ramblings about weighing my options

Today I got to do a consultation with the "famous" vbac (vaginal birth after cesarean) doctor, Dr. Frederick Cummings.  When I asked my doctor if she would consider a trial of labor for a vba2c (after 2 c-sections), she said she wouldn't and that she didn't know anyone who would do such a procedure. I thought that sounded like baloney, so I started checking around with a midwife friend and she directed me to the ICAN group of northern Texas. It's a yahoo group forum for women who have had c-sections and want to avoid it if possible for future births. Cummings is far and away the most recommended OB for vbacs, especially after multiple cesareans. He has a really high success rate. Most of the others who don't use him use midwives in home or at birthing centers. 

A couple of weeks ago I had the chance to do a consultation with some midwives out of Sherman.  I LOVED their birth center/house. AWESOME. I wish I had done that with Dean. I bet I wouldn't have had to have a c-section since they're not so quick to jumpy on that. The doctor I was doing a vag birth with Dean sounded panicked and screamed for the nurses to call my doctor to come in the very first time Dean's vitals dropped. I had to beg to even give it a second shot before they carted me off to the OR. Both the midwives and Dr. Cummings said it's not abnormal for vitals to drop and that they probably did a c-section prematurely. The biggest drawback to the ladies in Sherman is that they're not certified nurse midwives.

I did a repeat c-section with Walter out of fear. Matt felt like it was too risky, and my doctor, while she would do a c-section after 1, was not really that "excited" about it since I couldn't be induced, blah, blah, blah. The recovery for me was just not a happy one. I know it's hard adjusting to two, but it was doubly hard not being able to pick up Dean for 6 weeks, especially since he wasn't even 2 years old yet and was still in his crib!  I felt like a crazy woman - seriously, I yelled A LOT and cried A LOT those first 6 months.

Anyway, the midwives said they'd be willing to try a vba2c with me. Dr. Cummings also said he is more than happy to do a trial of labor with me as well. On the one hand, I felt more comfortable with the women at the birthing center. It had the right feel to it. It wasn't cold and uninviting like a hospital. It was really, really nice.  On the other hand, if something were to go wrong, I'd be transported to a hospital in Sherman to do a c-section there with whatever doctor is on-call.  With Dr. Cummings, I could do a trial of labor (he strongly suggests having a duola) and he said the likelihood of having a c-section is small, though he could do it himself if he were doing my vbac and something went wrong.The worst thing about my visit with Dr. C today was waiting 1.5 hours to see the doctor with 2 boys along for the wait. His office was very hospital like (he's in a medical building in the Presby Hospital in Denton). And to be honest, I've grown very accustom to having women doctors. I don't think it would be a big deal to have a male doc., but it's definitely different.

Between the two choices I have now, I think I'd choose Dr. Cummings. But, as I have been doing more searching today, there are other birthing centers closer to me. The one in Allen has all certified nurse midwives who have delivered in hospitals, at home, and in the center. Now if they'll consider a trial of labor I may just go with them! I wish this were easier...