learn new songs like this latest from Walter (and Dean at the end), "Come on over baby"

Come on over baby from Celia Brasfield on Vimeo.

yes. I love being a mom.

13.1 miles

Today I ran my very first half-marathon. 13.1 miles. In Jr. high I couldn't run a mile without having an asthma attack. In high school I ran cross country, but felt like I would die if I tried anything over 3 miles. In college someone mentioned that they thought if I could do 4 I could do more, so I ran up to 7. And I haven't tried to go higher than that until this year. Surpassed it I did. In my 5 fingers nonetheless, so it was kind of like running it barefoot. Cool.

When I heard about the White Rock Centennial half, I was excited to train for it. Every half marathon here ends up on Sundays, so I never feel like it's worth it to me to compete. It was commemorating 100 years of races being run at on this course, and it was the anniversary today, so they had a special 1/2 marathon race to celebrate.  I am not currently pregnant or breastfeeding, I have children old enough to leave at home for a couple hours, and it was on a Saturday, so I couldn't ask for better circumstances.

My running partner Kirstin was interested in training for it also, so we have been following a training schedule the last 2 months. Prior to this race, the furthest I've ever gone consecutively was 7.5 miles and I was WASTED after running it. Like to the point I went to bed at 7 pm and had someone come over to help Matt give me a Priesthood blessing. Matt had to even carry me to bed.  I was totally dehydrated because I used to not run with water. Crazy!!!

Anyway, we did all of our weekday training runs with our strollers and kids, and we ran our weekend runs without kids. Two weeks ago Kirstin felt like she had a stress fracture, so she didn't run the last 20 miles with me in our training and let her leg rest in hopes that it would heal up enough to run in the actual race. It paid off for her and I'm so glad it did.


 My goals for this race were to:
1. Finish strong. I didn't want a hobbling in type finish. I wanted to have enough energy to sprint my hardest.
2. I wanted to finish under 2 hours. That would be under 9 min. miles.

The White Rock Lake was the perfect location for the race. It was beautiful and the weather was great. We started out between the 1:50 and 2 hour pace setters. I never actually saw either in the race, so I knew I was right where I wanted to be. We stayed together the first 8 miles or so and at that point I felt like I needed to step it up a bit in order to make my goal so I pulled ahead a little. I could glance back and see K. up until the 9 or 10 mi. mark, but after I hit 10 mi. I was in the zone. 10 was the longest I'd ever run in my training, so I really wanted to focus on my run from that point on.  I ran the entire race and didn't stop to walk once. I was really happy with that. I kept my arms loose the whole time, and I really felt great. With 1 mile left I tried to really get to my fastest-but-not-hyperventilating speed, and at about .1 mile left I was at an all out butt-kicking sprint. The crowd was cheering really loudly. I'm not sure if it was because I was running so hard or if there was someone else, but I'll take it. =) I was def. hyperventilating when I finished, but once I got some delicious cold water in me, I stopped.My time was 1 hour 59 min. and 23 seconds!!! I made my goals and I was super happy about it. I placed 26th in my age division and 415th out of 2011 runners overall. I think I did pretty well for my first half.

I had bought new running shorts this week, but I was super hesitant to run the race in them since I'd not done one training run in them. But I took the chance and it paid off. They were nice and light and the underwear that was built in didn't get soggy like cotton underwear, so that was nice. At my bro.'s suggestion, I used an anti-chafe stick which was helpful. I got a new hat, a new mp3 player, and lots of new music for the run. It was all really great. I love my fuel belt that Matt got me for Christmas. I went through all 4 water bottles during the race.

Kirstin was only 2 min. behind me, but I didn't realize that. I grabbed my water and went around to try and cheer her on, but apparently I missed her and she didn't see where I went. It ended up taking us 2 hours to find each other after the race since we didn't have our cell phones!

I am definitely tired, but I'm not wasted. I had an Isagenix bar before the race and Isadelights during the race. They helped a lot. I feel tired, but I also feel happy that I've accomplished this. Even if I never do another one, I did this one and I did it well. Something I can feel proud of.

Patience and Patients

Tonight Dean was "escaping" while I was going to get them water after they were in bed. I have had a horrible hacking cough all day and I just plain don't feel well, so I said, "Dean, please get back in bed. I don't feel well and I don't have the patience for this tonight."  Dean replied, "Dean have lots of patients. You, Dad, and Walter are all sick. You are all Dean's patients."

HAHA!


I also love it when he tells me, "Don't worry mom, Dean will take care of you."

And today after I made homemade bread for the first time in weeks (no I didn't buy regular bread, we just didn't have bread in weeks!) he said, "Oh, thanks mom! This is so de-LISH-ous."  That made me feel good. He also said dinner was delicious (homemade tomato soup, salad with lettuce from our garden, and grilled swiss cheese sandwiches on the bread I made), and after dinner he peeled his own carrot and said that was delicious also. He's usually not so generous with his food compliments. =)

And since we're talking about bread making, I did make a decision on my grinder. I decided to go with the wooden German mill, the Fidibus 21. So far I love it! I loved the direction booklet. "Plug in the mill. Turn on the mill. Put grain in the mill. Adjust the hopper to how fine or coarse you want your grain." That was it!  It should have included "Don't use the first X cups of flour due to grit from the stones." like my hand mill said. Our first batch of pancakes tasted more like sandcakes. After ginding 5 or so cups of grain, no more grit.

I love, love, love that I can grind every bit of my flour when I need it. I don't have a bucket of ground flour in my fridge because I can grind 1/2 cup of flour if I want it when I want it.  I'm happy with my purchase, even if it isn't the most "practical" of the options. Sometimes I just want something nice, and I want what I want. Ya know? It's the least annoying sounding mill I've ever heard! It has no whiny pitch when it doesn't have grain, and the frequency of the grains being ground is lower than other mills, so it's not nearly as ear piercing.  I figure by making my own bread and pancake mixes and muffins etc., I will have paid for my mill within a year easily, and I plan on having it much longer than that.

Apostle of the Lord

Today we had a special Stake Conference presided over by Elder Dallin H. Oaks. He was here for an area  leadership training and apparently our stake hasn't had an Apostle visit since 1973 or something, so we were "the winner".  It was really wonderful.

We got there at 8:30 and the meeting started at 9.  Walter was dawdling in the hall and Matt had gone in to get a seat ahead of us. By the time I got there, Matt said he'd had the opportunity to shake Elder Oaks hand. DRAT! How could I have missed such an opportunity because my child was...being a child???!  I was pretty disappointed until Matt said, "Hey, he's going up the other side of the building greeting people." So the boys and I went and sat at the opposite side of the cultural hall and "waited our turn" to meet Elder Oaks. By the time he got to us, Walter was laying all over me and Dean had turned my hand into a pillow, so I kind of had to wrestle my hand away to actually shake his! He said, "Sometimes it's hard to get a hand when you have such a handful." and then smiled an understanding smile. I stood Walter up on my lap knowing full well that he'd not remember the encounter, but wanting him to meet an Apostle of the Lord nonetheless. He patted him on the head and said, "Hello darling."  He was kind and genuine and I felt blessed to have the chance to meet him, even briefly.

I understand he is only a man, but my heart was touched to quiet tears as I watched him go through out the congregation, trying his very best to reach each person personally, to shake everyone's hand and let them know that they were loved.  I felt as though he was doing exactly what the Lord would be doing were he the visitor of our conference. Truly, in his word and action, he is a special witness of Jesus Christ.

He spoke on Priesthood authority in the home. It was somewhat difficult to hear all of his message because 2 little boys were so restless from sitting in the same place for 2 hours, however, I caught a lot more than I had anticipated. The most memorable part of his talk for me was when he spoke of his own family dynamics of having 5 children in his twenties and then a sixth child in their 40s. He said for his first 5 he mainly gave father's blessings at "big events" like when his kids went off to college, got married, etc.  But something he learned in the 13 year gap between his youngest and second youngest was that father's blessings were also for every day challenges as well. When a child is having a hard time in a specific class or with friends, etc. that we should teach them to seek after a father's blessing for comfort and direction. He said that by the time his youngest was grown, he realized he'd given the youngest more father's blessings that the other five combined.  Matt and I have always had a different view on how often one should give father's blessings, so I felt like this was good and applicable instruction for us.

I know that Christ lives and I know that there are living Prophets and Apostles on the earth today. I know that I shook the hand of a special witness of the Lord today, and I am grateful to have had that opportunity.

You're hot then you're cold

Walt is telling me "No" because he didn't want his pic taken!

Our weather has been so odd recently. Two days ago it was 90* and muggy. Yesterday was 60*, overcast and crisp. Today the first half of the day was cool and rainy and the second half felt like we were in a sticky sauna.

The 90* I can do without since it means indoor play all day unless water is involved. The 60* was totally awesome and made me want to live in Moss Beach, CA. We played outside all morning in the sand.  Today was doable. It was great running in the misty cool morning.

Walt got the one shoe on himself...

I am so happy we have our playset. And I'm happy we finally put sand in the sandbox last month! It's been the funnest thing to at home. One of our favorite games to play is "crush the castle".  I'll "build" a castle (usually only 1 or two rectangular bowls of sand dumped upside down) and then the boys smash it to smithereens yelling "CRUSH THE CASTLE!" Some days the boys have to be washed down multiple times through out the day before they're allowed to touch anything in the house.  Some days I miss some sand and find my couch or the boys' beds covered in a fine film.  Today was their longest run of playing together without me, which was about 10 - 15 min. Dean came in looking for me after that. I asked why he didn't go back and play with Walter until I was done with dinner prep and he said, "Because Dean wants to play with you. Not Walter." Baby steps...

I have just felt so blessed to be able to be home with these guys. I'm trying to savor the day to day play and know that it is some of the most important "work" that I'll ever do in my life.

Adam and Eve according to Dean

Every week after church I ask Dean what they talked about in class and his reply is always the same, "Dean don't know."  In a similar vein, he never wants to tell Matt what they did at preschool, "It's a secret. Dean don't want to tell dad." I told him that we were talking about obeying parents in nursery today, and he said they talked about being obedient too. That was as much as I could get out of him.

So, I thought it was kind of funny today when his primary teacher posted a msg on my facebook wall. She said they were talking about Adam and Eve today in class. "Dean understands the docrine of the fall perfectly...'if you don't obey your parents, you lose your priledges...and that's why they had to leave the garden...'  We had a discussion on that, because the other kids understood after he said that..."

I'm glad he's participating and listening and learning, even if he rarely wants to discuss it with me. After I got that, I started asking him questions about Adam and Eve, and he answered most of my questions. As for disobedience and losing privileges, yes, Dean does understand that concept very well by personal experience, poor guy. I think he's wired to push the limits.

So what would YOU do?

I have wanted a grain mill for a long time now. I had finally convinced myself to buy one for my birthday. I couldn't choose between the Nutrimill or the KoMo Fidibus 21 so I haven't actually made the purchase yet.  Then last night I drove an older sister to a Relief Society meeting and the topic somehow came up. She told me she had a brand new (refurbished) Whisper Mill that I could possibly have. Their old Whisper mill caught on fire (yikes!) and the company replaced it, but they ended up buying a Nutrimill instead so they didn't actually need the new Whisper mill. They had already promised it to someone who failed to follow through and pick it up, so she said she'd ask her husband if she could give it to us. She called me today to tell me I could have it if I wanted it. So the boys and I went and picked it up.

Pros:

• It's a NEW $240 grain mill that I'm getting FOR FREE if I choose to keep it.
• It's a top brand
• It mills very fine flour because it pulverizes rather than grinds

Cons:

• There are a lot of parts. Parts to clean. Parts to break. Filters, buckets, etc. etc.
• There are super strict rules about turning it on and off with grains in the hopper. I'm a little worried about screwing something up.
• I kind of feel bad taking a brand new mill from someone, even if they're not using it. (I did ask if they wanted it back if I decided to purchase a different one, or if they wanted me to pass it on to someone else who needed a grinder, and they both heartily said to bring it back to them...)
• It's bigger and uglier than the KoMo. There are 2 parts to it, so I guess you could store the mill on the counter and just bring out the bucket when you wanted to mill, but still. It's a big bulky plastic thing.
• It doesn't grind grains coarse enough for cracked wheat or muesli. 

My biggest hang up: I had just convinced myself to buy the KoMo right before she offered me this one. The cheapest I've found it is $320.  It's a small, simple, and pretty wooden object I wouldn't mind sitting on the counter. Nothing to clean. Nothing to break really. You can turn it on and off with or without grain in the hopper. Did I say nothing to clean? No filters. Pretty much as low maintenance as you can get. 

So what would you do? Take the free one? Or give it back and buy the one you really want?  Seriously. If you read this post I want to know.

The big 3-0

Yesterday I turned 30. It was a great day.  The boys woke up in a good mood. We had puffy oven pancakes and strawberries for breakfast. Yum.


While Dean was at Preschool, I took Walter to the park. I think it's the first time we had been to the park without Dean. Walt definitely was a little lost without him. He stuck by me way more than normal.  At lunch I let Dean have a picnic (Walt was already in bed for nap) on our half tiled kitchen floor. As he ate, he laid down on the blanket, sandwich in hand, and said, "Dean is going to rest now so Dean won't need a quiet time after lunch." =)

I took the kids to Target after their naps. I let Dean pick out flowers since he's been begging to buy them since Matt bought me some for Valentine's day. I looked through necklaces since I know Walter loves when I wear them. He really wanted to get me one, but I couldn't find one I really liked. My main goal for the day was to avoid whining kids. I basically gave them everything they asked for because I wanted a whine free day. Those bunny shaped marshmallows that I'd never have bought? Yep. I bought them. And I let them have the marshmallows in the car on the way home before we even had dinner!  Dean wanted to buy me a big foam hammer he found, and couldn't figure out why it wouldn't be the perfect present for my birthday. =) Walter was begging to go ride on the tractors at Lowe's next door, so I let them be the "driver guy" on all 20 riding lawnmowers before heading home.

When Matt got home from work, he quickly made my traditional "better-than-sex" cake. Though that is a misnomer. It should really be called, "better-than-regular-cake" instead. I don't care for cake much, but this cake is always good for a piece or two. He let the caramel and sweetened condensed milk soak in while we set off for dinner. We went to a Mexican place (Petra's) we'd never tried but had heard good things about. I got a sampler triple taco plate to share with the boys and get a good overall feel for their food. Matt got a burrito. His was $3 less than mine, but way more food! Less meat, but more filling in the end. I actually ate my entire entree, something I NEVER do. I was full, but not so full I couldn't have a piece of cake when I got home. The food was ok, but we'll probably never eat there again.

When we got home, Matt lit up the cake (our A/C came on and kept blowing out the candles, so this took awhile. Most of the candles were nearly stubs by the time he brought them out). Dean helped me blow them out.

Matt got me the King Aurthur's cook book and an Arts and Crafts with Kids book that I'd had on my Christmas list. I bought myself a Sansa clip mp3 player and headphones, and I will buy myself a grain mill when I can settle on which one to buy: the KoMo Fidibus 21 or the Nutrimill.  The Nutrimill is about twice the size of the Fidibus and has a lot more components you have to clean. The Fidibus is self cleaning and is much nicer looking in my opinion. It could easily stay on my counter and I could mill even a 1/4 cup of grain if I wanted to for cereal (muesli or cracked wheat) in the morning.  It is also $100 more, thus the difficult decision.

I have a feeling it's going to be a great year. I don't have any qualms with 30. It is just a number. I'm slimmer and healthier now than I was before I had kids.  I'm training for a half marathon. I'm feeling pretty good actually. My stage of life is pretty challenging for me, and I often feel like I have a big NEEDS IMPROVEMENT in the parenting department, but these two cutie pies are worth it.

I got to chat with my sister Julie (who is totally amazing and is watching my sister Amanda's kids while she's in DC for her BIL's wedding!) which is always fun. My parents also called and visited for a few, and my grandparents sang me a beautiful happy birthday duet, harmony and all!

Oh, and as I was changing Walter before bed, he said, "potty!", got up, and ran to the bathroom, sat on his little bjorn potty chair and peed in the pot or the first time. He's sat on it before, but that was the first time it was actually used properly! I thought the possibility of two potty trained boys was a nice gift.

Parenting 505: Life with Bedlamites

To do lists vs. To be list.  "As a parent, when can I check my child off my list as 'done'? We are never done being good parents, and one of the most important things we can teach our children is how to be more like the Savior.  When children misbehave, we often misdirect our discipline on what they did, but the do is only a symptom of an unseen motive in their heart. What attributes if understood by the child would correct this behavior? How do parents teach these attributes to our children?"

[paraphrasing and thoughts] Discipline should not be done in anger, but meekness and love. It is teaching, not just punishing. They learn of consequences connected to behavior, but they also need to learn doctrine of the spirit so they can become better people, not just act better when we are around. The sword only focuses on behavior, or the do, not on the be.

Those with meek and gentle children are enrolled in parenting 101. Those with children who push the limits of our patience are enrolled in parenting 505. "Consider the more challenging child as a blessing. Could it be possible that you need this child as much as he needs you? Be careful to not say things that imply that their behavior is who they are. They are God's children. That is their eternal identity and potential. Bad behavior is an act, not identity." Elder Lynn G. Robins, April 2011 General Conference (Watch it, it's super great!!)

This was probably the most poignant talk out of the 10 hours of  "church instruction" for me this General Conference. There were tons of wonderful talks, but this was the one that seemed written for me. He spoke of being vs. doing and how we need to have both aligned together or we are hypocrites if we outwardly do but aren't inwardly converted or self-deceived if we think we have faith but our actions are not in line with the Lord's will. Such a fantastic talk. I need to read/watch it 5 more times now. Every sentence had a little nugget of wisdom I could ponder on.

The terrible threes are in full swing at our house. Dean has been acting out physically quite a bit at home, preschool, and church. I have witnessed him hitting, kicking, body bumping, stealing other kids' things out of their hands, and pulling hair.  I have been told of him throwing things at other children (including a brick!), as well as the afore mentioned things. I have been called to pick him up early from preschool, and he's been taken out of Sunbeams and brought to me because of bully behavior. It's easy to start thinking of him as "the bad child" (and Walter as the "good child") or "the bully."  But really, I'm doing him a disservice to follow that thought since his behavior is just an act, not necessarily who he is.

Today at the grocery store, he wanted a gift card while we were returning an item. I said no, and he started throwing a whiney fit and then hit me. Yes. He hit me, and the cashier gasped. He lost his computer, tv, and wii privileges for the day. But that obviously wasn't the key to stopping his behavior. When we came home, he continued kicking Walt and even went so far as to hit Walter on the head with a cooking pot.  What am I to do???  On bad days every interaction that doesn't go exactly as he thinks it should results in a major flailing melt down. On good days those melt downs are limited to maybe 4 or 5.  It definitely tries my patience.

So I re-watched this talk from conference yesterday, and there are so many helpful truths in this talk. While I do try to teach him to recognize how his actions affect others, a lot of our discipline in our house focuses on behavior, and truth be told, a lot of it is done with an angry, frustrated voice. Bullying is something I despise, and I can't stand watching him hurt other kids. Yet, disciplining in anger is just another form of bullying to try and get him to behave better. Parenting is definitely the hardest endeavor I have ever undertaken, but I need to learn and re-learn, and remind myself daily that this is the proving ground. This is how we are tested and tried. This is how we learn to become more like our Savior. I need to refocus my perspective, respond with more love and meekness, and remind myself to not only act as the Savior would act, but be who he wants me to be. The more my character and actions reflect the Lord, the easier it should be for my kids to do and become more like him as well.

It's exhausting being awesome

(This was written last Saturday night, but I didn't add the pics until today.)



Ok, I'm not sure where that title actually came from. I'm just exhausted from this week. I know some of you have way more stressful lives with work, sports, music, etc. I'm just glad that parenting is a gradual transition because what I did this week exhausted me.

I taught preschool, which was fun (minus a few stressful moments of Dean bullying other kids since he didn't want them playing with his things).  I had Q and R again even though I had them last semester. We have 5 kids now, so that threw off the rotation.

For Q we:

• Played a question game where kids hunted for 1 red, 1 blue, and 1 yellow question mark I'd taped up around the living room. They came back to the quilt and I "journaled" their answers to the questions. All of the blue question marks were blank and I had them ask me a question. This was far more successful that I imagined it would be. They were very intrigued by the question marks all over the place. I also played "question/not a question" where I'd either ask a question or say a statement. If it was a question they'd hold up a question mark and say "question!" if it wasn't, they'd hold up their arms in an X and say "not a question!" The older two kids really liked this. The three younger kids were a little confused by it.
• Made paper quilts where you glue patterned squares of paper onto a big sheet of paper. Dean was so proud of his. He carried it around all day until he could show Matt when he got home. He wanted to sleep with it, but I convinced him that hanging it on his wall would be good enough.
• Sewed with plastic needles and yarn in a loosely crocheted quilt. This was stroke of genius on my part I think.
• Ate Quakes rice snacks
• Q listening game. Once again, the older two (4 year olds) really got it, but the 3's not so much
• hide the quarters in the flour (it was supposed to be cut the quarter, but no one was cooperating and they were all enjoying playing in the flour. It was a huge mess, but it took a good chunk of time and the kids loved it).

For R we:

Blast off!

• Made toilet paper rockets by painting toilet paper tubes with glue, covered them with foil and stickers, made the tip out of a crushed cone of foil, and fire out of red tissue paper
• Balloon rockets, definitely the most popular activity of the day. I had 6 strings tied to our garden and taped to our house. Each had a straw piece on it. I taped a big balloon onto it and closed it with a mini clothes pin. We counted down and the opened the clothespins and the balloons rocketed down the string. They had me blow up their balloons 4 or 5 times.
• Water bottle rocket that Matt helped me make. I got one good launch off, but the kids wanted to help and touch and crowd too much after that. I got one more rocket off after the kids left, and the bottle ended up in our neighbor's yard. Oops.
• We collected "moon rocks" on our rocket trip to the moon (our sand box with decorative rocks I got from the dollar store)
• glued planets to a black piece of paper so we had a solar system to explore. 

Additionally this week I fed three missionaries. It's amazing how different Elders are than Sisters. We've had sisters so long in our ward and they just switched to Elders. SOOOO different it was funny. I fed them Israeli Couscous with grilled vegetables, chicken satays, hummus and pita chips, and a tomato/cuc. salad. They had no clue what anything was, but they did a decent job of trying/eating everything. I always try and do something "different" because I'm  so afraid they'll be fed the same thing over and over.  Even in reference to the salad, one Elder said, "Well, I recognize cucumbers and tomatoes, but I don't know what that green stuff is on top." When I said it was dill he said, "Hu, that's not something I've ever cooked with!" =)

Tonight I accompanied 2 girls at their high school band solo festival. It was hard to prepare with my kids begging me to stop playing, shutting the piano cover, crying, trying to play over the top of me etc.  In the end it turned out ok (not fantastic, but I did only have 1 week to learn the music). The worst part was having to play on an electric piano at the festival since the stupid music holder doesn't easily allow for more than 3 sheets. I actually had one sheet fall on one of the girl's song. Oops. I was shocked at how much more difficult it was to accompany instruments than vocalists. I was happy I had an electric piano at home so I could practice with them since my piano is 1 1/2 notes lower than concert! Also, lyrics are way easier to follow and accommodate for mistakes than another set of notes! One was a bass clarinet. One was a flute. I don't think I'll be doing it again next year if anyone asks! I am just so glad it's over and I think I'm ok with this not being my phase of life right now. Maybe when kids are older.

Also, I have decided to run a half marathon in May. It's practically the only Saturday race in TX, and I figure if I'm going to do it, now's the time since I'm not pregnant or breastfeeding.  Last week our long run was 6 mi. and we kept a decent pace of 9 min. miles. Today we had a 5K run at race pace. I felt good about our 8.3 min. miles. It was so hot today I went through all my fuel belt water even though it was a "short" run. I don't know how I ever ran without water.  It's amazing to think that I consider 3 miles a short run now! It so used to be my max.

This pic has no relevance to the post, but I just loaded it on my computer. It was St. Patrick's day and the boys are wearing the rainbow hats we made at our party.

Love life and see good days: Aspire to inspire gratitude

It was a hard day today. Walt woke up in a terrible mood and I felt like I had to sludge through 4 hours of screaming toddler before even going to church where I most likely would have a 1 hour wrestingling match with two boys during sacrament meeting followed by a 2-hour-outnumbered-mass-chaos-of-18-month-old-nursery class where I'd be wiping snotty noses, pulling kids off chairs before they tumble to their demise, breaking up fights over toy planes and trains, trying to keep kids from eating play dough and stuffing crayons up their aforementioned snotty noses etc. etc.

Sacrament meeting did prove to be quite the fiasco. Walt kept trying to escape and screamed every time I stopped him from leaving our row. Matt took him out about half an hour in. About 10 min. later Dean was just being so naughty. Running out into the aisles. Making lots of noise. He was just bouncing off the ceiling. I ended up taking him out and setting him down in the hall next to a pillar for a time out. Matt ended up taking him into the clean room while I then took Walter and began to cry as the beautiful violin musical number started playing A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief. Three sisters in the lobby with their own toddlers came over to give me hugs, ask if I was ok, and sympathize with my circumstance.

A couple weeks ago we had a Stake  Relief Society conference where we had inspiring classes on how to be better people. My favorite of the three classes was one on perspective.

"The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances. We carry the seeds of the one or the other about with us in our minds wherever we go." Martha Washington

"...love life, and see good days..." says Peter (1 Peter 3:10) He goes on to say that in order to do that, we must stop speaking evil and guile. Criticism doesn't help us feel happier. Pre-judging, gossip and slander keep us from seeing the good. 

Are we actually looking for the good? Do we see the good that happens in our lives? Do we thank the Lord for the good things that come our way? Or do we just blame, nit-pick, and look for ways we have been wronged?

I pretty much was expecting the worst today and I got it.  I was looking for it, and I found it.  Luckily other people through kind acts and beautiful music helped lift me out of my funk.  I can wallow in my self-pity as long as I want, but if I want to be happy, I have to look for the good in the circumstances that I'm in and let go of being the victim.

I was reading in the Gospel Principles manual tonight on Charity, and President Monson said, “Let us ask ourselves the questions: ‘Have I done any good in the world today? Have I helped anyone in need?’ [Hymns, no. 223]. What a formula for happiness! What a prescription for contentment, for inner peace—to have inspired gratitude in another human being."

I really think that as we start to see the good in our lives, we are better able to be the good for others. We are more apt to serve, help, forgive, and love.

I own a book called "Change your questions, Change your life" by Wendy Watson Nelson, Elder Nelson's wife. As long as we are stuck in the "Why me" stage, we'll not grow or become better. But we need to move on to questions such as "What can I learn from this?" Heaven knows the older I get, the more I know I don't know everything!  There are plenty of lessons I need to learn from days like today, so I guess there's something to be grateful for!

The teacher of that RS class also reissued a challenge that Elder Eyring gave in a conference to write down the good things that happen to us so we can see the hand of the Lord in our lives. This past month I've been keeping a pen-and-paper journal (imagine that!) faithfully every night before I go to bed. I don't try to make it flow or worry about grammar. I just try and think of the top 5 (or more) things that happened during the day that I was grateful for or that made me laugh.  My blog has suffered because I'm getting my words out elsewhere, but I think I'm feeling better for it. It helps me look for the Lord's tender mercies and focus on the blessing my children are in my life rather than focus on the difficult moments where I may-or-may-not-have-wanted-to-strangle-my-darling-children-for-screaming-for-3-hours-straight-or-for-smearing-animal-cracker-goop-all-over-my-couches.You should try it.

Phew. The end. Kudos to you if you actually read my ramblings.